Now many parents are lamenting that children are difficult to teach. In fact, if parents carefully observe and think, they will find that most of the problems are with us adults, not children. I am a middle school teacher and a parent. (My child is 13 years old this year, with a comprehensive development and excellent academic performance. ) Below, I will write down some ideas and methods in the process of educating children and discuss them with parents:

1. Get down.

This refers not only to the physical squatting posture, but also to the mental squatting posture. Sometimes, if your good advice is not accepted by children, ordinary parents will be furious. In fact, you should consider whether your suggestion is suitable for children. Let's think about it from the perspective of children. Ordinary mothers like shopping, but children don't necessarily like it. Why? If you squat down and have a look, you will find that what you see is a dazzling array of goods, and what he (she) sees is a dazzling array of legs. If you complain that he (she) is disobedient, is it reasonable? Therefore, when children are disobedient, it is best to think from another angle, so the effect of education may be better!

Walk over.

Why children don't want to communicate with adults is not only a generation gap problem, but more importantly, we adults always appear in a condescending posture and don't want to be their friends. Imagine that you put on an elder face all day and complain and blame in a lesson-like tone. How could he listen to you? My first sentence at the parent-teacher conference was: Please turn off your cell phone and listen carefully for two hours; If you can't last two hours, who are you to blame your children? You know, he (she) has to sit in the classroom for eight or nine hours every day. It is very difficult to just sit, let alone study, but which parent can understand the child's suffering?

My children and I are best friends. I never blame him. Of course, when there is a problem, I just help him analyze the reasons. So I have a good relationship with my child, and he is willing to tell me something he is interested in or worried about, and discuss with me some problems he doesn't understand at his age. This is certainly not enough. No matter how busy I am at work, I always take an evening or two out to exercise with him. Such as playing ball games, walking, etc.

3. Let go of your hand.

Nowadays, most children are only children, and it is an indisputable fact that they have poor self-care ability. How did it happen? Not because we adults. At home, you do everything for him What does he use to exercise his ability? But we often find an excuse for ourselves: as long as you study hard, you don't have to worry about other things. Here, we just ignore an important issue: living ability and learning ability, or they are mutually reinforcing. My children have been wearing their own clothes since they were three years old, and all the things in daily life are done by themselves. Up to now, he has done his own laundry, cooked his own meals (when we are on duty), cleaned his own room, packed his own school supplies, and so on. So his hands-on ability is very strong. To tell the truth, sometimes, as a father, I admire him very much. For example, his handicrafts are very distinctive and can be regarded as handicrafts. I collect them all, and I will take them out to enjoy them when he is not at home. Let me give another example: when my son was in the third grade, I didn't bring my exercise book to school once in the morning, and I didn't say anything. Therefore,

People with strong self-care ability are methodical people and people with distinctive thinking. These qualities are manifested in learning, and their potential is unimaginable. So I suggest that parents try to let go and let their children do their own things. This is good for children.

4. encourage more.

A person's healthy growth can never be separated from encouragement. I think both parents know this. The key is how to encourage, how to encourage, and when to encourage. These parents may not be very clear. There are several misunderstandings here: first, blindly emphasize material encouragement. A child can ask for anything if he does well in the exam, but he may get nothing if he doesn't. Second, improper encouragement. Some parents automatically think that advocating encouragement means the same encouragement no matter how well their children do. Finally, your encouragement may not be attractive to yourself. Third, you never encourage them. You think being strict can make children grow up better.

When I educate my children, I also use encouragement, but I never blindly. I always combine it with making demands. For example, if you do your homework better than last time, I will say, yes, you have worked hard for a while. But if the handwriting is neat, it may give a better impression. After a few days, his homework really changed. This shows that encouragement has played a role. As for material encouragement, I usually choose to buy him some school supplies. I'm in no hurry to buy these things for him first. When he has achieved certain results, I will say, I see many students in your class have * * *, do you want one? This turns encouragement into a natural thing. Let the child feel that you are encouraging him with material things. Otherwise, they will develop his utilitarian thoughts. For example, since the beginning of the first day of junior high school, many students in the children's class have bought Wenquxing. He came back and said he wanted one too. I said, do you know what Wenquxing does? He said, look up the words. I said that there are many things to look up words, such as dictionaries. The child has nothing to say. I know he wants to, but I'm not in a hurry, because I know that most of the students in their class play Wenquxing games. Later, I said, how about this: I'll lend you one, and you try it first. If you let me know that Wenquxing is more conducive to learning than other things, others will play games with Wenquxing, and his gameplay will be different. He put the learned words into Wenquxing in groups of 20, and took them out to test himself when he was free. Back a batch, and lost a batch. I said, well, the method is good, Wenquxing works, and I'll buy you a good one tomorrow.

5. Give freedom.

Generally speaking, free space is more conducive to the play of personal advantages. Dancing in chains is too strict for children. Children in the growth and development period, due to the gradual maturity of physical and psychological age, their self-awareness is also increasing. He needs more private space (especially the middle school students of 65,438+03-65,438+08) and more personal autonomy. Therefore, parents can't come one by one. Don't think that he can buy whatever he thinks and arrange it for him everywhere. We often see some parents eavesdropping on their children's phone calls, asking about their classmates and controlling the time and content of their children's study (for example, children go to see what they do from time to time at night). These behaviors, to a certain extent, are interference in children's privacy and disrespect for children, and the effect is often counterproductive. If it is serious, it may hurt the child's self-esteem and cause his rebellious psychology. At this point, I'm afraid it will be very troublesome to save it again.

I believe my child, he can prioritize and handle his own affairs correctly. I put a TV and a computer in his room. I told him that you should arrange your time flexibly, watch TV whenever you want, and surf the Internet whenever you want, but you should know what your main job is, and enough is enough. What was the result? Television has basically become a decoration, because he is busy doing his homework (arranged by the teacher and himself) and has no time at all. Sometimes, I just watch the news, watch the science fair and so on. What about the computer? He only plays for two hours on Saturday and Sunday mornings. There is no situation that some parents are worried about. This may be just an example, but to some extent, it reminds us that parents should give their children more respect. Should children be given more free space? Believe that freedom and respect mean responsibility. A responsible person has self-control, and so do children. Children from poor families take charge early, that's what I want to say. )

6. Be a student.

Being a good teacher is a common feature of people. Not only adults, but also children. In the past, we always looked at being a good teacher critically. In fact, everything has advantages and disadvantages. In our education of children, if we make better use of people's concept of a good teacher, the educational effect may even be unexpected.

When I educate a child, I often use his good teacher to turn him from something else into a learning situation. Sometimes when I see a child playing for a long time, but I can't criticize him directly, I call him over and say, I have a question (of course, he may know) that I don't understand. Can you tell me or check it for me? At this time, if the child knows, he will definitely tell me very seriously. He told me famous works such as A Dream of Red Mansions, Water Margin and Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and also told me about English, mathematics, physics and biology. Don't tell me, I asked him to do this to distract him, but in the end, I really got a lot of different inspirations from his explanation (really learning from each other), and the children also reviewed what they had learned (and more systematically) during the explanation, and their language expression ability was also exercised. During the winter and summer vacations, I will find some relatives' children to play at home and ask them to help me. People may not believe it (because of his good grades), but he is really like a teacher when he lectures, and he does well in all aspects (sometimes he loses his temper with his cousins). As a teacher, seeing in the eyes and enjoying in the heart. Of course, if he doesn't do well, I will talk to him alone and tell him what a teacher should do.

Therefore, there are many ways to improve children's learning enthusiasm. Sometimes it's really fun to lower your parents' status and be a student of your own children!

7. Cultivate the best with less resources.

If one word is used to sum up the living conditions of students, it is "tired". I think many parents feel this way. Usually they have five days of classes, make up lessons at school on Saturday, and train excellent students outside on Sunday. It doesn't matter if they are tired at all. Maybe some parents will say, everyone else does this, but if I don't, won't my children fall behind? The answer is: no. I am a teacher, I should say I know the situation here better. Let me explain why there is little training. First of all, we must understand what Peiyou is cultivating. Generally speaking, the content of cultivating excellent students is nothing more than two situations: one is to study in advance; The second is to strengthen training. Personally, I don't think these two situations are of substantial help to children's learning. Because of the content of advanced learning, their teachers will soon say in class that there is no need to spend money on learning. Some knowledge comes naturally with age. (Just like 1+ 1=2) Just because you studied ahead of time doesn't mean that you are really better than others, just know it earlier. As for training, it is just the repetition of simple labor, which is even more unnecessary. These tasks can be done by children at home without the help of others. Moreover, frequent training may lead to children's boredom with learning and reduce their enthusiasm for learning, so that they are not serious when studying at school. This is really not worth the loss. Secondly, those excellent teachers (whether they are responsible or not) don't know much about each student's situation, so they can't really be targeted. Moreover, some institutions aim at making money and don't care whether children will make progress. Therefore, I am not in favor of cultivating Excellence.

Then parents will ask: if you don't train excellent students, so much spare time is not wasted. My answer is: play! Let the children have fun, have fun. Playing is a child's nature. Don't think that playing is a bad thing. (Of course, it depends on whether parents have a purpose. My children have never attended gifted classes, but their academic performance is as good as others: the first place in the total score, the national Olympic gold medal in mathematics, the first prize in English province, and the first prize in science and technology (science, geography, etc. ), the first prize of China City (the highest prize) and so on. Others, such as sports, labor skills, music and art, all performed well. How did you do that? My solution is: let him play. Learn knowledge in games, develop abilities in games, and develop intelligence in games. For example, my son likes toy racing cars. I bought him three at a time, and he was still so busy disassembling and debugging! Later, he found some shortcomings in the design and modified those vehicles to make them run faster and save electricity. Can you say that these are not helpful for his future study?

So I said that the key to good grades lies in how you develop his intelligence and cultivate his interest, which is not necessarily excellent. You know, many excellent talents love to play when they are young. Our school is a key middle school. Judging from the students in my class, students who often participate in excellent training obviously lack stamina after entering high school. The biggest problem is their strong dependence and lack of exploration spirit. This situation cannot but arouse our attention as parents!

8. Pay attention to examples.

As the saying goes, the power of example is infinite. You don't have to look for so-called role models everywhere, you can be an example yourself. Words speak louder than words. Parents are children's first teachers, and your words and deeds have a subtle influence on children. If you are playing chess with friends, you can't expect your children to study hard at home; You are making drinks with your friend for a change. Don't accuse him of chatting online. Because you set a bad example for him. I often encounter such a situation in my home visits. In fact, everyone understands these reasons. The key is that parents lack perseverance to correct these behaviors that may have adverse effects on their children. Therefore, in order to make children progress, parents should first set an example. Educating children is a long-term systematic project. It's not just a question of asking him for something. Sometimes as parents, we have to make sacrifices and set an example for him with our own practical actions.

Still have to say it yourself. I am very busy at work and have little time to spend with my children. When I am free on Saturday and Sunday, I sit next to my children and read books and newspapers. Seeing me like this, the child unconsciously calmed down and began to do homework or read books. Over time, it will become a habit. For example, I spent a year reading the Encyclopedia of China with him (four volumes, each volume 1 10,000 words).

Some parents asked me what books my children should read. Generally speaking, you should be able to see anything useful. I cultivate children's reading habits, mainly in five steps: first, read some popular books, such as idiom stories, to improve reading interest; Second, read some famous Chinese and foreign books to make him have a certain literary accomplishment; Third, read more books on tourism, history and science and technology to further broaden your horizons and accumulate materials. Fourth, read some books on philosophy and humanities. Cultivate critical thinking ability and form a view of history. (You can go to see Zhuangzi is Lonely, which is the result of his thinking after reading Zhuangzi. It should be said that there is still a certain depth. ) Fifth, specialize in reading. For example, if you want to study Confucius, you should read The Analects carefully, constantly and repeatedly.