Using seven tricks skillfully to solve parents' educational troubles, parents are most concerned about the healthy growth of their children, and the methods of educating their children are very important. Parents always want to give their children the best and hope that their children can grow into promising people, so they always spare no effort in education. Education should learn to tap children's interests. Here are seven ways to solve parents' educational troubles skillfully.
Using seven tricks skillfully to solve parents' educational troubles 1
First, don't take drastic measures.
Some parents think that "jade is not a tool" and "it is not easy for children to become talents without beating and cursing". Therefore, whenever a child makes a mistake, it is not a calm reason, but a slap in the face. Treating children rudely like this will not only make them realize their mistakes, but also leave a shadow in their hearts, and their personality will easily become extreme.
Second, we should set an example.
Children can see what parents say and do. Their imitation ability is very strong, and empty preaching is far less influential than actual action. Isn't there such a public service advertisement? The mother washed his grandmother's feet, and the younger son saw it and learned to wash his mother's feet. Similarly, "fish begins to stink at the head", if the parents behave badly, it is hard to say that the educated children are not copies of failure. It can be seen that the words and deeds of adults are really important.
Third, pay attention to the role of emotions.
Different emotions have different effects on people's psychology. Positive emotions make people happy, confident and comfortable; Negative emotions make people depressed, lack self-confidence and depressed. Similarly, different emotions have different effects on parents' psychology and behavior. Positive emotions can inspire parents to take the initiative to understand their children in a loving way, care about their growth, and educate and cultivate their children in a democratic and scientific way, thus making the parent-child relationship closely coordinated and the family atmosphere harmonious and warm. Parents should attach importance to the role of their emotions in family education, strive to cultivate and maintain positive emotions, and overcome and eliminate negative emotions.
Fourth, the opinions of adults should be unified.
Sometimes parents need to communicate, agree on the same thing and have a unified attitude. You are forbidden to gossip. You play the white face and I play the red face. Don't scold each other in front of the children. Otherwise, children often can't agree and don't know who to listen to. Over time, the status and prestige of adults in children's minds will disappear, and it will be more difficult to discipline children.
5. Don't stifle children's interest.
Learning is important, but interest is the source of stimulating children's creativity. What society needs now is not a reading machine, but an all-round generalist. Therefore, if the child shows a certain hobby, don't interfere, but encourage him, maybe this will become a skill of the child.
Sixth, it is best for children to answer.
Sometimes parents will tell their children something several times, especially mothers, for fear that their children will not understand and do what they want. This is what people often say. For most children, the last thing they want to hear and dislike is their parents' nagging. The more unwilling they are to listen, the more worried their parents are. On the contrary, double nagging, which has become a vicious circle. Parents often feel sad and worried: "Is nagging bad for children?" "You don't tell them how to be sensible!" It seems that only by endlessly telling children one truth after another is the best family education method. When nagging, try a new method: turn nagging into asking questions. When you find a problem, turn what you want to say into asking a question and let the children speak. Maybe children speak better and more vividly than their parents. Don't put on airs when asking questions, be sincere and enthusiastic, and listen carefully to the children's answers. If the child is not completely right, don't rush to nag. You can ask again. Even if it is wrong, there is no need to publish an authoritative answer. Instead, he can subtly use questions to hint at his mistakes and make the child rethink.
Seven, compulsory punishment is better than encouragement.
When the inner anger finally broke through the bottom line of patience and escalated from verbal criticism to physical criticism, military punishment appeared! Punishment by force can't solve any problems, it will only intensify the contradictions between the two sides and make the study that might have continued run aground halfway; Under the fist of parents, the child's self-esteem is also shattered, which is easy to form the psychology of breaking the jar and breaking the fall, and even invulnerability to all criticisms. It is really a lose-lose situation. Therefore, when the mother wants to punish by force, it is better to use encouragement instead, so that the child can accept criticism happily. Children need to find their own gap in comparison and real praise. When parents affirm their children's achievements, they will have the confidence to correct their mistakes. On the contrary, parents take a rude attitude towards their children's mistakes, and he is likely to become more rebellious. In fact, children's fragile hearts especially want to be affirmed by their parents, give them confidence and let them accept criticism happily. The art of criticism lies in positive reinforcement rather than negative reinforcement. Instead of strengthening children's weaknesses, or denying them completely, it is better to look at their small achievements and good signs, keep them in mind, strengthen their good side, give necessary guidance, let children see their potential and enhance their self-confidence.
Using seven tricks skillfully to solve parents' educational troubles 2 Step 1: What behaviors need to be changed?
Parents must find and accurately describe their children's behaviors or ideas, and observe their frequency and characteristics. Remember, describe specific behaviors, not evaluate children. For example, Jia Jia doesn't clean the room, not Jaga is too lazy. Then observe the time or frequency of this behavior, and on what occasions it happens the most; Does this behavior always appear in front of one parent, but rarely in front of the other parent? When parents carefully calculate the frequency of a child's behavior, sometimes they find that some behaviors are not as frequent as expected. This process also makes parents understand the causes of this behavior, and it is easy to find a way to correct it.
Step 2: Is it really a child's problem?
Before taking any action, parents must find out whether there is really something wrong with their children's behavior. Ask yourself if you have been worrying about other things besides children recently, such as troubles at work, marital crisis, entanglement between friends and so on. Sometimes parents don't want to face up to their problems, but take it out on their children. When parents determine that their children's behavior really needs attention, parents need to ask themselves: am I asking too much of my children? If the answer is yes, then the problem belongs to the parents themselves, not the children. Parents need to adjust their expectations for their children instead of forcing them to do things they can't do. Then parents need to ask: Is the child's problem caused by temporary stress? When children transfer to another school, move, or have major events at home, some behavioral changes will occur due to psychological pressure. Although parents need to pay attention to these behavioral changes and help their children tide over the difficulties, they do not need to regard them as children's behavioral problems.
Step 3: What does the child think?
1. Once parents determine that their children's behavior problems do exist. Parents need to know their children's views on this behavior. If the child is a baby, parents need to observe and try to figure out how the child feels. Parents should ask their children's opinions directly when they are older. Sometimes the child's answer can directly solve the problem. Pearl Krabs, 6, refuses to go to bed on time every night. She always dawdles until her mother is angry. Mother asked Pearl Krabs how to sleep, and Pearl Krabs said, tell two stories before going to bed, and then read in bed for a while before going to bed. Mother accepted Pearl Krabs's advice and the problem of sleeping was solved.
Step 4: Am I too impatient?
In the process of solving problems, parents pay attention to their children's problems and are troubled by the difficulty in finding countermeasures. It is easy to worry about your children and ignore other cute and interesting actions of your children. Therefore, parents especially need to spend some time playing games and activities with their children to maintain a balanced, positive and happy parent-child relationship.
Step 5: What should I do?
After parents find the root of the problem, they should take timely intervention measures to change their children's behavior. Intervention measures can be to establish rules, or strengthen rules, or encourage children to master new skills or learn new behaviors. Parents often need to take care of their children and help them change their behavior in several ways. Nine years in the army is short of friends. Because the army likes and is good at swimming, his parents let him attend swimming training classes on the one hand to improve his self-confidence. On the other hand, students from the army or children of their colleagues and friends are often invited to play at home to increase their social experience.
Step 6: How effective is this?
After two weeks of intervention, parents should calculate the frequency of problem behavior again. See if it's reduced. If not, go to step 7 and start again. Don't lose heart, in the process of trying this kind of intervention, the problems are often exposed more clearly, and more effective methods may be thought of. .
Step 7: Don't lose heart and start again.