This way of thinking is gambler thinking. If you bet everything on uncertain things, you will have a high probability of failure. Most likely, I sacrificed my career in vain, but I didn't achieve my child's future. Life is short, and many tragedies are lived for others. In fact, the center of all life problems lies in people, and improving and changing personal qualities is to change the fate and the fate of relatives and families related to it. In other words, positive parents, hard work and role models are the best education for children.
Generally speaking, children's growth is related to heredity, environment, education and their own efforts. Parents can only provide the best environment for their children within their own capabilities, and ultimately they have to rely on their own efforts and struggles. After all, children have their own happiness. In fact, high-quality education may not bring a bright future to children, but mismatched education will devour children's interest and motivation in learning. It is better to let nature take its course than to over-educate.
If you are a father, please don't sacrifice your career, because a father gives his children strength, knowledge and height, which plays an exemplary role for them. The best way for you to love your children and educate them is to let them know that his father is a man with strong connection with society, a man with ideals, dreams and enterprising spirit. Third-rate dad is tired all day and doesn't care at home; A second-rate father can be responsible, take good care of his wife and children, and take good care of his career; A first-class father can arouse the mood of the whole family, not only because of the prosperous career, harmonious family relations, harmonious elders, virtuous wife and filial son, but also because children follow their father's example and constantly strive for his height.
If you are a mother, please don't sacrifice your career. Being a full-time mother is not easy, but it will also bring family members' incomprehension. Only when mom is financially independent can she stand up, instead of simply becoming an accessory of others, can she win the respect of the whole family. You may have a good husband, but most men may understand that it is not easy for you to work full-time at first, but gradually they will take your sacrifice for granted and you will abandon your future instead. Even if it is not just an ordinary post, women in the workplace, through colleagues and business contacts, will keep women from leaving the society, not contacting the society, and psychologically not getting farther and farther away from their husbands.
So, if it is you, please don't do it. If your partner wants to work full-time, please don't let him. Support him to have his own career and make progress with you.
There is only one kind of love in the world, which aims at separation, and that is the love of children and parents. They will leave your arms one day. When you look back on the past, you have given everything for your children over the years, but you have lived a humbled and worthless life, and you will live a mediocre life with great regret.
For the sake of children, it is ok to make sacrifices in your career, but you can't choose to give up everything completely before making a decision. And whether it is necessary to work full-time depends on the family situation! For example, my wife and I have made some selective sacrifices. We used to live apart. After my children went to primary school, I gave up my public office in a city and came to Guangzhou to find a more relaxed job, so I could stay with my children. My wife had a chance to be promoted, but she had to be transferred to another department and traveled a lot. Now my daughter is facing a junior high school. He is her tutor when she goes to school and thinks. In order to accompany her, her lover gave up the promotion opportunity for fear of delaying her children's further education. We made sacrifices, but this is not to give up our careers. Maybe we don't have the capital to give up our career, because the education expenses of both children need our work to support them. Do not accompany students before the third grade, and do not report to extracurricular classes. At that time, it was handed over to the trusteeship at noon and night, and the children finished their homework at the trusteeship meeting. We came back from work to check the signature of our homework. Of course, parents still need to spend time with them at night and give them counseling when necessary. This does not mean to accompany them to do their homework, but to find out where the problems are when checking their homework, such as sloppy habits and scribbling, and correct them in time. The most important thing is study habits, such as correct guidance. If you study well, your grades in primary school won't be too bad. My child thought about it when he went to school in the fourth grade, and then he began to accompany his child to extracurricular classes. Therefore, I also think that the daughter of senior grade needs to study more urgently than the son of senior one. You don't have to go to extracurricular classes in the lower grades, but you must do well in your study habits. Accompanying reading aims at making good study habits, and children's study habits can not be solved by training courses. Don't rely too much on them.
If you want to train children, first of all, you should teach them to listen carefully in class. Why do students taught by the same teacher have good grades and poor grades, that is, there is a gap in the quality of lectures? This circular chain is very important for each preview before class-class-review after class. As a parent, you may be busy at work. After returning home, I basically have no idea about my children. I feel so tired that I have no strength to speak. I will tutor my children while working. My child has finished school and is old, so he can't find his favorite career. It's better to get busy now, make a good plan for children's tutoring, and act according to the plan every day, which will make you tired, but after the crucial first month or two, you will be on track!
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I think as parents, we should put our minds right. Children are their own, and whether they are worth paying can't be measured by sacrificing themselves. Everything parents want. Including, parents are willing to work hard, parents are willing to have a baby, and parents are willing to let the baby play freely. Parents are willing! The opinions given by others are two-sided. What matters is what you think. And parents chose companionship.
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For children, in fact, parents had better not help their children with their homework. To tell the truth, the textbooks are different now, not the same as when we were here. Most of the problem-solving ideas in our memory come from junior high school and senior high school. It can be said that the more parental guidance, the worse the child's performance may be. One is to influence them to cultivate the habit of independent thinking. One is that what parents teach will conflict with the current primary school textbooks, leaving children at a loss. Parents have the responsibility to supervise. Let the children do their homework by themselves. If not, let the children consult their classmates and teachers themselves.
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It's not necessary.
Parents are the most direct role models for children. If you have a clear goal, a positive attitude and a successful life, children will naturally learn from you, which is the best education in itself.
Maybe you will consider the story of Meng Mu's Three Steps. This story is different from yours, because for Meng Mu, she can only make a living in a very low-level occupation, and the place where she lives is the same, but for Mencius, the difference in living environment is enormous. Therefore, Meng Mu's three moves had no influence on Meng Mu's own career development, but had a great influence on Mencius' future development.
Everyone only saw the influence of the environment on Mencius during their three moves to Meng Mu. In fact, there is another key factor, that is, Meng Mu's own attitude towards children's education, which is actually a more critical factor, even greater than the impact of the environment. If Meng Mu is an ordinary person who just wants to make a living, then Mencius is also very good in the first two environments, and both of them can make a living. But what Meng Mu wanted to cultivate was a real aristocrat and a real successful person, so Mencius succeeded.
Therefore, the success of children's future education depends not only on the surrounding environment, but also on the attitude of parents. Parents' behavior must be the best representative of parents' attitude. Please use your own successful behavior to motivate your child to succeed.
I don't think these two topics can be compared. Children's education is children's education and your career is your career. Without the support of your career, can children's education continue better?
People live in this world for themselves. If they want to live, they must have the money to maintain this happiness. Well, I think hardware facilities can better take care of children's future education. Of course, we should spend more time with and take care of our children. While busy with our own career, we can take care of our children in our spare time and help them with their homework seriously. I think this is the best. I can't attribute my unhappiness at work and the stress of life to taking care of children. I don't think this is the responsibility and responsibility that a person should have.
In fact, if you think about it carefully, do you think a family will be happy without a good career for its parents to support? Can children's education be guaranteed in the future? Children's education is his own business. The most important thing for you now is to make money and create a better educational environment for your children. Whether you can be a success depends on his own nature. What his parents are offering him now is only an auxiliary condition. The most important thing is to see that your external conditions are not unique, and subjective conditions are the most fundamental.
Everyone has their own things and space. Although giving up work for children sounds very touching, is it really reliable to think about it in real life? One thousand children under your education, he still didn't grow up, didn't get better development, and you lost your career, then this is called losing your wife and losing your soldiers. This result will have a great impact on your future family expenses and so on.
Therefore, we should not look at the problem too one-sidedly, and we should not resolutely quit our career to educate our children because of impulse. I think you can use the time after work in the evening to teach your children carefully, help them in time when their lives need it, give them some care and love, take good care of her and do your parents' duty. I think that's enough. Because as a parent, you bear not only a child, but also the responsibility of this family.
Therefore, we must have our own choices in the face of right and wrong, and we must not impulsively lead ourselves to do something wrong.
This question reminds me of an interview with a female entrepreneur. She is tired of being asked "how to balance family and career", but men will not be asked this question under the same conditions.
What I want to ask is probably a mother.
It is difficult to balance family and career, although there are successful cases. The popular joke "today's society requires Chinese mothers to be superhuman, not to be full-time mothers and not to take care of children less". But most mothers are not superman.
Both family and career need time and energy, but manpower is limited, so it is inevitable to make a choice. How to choose, you can only ask yourself, the answer given by others is others' and will definitely suit you. This can find some enlightenment from Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory. In the hierarchy of needs, from bottom to top are physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, respect needs and self-needs. If you sacrifice your good career and focus on your children's education, and you can still meet the above needs, especially social needs, respect needs and self-needs, then you can consider choosing your children's education. But if this kind of sacrifice makes you lose the respect of others, especially your husband, and give up yourself, I suggest you think twice before you act.
Most mothers are not superhuman. Don't let other people's comments affect your choice. No matter how you choose, a self-respecting, self-confident and self-reliant mother will be the best example for her children.
Children and career seem to be multiple-choice questions for many parents in China. For the post-80s young people, they have entered their thirties. Most of these highly educated young people have higher aspirations for their careers and future. Raising children has become a big burden for them. The pressure of life and the helplessness of raising children make the post-80 s generation in a dilemma and miserable.
For the sake of children, many mothers can make such sacrifices now, which is a phenomenon I have observed in some places. I never quite agreed with this practice.
After all, it is his own business for a child to study. We may be able to take good care of him in life, but we can't count on help in study. A child who can really learn, I believe he can find his own learning method and solve his own learning confusion. The initiative of learning is a state, and as parents, we can clearly realize it. I believe he doesn't want us to interfere with his study either.
With the growth of age, children's independent thinking ability will become stronger and stronger, and their autonomy will become stronger and stronger. We can ask the child's wishes. I don't think most children will agree with their parents to make such sacrifices.
As the parents of the elders, they have their own good careers, including their own way of life. I think most people don't want to give up their old lives. After all, this is also the world I have worked hard for. Children are always independent, and children are not the whole of our lives. "Mom, when I grow up, I will send you to the best nursing home." Of course, if we make a reasonable plan, I believe we can try our best to "balance work and family".
In fact, many times, educating children and focusing on their careers are not contradictory. Children need companionship, but we hope that high-quality companionship can get twice the result with half the effort. Parents don't have time to accompany their children at all, just to see if you have the heart to accompany them. Many successful people, such as Bai and Lei Jun, have not delayed family education because of their careers.
Not unnecessary, but never!
The ideal result of school education is that students can learn book knowledge completely, while the ideal result of family education is that children have an example to learn, so family education is more inclined to set an example!
Children's learning is their business, not yours. In China, it can be said that thousands of mothers (especially rural mothers) gave up their jobs to take care of their children, and some even took their children to junior high schools. At that time, they found that it was not easy to find a job again and they could only do small business. In fact, this has set a very bad image for children, that is, mothers don't have their own careers and jobs, and everything is mainly children. It is difficult for such children to have an independent personality when they grow up.
If you are afraid of missing something, you will miss something. Learning is not indoctrination, education is not imposed on children. The best state of learning is spontaneous, but the happiness of progress can be obtained through learning, and the sense of gain will be the continuous driving force for him to continue learning. So you find that this has nothing to do with your parents' career, and it doesn't have to be at the expense of your family's career.
Throughout the ages, no two successful people's lives have been limited by a certain fixed education model, so don't be afraid that children will miss some education they should have at some stage. As long as we grasp the most fundamental things of education-spontaneity, interest and knowledge acquisition, children will surely get better and better. At the same time, if parents set a very good example for their children, for example, parents can achieve good results or success in their own fields, which will provide a weather vane for their children. I believe that an excellent parent-teacher association will bring incomparable self-confidence to children and make them be cured by childhood all their lives.
Careless about children's education and serious about their own career. You must distinguish your own life from that of your children. You should have your own ideal and life, and children should also have their own ideal and life. Don't take the child's life for yourself, and don't lose your life for the child.
It's sunny when everyone is fine.
Come on!
First, children's growth has its own laws.
Children's academic performance, the gains and losses of education and training are not necessarily related to their parents' occupations. On the contrary, parents' excessive concern and meticulous help affect children's autonomous learning ability.
From the relationship between internal and external factors, it is the individual child who plays a major role in children's growth and progress, and the others are external factors. The main factor that determines a child's academic performance is the individual, not the parents.
Second, career is the foundation of parents, and doing a good job is also an example for children to learn. Career is the foundation of each of us, the source of life, and the embodiment of everyone's spiritual pursuit and life value. Doing a good job with peace of mind is also an example for children.
There is no need to give up personal career and pursuit for children. On the contrary, to do a good job and make achievements is the capital of educating children. Advise every parent not to give up his career and personal pursuit for the sake of his children, as you will lose more than you gain.
Third, giving up one's career for children may not necessarily bring up good children. If you give up your personal career for your children. Personally, if you give up your career, you may be depressed and lead an irregular life because you have no personal pursuit. Not taking care of the children, but ruining yourself.
From the child's point of view, if parents don't have jobs and careers, there will be no living resources and material security, which will cause certain mental stress to children.
In a word, we'd better negotiate with our parents, taking care of our career and children, but the focus is slightly different. For example, fathers can focus on their own work, while mothers take care of their work and only focus on their children's study and education.
I think this is the best way, because I can't give up my job and my children can't neglect their studies. Parents stole their children's laziness today, and there is no chance to make up for it in the future. Mr. Li Ka-shing once said that no matter how successful a person is in his career, he can't make up for his failure in educating his children.
As long as it is planned, it is not that difficult to deal with this problem. As parents, we can walk with a heavy load, and we don't care whether we are tired or not. We can educate our children while working, and have both. As the saying goes, teaching by example is more important than teaching by words. I believe that as long as parents are honest, children will work hard!