There are problems with children's education, so many parents will take pains to tell people how their children are disobedient, how hard they are, and how they are not sensible. Actually, this is a misunderstanding caused by ignorance.
The child has just come to this world and knows nothing. His way of dealing with all the problems in life is to learn from the people around him. As Rousseau said: "Our attitude towards others is initially determined by the attitude of others towards us." Children learn how to deal with all kinds of things in life from the living environment (Austrian psychologist Adler called this "lifestyle"). If a child is rude to others, then we can basically be sure: first, the child is treated "impolitely"; Second, no one taught him how to be polite. Similarly, if a child doesn't want to study, we can basically draw the conclusion that, in this child's life experience, firstly, he didn't realize the happiness of learning; Second, no one taught him how to study.
Because people's learning ability is too strong, children can easily learn a lot in the living environment. This gives us the illusion that children should automatically learn all the principles of life and correct behaviors without teaching. In fact, any correct behavior of children should be taught, and it needs repeated training to finalize the design. In this process, if our parents don't give their children patient and meticulous guidance, then the children will inevitably have behavioral deviations. When a child is not properly guided in the living environment, he actually chooses the learning mode at random from the environment, so that he can imitate it at will. What entered his brain depends on where his attention was focused at that time. If good things come into his sight, he may learn good things. If something bad comes into his sight, he may learn something bad. In this process, it depends on his angle and state at that time, that is to say, if his angle and state are different, he is likely to learn good things into bad things, and vice versa. It should be said that without patient guidance, the possibility of children learning well automatically is too small. Now we have fully understood that those good children who are praised by people are carefully cultivated and educated, but some parents unconsciously do things right, just like my parents did to our six brothers and sisters.
If there is something wrong with children's education, it is 100% the responsibility of parents. As we all know, no parents deliberately want to teach their children bad. The reason why children have problems is because parents have problems, because parents have full responsibility for educating their children. We should always remember that children come into this world without any wrong ideas and shortcomings. When they were born, they were like a blank sheet of paper. Later, the marks of shortcomings and defects were all made by our parents: some of them were done because of ignorance, for example, we didn't understand pedagogy and psychology; Some of them are driven by our wrong ideas. For example, we think that children must listen to us and force them to obey their mistakes. There are also some mistakes that we make because we can't control ourselves. For example, we make mistakes when we are out of control but take it out on our children.
My education of children
All along, my education of children has been very casual. I hope my children have a happy childhood and don't want to put too much pressure on them. Besides, learning is your own business, so parents should not participate too much. This view continued until the fourth grade of the child. Not only did he behave in all aspects, but he also learned to lie. He didn't finish his homework, saying he did. He is lazy and procrastinating in his studies. Gradually, I also found that he disapproved of my occasional discipline and talked back to me and lost his temper. I am helpless about this kind of rebellion of children. So I reflected on myself. I can't totally blame the children. I have too little inspection and supervision on her, and there is no good education method. I just let it develop naturally. Not once in a while It's no use. Recognizing this, I will take action. So I thought of books. One day during the holiday, I went to the bookstore and read some books about education. I don't think foreign education is suitable for China, so I have no choice. I especially agree with appreciation education, so I bought a book "Teach You How to Appreciate Children" by Hong Zhou. After reading it, I had the idea of implementing appreciation education for children.
My children are introverted and timid, and they don't take the initiative to do anything. This may also have genetic factors. My wife and I were like this when we were young. Because I don't have too many constraints in his learning process from grade one to grade four, he only relies on his own consciousness, so he doesn't have his own learning methods and good study habits, and his interest in learning is average. In view of the child's personality and his current situation, I have made my own educational goals and children's learning plans. The goal is to cultivate children's interest in learning and develop good study habits. This goal will be achieved before graduation from primary school. The plan is: use 1 hour to do homework, write calligraphy for half an hour, read extracurricular books for half an hour, watch TV for half an hour, and control the rest of the time by yourself, but you must go to bed before 9 o'clock (except in special circumstances). As for me, I accompany him every day, reading books and magazines related to work, reading books I like to read, such as Reader, practicing calligraphy and writing excerpts. His excerpts were poor, so I excerpted them with him. I recommend articles suitable for him to read and provide them to her. He wrote a weekly diary, so did I. He practices calligraphy, so do I. In short, I tried my best to learn the same knowledge with him and cultivate his interest, and I also benefited from it. We work together and make progress together. I have also worked out reward measures: 5 points for each big progress, 2 points for each small progress, gifts worth 20 yuan for every 50 points, and gifts worth 50 yuan for every 100 points. I specially prepared a notebook for him to record his progress and divide his progress into two parts, one is the progress in study and the other is the progress in life. And every progress is recorded, with large and small stickers attached. The child developed a strong interest the second time. Within a few days of the implementation of the plan, he was praised by the teacher and got due marks and stickers. I also lost no time to communicate with the teacher and explain my ideas to him, hoping to get his support. The teacher also left me a message on the feedback book, telling me the progress of the child, the problems still existing in the child and the aspects that need parents' cooperation.
When my plan was implemented for two months, my child passed the mid-term exam and his math performance was not satisfactory, so I called my child's class teacher to ask why. The teacher said that he didn't learn some questions in this exam. Don't blame the child, don't blame him. He also said that the biggest progress of children recently is self-confidence, which is more important than anything else. Of course, I won't be blamed, but I want to know the reasons why my children failed in the exam and the effect of my educational methods. After listening to the teacher, I strengthened my confidence and continued to implement my plan. I believe my goal will be achieved. Besides, I didn't value grades. I have always believed that as long as I am interested in learning, I will not worry about my grades! It is my greatest hope that he can study happily and form good study habits. If the goal is achieved, it will lay a good foundation for him to go to junior high school. I also firmly believe that my children are not rotten wood. As long as the method is correct, he will have a good future.
After a semester, I saw my child's progress: he could read some extracurricular books independently. Before that, he paid little attention to my excellent composition for primary school students, Snowflake, Story King. He has basically developed good study habits. When I am not at home, I can finish the plan on my own initiative without being urged by my grandparents, which was impossible in the past. He has been weak in reading texts, and he has been praised by teachers many times this semester and recognized by his classmates. In his composition, he can give full play to his imagination and his typos have been greatly improved. Excerpts are also his weakness. With my encouragement, his excerpts won several "excellent". Countless progress made his score reach 100, and he got the gift he wanted. He tasted the sweetness of hard work and became more motivated in his studies. I know he is making progress, but these are unstable. I must stick to it and consolidate these good habits in order to achieve my expected goal. I will continue to work hard!