Parents' educational concept is wrong. As we all know, parents want their children to grow up to be promising people, but we should adopt correct educational methods, and the wrong educational methods will often backfire. So do you know what wrong educational ideas parents have? Let's have a look!
What are the wrong educational concepts of parents? 1 child-centered
In daily life, such parents are not uncommon. Good things are reserved for children, and parents can't eat what children like to eat. This will make the child feel that it is natural to leave the best to him. Parents eat whatever they like, and they cry. I am also self-centered in my dealings with children. I always get the best things first, which is selfish and I don't know how to share. The correct way is to treat children as family members and give everyone a copy of everything, so that babies can learn to share and care about others.
Parents apologize for the baby.
When going out to play, children fight with children and cry for other friends. Many parents are busy apologizing to their children. In this case, the child didn't realize his mistake, and he didn't think it was wrong to do so and hit people, because when his parents stood up, he was also a person who dared not take responsibility when he grew up. Therefore, when children do something wrong, parents should correct their mistakes in time and guide them correctly. Tell the child that it is wrong to hit someone, apologize to others, let him bear the consequences, let the child remember and understand right and wrong.
Carry tofu by the board to educate children
Many young parents always like to educate their children with the help of the knowledge in books because they have no parenting career, and do it too seriously according to the requirements in books. If the child doesn't do better than the book and doesn't do as the book says, he will be very anxious and think that the child's intellectual development is problematic. In fact, parents can learn from books, but they can't move tofu according to the board. The book says that children should be like, and they should be taught according to their own actual situation. Because children's development is very different, different personalities should adopt different educational methods. You can refer to the parenting content in this book. If it is different from the book and the child's current performance, don't worry, consider the child's development comprehensively.
Every child is born like a blank sheet of paper. As for how parents describe it on this piece of white paper in the future, it is necessary to educate them according to some characteristics of their own development. You can't ask children's education to follow the board, because every child is very different. If the main education is proper and correct, the children will not take detours.
How to educate children correctly
As parents, they always want to give their children the best and hope that their children can grow into promising people, so they always spare no effort in education. But the wrong way of education often backfires.
Do not take drastic measures. Some parents think that "jade is not a tool" and "it is not easy for children to become talents without beating and cursing". Therefore, whenever a child makes a mistake, it is not a calm reason, but a slap in the face. Treating children rudely like this will not only make them realize their mistakes, but also leave a shadow in their hearts, and their personality will easily become extreme.
Set an example. Children can see what parents say and do. Their imitation ability is very strong, and empty preaching is far less influential than actual action. Isn't there such a public service advertisement? The mother washed his grandmother's feet, and the younger son saw it and learned to wash his mother's feet. Similarly, "fish begins to stink at the head", if the parents behave badly, it is hard to say that the educated children are not copies of failure. It can be seen that the words and deeds of adults are really important.
Adults should agree. Sometimes parents need to communicate, agree on the same thing and have a unified attitude. You are forbidden to gossip. You play the white face and I play the red face. Don't scold each other in front of the children. Otherwise, children often can't agree and don't know who to listen to. Over time, the status and prestige of adults in children's minds will disappear, and it will be more difficult to discipline children.
Don't stifle children's interest. Learning is important, but interest is the source of stimulating children's creativity. What society needs now is not a reading machine, but an all-round generalist. Therefore, if the child shows a certain hobby, don't interfere, but encourage him, maybe this will become a skill of the child.
What are the wrong educational concepts of parents? 2. Too many compliments.
Too much praise will cause a lot of constraints and burdens to children. When parents' expectations are not met, children are prone to frustration and guilt. If parents always boast that their children are "too smart", when the exam results are not ideal, the children will have deep self-blame and depression, and their self-esteem and self-confidence will be hit hard. Therefore, parents had better praise their children for something specific, such as "You did a good job today!" " "
Second, ask too many questions.
Many parents are eager to know more about their children and often keep asking, "Did the teacher ask you any questions today?" "How was the math exam?" "Who did you play with?" ..... Too many problems can only arouse children's antipathy and conflict, and will drop the reputation of "nuisance". The effective way is to walk into the children's world, play with them more and chat with them more, and you will inadvertently discover many children's secrets.
Third, there are too many orders.
"Do your homework!" "Turn off the TV!" ..... Too frequent commands can easily make children "turn a deaf ear". When children are often indifferent to such orders, parents should consider their credibility in the eyes of children.
Fourth, negative feelings.
This is a mistake that many parents easily make. When a child says, "Mom, I'm afraid that an injection hurts," parents often comfort him by saying, "Baby, it doesn't matter, it doesn't hurt." This will only make children feel wronged and afraid. The wiser thing to do should be: "Baby, mom knows that an injection hurts, but the illness can only be cured after the injection." Children will feel better when they realize that they are understood.
5. Scold and ridicule.
When children's test scores are not ideal, some parents will shout loudly: "Idiot! Wooden skull! " This practice will seriously hurt children's self-esteem. The correct way is to criticize people on the basis of facts.
Sixth, don't set an example.
Children fight with others outside, and parents' attitude of beating and cursing will cause strong dissatisfaction in their hearts. "Why do you still hit people if you don't let me?" In the eyes of children, parents have lost their prestige. Education should be a two-way process.
Seven, "You are a sister, let your sister." .
Many parents think that this can solve the disputes between children. Those who have been parents recall their childhood, as if they had been educated in this way since childhood, thinking that brothers and sisters should let go of their younger brothers and sisters, and even if they are dissatisfied, they can only endure it.
In fact, the key to solving children's disputes is not age, but "fairness" is the most important principle. Parents should change their perspective and let their children feel that they have the responsibility to take care of their younger brothers and sisters, instead of blindly making unprincipled concessions.
If parents educate their children in this tone for a long time, it will only make the older party bear a grudge against their siblings and gradually become a bad feeling between brothers and sisters; Siblings, on the other hand, rely on their own youth and take others for granted and will make mistakes in the future.
Eight, "This is my sister's toy, and my sister plays with her own."
Sometimes parents buy two identical toys to prevent children from competing for toys, so that children will not be jealous because others have their own. If there is a dispute between children over toys, parents will say to them, "This is my sister's toy, and my sister plays with her own." In fact, this teaching method is not a radical solution. Parents should share toys with each other, so that their children can understand the needs of others and get the happiness of sharing with others.
If parents often make their children realize that some things are their own and others', it is easy for them to establish the concept of "Chu River and Han boundary" and not understand the importance of sharing with each other, thus alienating the relationship between children.
Nine, "love who is good."
Parents shouldn't think that saying these things to their children can tame them. "Whoever is good will love to sleep" will instill in children the wrong idea that "love is conditional". Parents let their children feel that as long as they behave better and behave better, their parents will love you more. This mentality of the elders will unconsciously intensify the competition of children. In order to win the love of elders and cover up their true nature, they will please their elders in various ways. Some children with low self-confidence tend to think that the love of their elders is unreliable and feel inferior.
In the long run, children will try to please their elders, win their love and make them afraid to show their true selves. Even if a child lives in a family that should show sincerity, it is like wearing a mask and living under invisible pressure.
Ten, "Brother is alone, go and play with him."
This kind of imperative command will only disgust children. Imagine that children are doing their own things happily, but parents say that children will put down their own things and go to play with their younger brothers. Of course, children will be disappointed. Even if children play with their younger brothers, they are not necessarily sincere. On the contrary, older children will feel that their parents only care about other children's feelings and ignore themselves, which may deepen the gap between brothers and sisters invisibly.
If parents often ignore their children's feelings, it will only worsen the relationship between children and parents. If parents often let their children do things they don't want to do, they will have strong dissatisfaction with their children.
Xi。 "She is our domestic servant and we have the right to scold her."
No matter what happens, parents will say to their children, "She is just a nanny." This is very class-oriented. Let the child realize that she is a servant. We have the right to scold her if we hire her to work! This will make children don't know how to respect others, and they don't know the efforts that nannies make for their families. Imagine this situation. If your child makes a mistake at home, parents will blame the nanny for not taking good care of it, which will only make the child unable to get the education he deserves, and even unable to take responsibility under any circumstances in the future.
If parents only blame the nanny on the story of one child without knowing the truth, it is conniving at the children who made mistakes to repeat the same mistakes.
Twelve, "incredibly coquetry to me in front of my aunt? You will be punished if the guests leave! "
Relatives came from afar, children spoiled in front of others, and parents were angry at the moment and said such things. Generally speaking, in order to avoid embarrassing guests and themselves, parents are not allowed to scold their children immediately, and are prepared to wait until the guests leave. However, because parents and guests are laughing and laughing, they forget all about the punished children. However, if parents think that their children have made mistakes but don't punish them immediately, they will wait too long and even forget to punish them. If you want to achieve the effect of punishment and let the children correct their mistakes, you must deal with them immediately, otherwise the effect will be greatly reduced.
Rewards and punishments should be dealt with immediately in order to achieve practical results. Most children are forgetful. If they wait too long for punishment, they may have completely forgotten their mistakes, and the effect of punishment will be greatly reduced.
Thirteen, "What's the child's name? I asked the teacher to punish him! "
Parents are very sad to hear the news that their child has been bullied, and naturally want to protect him and stand up for him.
However, parents should know that when children talk about their own situation, they often want to get their parents' attention first. Parents should teach their children how to solve problems with a caring attitude, instead of looking for a teacher to take the lead immediately. If the problem is not too serious, parents should let their children learn how to deal with it. If children are encouraged to tell the teacher, the teacher will deal with it. Remember: learning to deal with problems is a stage that children must go through during their growth.
Because there are disputes between children from time to time, if children always come to their parents for help when they encounter problems, who dares to play with them? This will only make children more isolated.