The correct way to educate children
The child knocked over water, milk, etc. It's all over the table
Wrong way: Train children: "Why are you so stupid? I can't even hold the cup. " What's more, give the child a slap.
Results: Adults and children were very angry, things were chaotic, and children learned to lose their temper and hit people to solve problems.
The correct way: comfort the child: "Son, it's okay. I know you didn't mean it. Pay attention next time. " Can you clean the table? "
Results: The child was forgiven, immediately apologized to the adults and happily wiped the table. Children learn tolerance.
Second, the child failed the exam.
Wrong way: Train children: "Look at you, aren't you ashamed of such a small score?" Who do you think it is? How can people get a hundred exams? You are so stupid! I am very angry. "What's more, kick the child hard.
Results: The child was in a bad mood and thought, "I'm finished. I am too stupid to learn well. No matter how hard I study, I can't learn well. "
The correct way: comfort the child: "Son, I know that you are also uncomfortable. Failing an exam once doesn't mean anything. The key is to find out the reason for not doing well in the exam, and then solve it, okay? Let me analyze it with you. I believe you will make progress next time. "
Results: the child looked for the reason seriously and thought, "I will work hard and live up to my parents' expectations." I will do it. "
Third, children do homework, it's time to go to bed, and the homework is not finished. Children have a lot of homework, but it doesn't count if they don't grind it.
Wrong way: train children: "You piss me off, why haven't you finished writing?" Not if you don't watch it for a while Write quickly! " I look at you. "
Results: the child was not in a hurry, but also very leisurely, thinking, "I can't finish writing."
The correct way: seriously and calmly say to the child: "Son, doing homework is your business. You should be responsible for your own affairs. You are not allowed to write it until you have finished it. It's time for bed. Go to school tomorrow and explain to the teacher yourself. "
Results: The child realized his mistake and regretted it. He thought to himself, "This is over. How should I tell the teacher? It seems that I have to do my homework quickly tomorrow, or I will be criticized. "
Fourth, children's homework is sloppy.
Wrong way: get angry: "What a mess! Can't you write better?" A man with a big temper will tear up a child's homework with three hands and two hands.
Results: The child was at a loss and at a loss.
The correct way: seriously and calmly say to the child: "Son, I have already said that if the writing is not neat, it will be rewritten. Because it is not neat, the teacher can't see clearly. You see, this is an unbreakable rule, so you must rewrite it. You see, you can write like this, stressing the writing norms, horizontal and vertical, and the size is the same. Son, all you have to do is write better than what you just said. Do you have confidence? "
Results: The child understood the importance of the regulations and thought, "It's easier than what I just said." Have confidence.
5. It is impolite for children not to greet people.
Wrong way: teach the child in public: "why are you so rude?" I can't even say hello. Teaching you at ordinary times is worthless. "
Results: Children's self-esteem was greatly hurt, and they felt ashamed and inferior.
The correct way: give the child a step: "My child is a little embarrassed, relax, he is also very polite at ordinary times." Give a polite example.
Results: The child knew that he was wrong and thought, "I didn't do it well this time. I will do it well next time. I can't disappoint my parents. "
Six, the child's socks are dirty.
Wrong way: Parents: "Take off your socks and I'll wash them for you."
Results: The child accepted it with a clear conscience and thought that it was normal for his parents to serve him, but he was not tired anyway.
The correct way: discuss with your child: "Son, can you wash socks?" Mom is very tired today. Can you wash her socks, too Thank you, son. "
Results: The child was respected and went to wash socks, thinking, "Pay more attention to parents in the future. I am also a member of this family. They are getting older and older. "
Skills of educating children
One: Respect for children's "sophistry"-feedback effect
Whenever parents point out their children's mistakes, children always find many reasons to prove their innocence. At this time, parents generally call their children's behavior "sophistry" angrily. In fact, this is not sophistry, but a kind of feedback from children to their parents' education.
Education is a two-way street. Parents should not only teach, but also accept children's feedback, so that education can achieve the most perfect effect. However, many parents are not aware of this. They just "teach" themselves and don't care about their children's information feedback. Such education often fails to achieve the purpose that parents want.
Second, analyze and respect children's feedback.
When children give feedback on our education, we must first analyze this feedback. Of course, this analysis is not only aimed at children's language, but also includes children's movements and expressions.
However, it is worth parents' attention that children's feedback should be respected regardless of whether it is "sophistry". In the above-mentioned educational cases, when the children tell the reason why "the children in our class say so", the mother yells at the children without analyzing their feedback. Is this a sign of disrespect for children's feedback? Therefore, the mother doesn't know the truth of the child's feedback-she doesn't think "you are so stupid" is a dirty word.
It is conceivable that parents misunderstand and suppress their children's feedback. In the long run, children will never give positive feedback to their mothers' education. Without children's cooperation, parents can't educate their children.
Third, educate children's feedback purposefully.
When analyzing the problems of children's feedback, parents can carry out purposeful education on children's feedback. For example, if children don't know the importance of politeness when giving feedback, parents will never do it again. They can tell their children the importance of being polite through examples and reasons, and guide them to be polite children. If the child's feedback is that he doesn't want to know the responsibility caused by his recent wrong words and deeds, parents should isolate the child and let him become a person who knows his mistakes and corrects them, and dare to do something. ...
In short, no matter what feedback children have on their parents' education, respecting and analyzing children's feedback is the primary prerequisite for achieving educational goals.
Fourth, family education should not be inconsistent-Watch Theorem
Psychologists have done an experiment: give a person a watch, and when someone asks him the time, he can tell it quickly and confidently; However, when the man got two different watches, the watchmaker could not know the time quickly. Because two watches can't tell a person a more accurate time, on the contrary, it will make people who look at the watch lose confidence in the accurate time. Psychologists call this phenomenon "watch phenomenon", and draw a conclusion that there can only be one guiding principle or value orientation in doing things. Later, people called this conclusion "Watch Theorem".
Advice on educating children
First, give children more praise and encouragement. Some people say that "a good boy likes to brag". I quite agree with this view. As long as the child makes a little progress, it is necessary to praise her in time, give her a sense of accomplishment and urge her to make persistent efforts; Try not to scold her face when you step back, and don't compare your children with others' children. Every child has many bright spots. If parents often praise and encourage their children, they will certainly perform better.
Second, cultivate children's awareness and develop good habits. Educator Sun Yunxiao said: "Habit determines the fate of children." It can be seen how important good habits are to children. The primary school stage is the stage when children's consciousness and good habits are formed. Parents should let their children know what is right and what is wrong. When to do your homework and when to play. Usually, I always encourage her to go to bed early and get up early, let her get up early in the morning to watch the sun, and tell her that the most beautiful sunrise can only be seen by early children. Therefore, she gets up early every day and goes to read books after reading. Children spend most of their time at school, and the school has a strong learning atmosphere. Children know what to do, but they don't know when to go home from school.
So I always let her go home from school and finish her homework first, and don't allow her family to disturb her homework. Children love reading, first of all, they should form the habit of loving reading. Parents write books, children will follow suit, and habits will naturally form. I bought a lot of books for my daughter and read them for half an hour before going to bed every night. I read my book, she reads her book, and she will read it with relish. However, good habits are not formed overnight, and they should be persevered and accumulated over time.
Third, cultivate children's independence. I used to be meticulous, and as a result, my child developed the psychology of dependence. Now, I don't remind her anymore, let her check her bag by herself. If I bring less, I won't ask if the teacher criticizes me. She already knows that all these things in life and study are her own business, and she is responsible for her actions, so that she will be a responsible person in the future.
Fourth, contact teachers frequently to learn about children's learning situation and performance at school. Families and schools should always keep in touch and be consistent. Parents should take the initiative to visit the teacher at school, reflect their children's learning situation and ideological attitude at home, and ask their children about their learning attitude at school, whether they are serious in class and whether they speak positively. If your child is insufficient in some aspects, you can have targeted education after returning to China to avoid detours and develop some bad habits.
Fifth, we should educate our children to study hard and aim high. People can't achieve great things without ambition. Ambition is a person's goal. Urge children to have clear goals, and ask them to have ambitions, a clear direction and study hard. At home, ask children to make "parents should not slow down when they call;" Parents, don't be lazy. At school, children are required to "respect teachers and listen to their teaching". "Listen carefully in class and finish all the homework assigned by the teacher on time; Unite classmates and learn from each other's strengths; Do as many things as possible that are beneficial to the public at school. Strictly abide by the school rules, strive to become excellent students with all-round development in morality, intelligence and physique, and serve the motherland and people in the future. Being a wise, virtuous and conscious person is our expectation and educational program for children.
Watching children change day by day, as a parent, I see it in my eyes and like it in my heart. I know that every progress she has made is inseparable from the teachers' earnest teaching, the selfless help of her classmates and the hard work of her parents. I have reason to believe that with our company and scientific guidance from teachers, children will grow up healthily and they will be our pride.
1. 3 pieces of children's educational experience
2. Ceng Shiqiang's method of educating children
3. Teachers' educational methods for children
4. See how experts educate children.
5. Teachers' experience in educating children