About the author:
Dale Carnegie (1 888165438+1October 24th-195565438+1October1), a famous American interpersonal master, is the father of American modern adult education.
Carnegie's world-renowned Weaknesses of Human Nature, Advantages of Human Nature, Glory of Human Nature, Beautiful Life, Happy Life, Great Man and Language Breakthrough, as well as Carnegie's master Dr. Arthur Pailes's Active Life to explain Carnegie's theory, and Carnegie's Mrs. Yao are not only teaching materials for Carnegie's adult education. Today, almost all countries in the world have his translations, and several works, such as The Weakness of Human Nature, The Advantages of Human Nature, and The Breakthrough of Language, have become the second best sellers in the history of human publishing after the Bible.
The first chapter is the basic skills of interpersonal relationship.
0 1? If you want to collect honey, don't disturb the hive.
Criticism is useless, it arouses resistance and makes people eager to defend themselves; Criticism is dangerous, it hurts self-esteem and even makes people hate it.
"1 principle
No criticism, no blame, no complaints. "
02 interpersonal skills
The world is so big that there is only one way to get others to serve you. -Let the other party do it willingly and spontaneously.
The deepest motivation in human nature is "the desire for attention".
"Principle 2
Sincerely thank others and praise others. "
03. Capable people walk the world, while mediocre people walk alone.
The only way to influence others in the world is to find out what they want and teach them how to get it.
"If there is a secret of success, it is to know the position of others and be able to take into account the position of yourself and others at the same time."
"The first way to persuade others is to arouse each other's strong desire. Capable people travel all over the world, and mediocre people walk alone. "
"Principle 3
Stimulate the needs of others. "
"summary
Basic skills of interpersonal relationship "
Principle 1 Don't criticize, blame or complain.
Principle 2: Sincerely thank and praise others.
Principle 3 Stimulate the needs of others
Chapter Two Six Skills of Winning the Love of Others
The popular mystery of 0 1
People who ignore their compatriots have the hardest life and the deepest harm to their surroundings. Surrounded by such individuals, the fate of mankind is like falling into a cold winter, and its vitality is difficult to recover.
"1 principle
Establish an interest in others and pay sincere attention to others. "
How to make a good first impression?
If you want others to be happy with you, you should be happy with them first.
People who can't smile need to smile most.
"Principle 2
Smile "
Remember his name.
"Principle 3
No matter who you are and what language you use, your name is the sweetest and most important word in the world. "
Do you want to talk?
Listening attentively is the highest compliment we can give others.
In front of a considerate and patient audience, even those who complain and criticize will gradually become kind. When the latter hisses like a king cobra and complains angrily, the former will always be gentle and silent.
"Principle 4
Listen carefully and encourage others to talk about themselves. "
How to arouse others' interest
Talking about what the other person cares most about is a shortcut to the other person's heart.
"Principle 5
Talk about other people's interests. "
Make everyone like you.
Do to others what you want them to do to you. "
"principle 6
Sincerely let the other person know how important he is. "
"summary
Six ways to win the love of others. "
Principle 1 Establish interest in others and pay sincere attention to others.
Principle 2 smile
Principle 3 No matter who you are and what language you use, your name is the sweetest and most important word in the world.
Principle 4 Listen attentively and encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle 5: Talk about what the other person is interested in.
Principle 6: Sincerely let the other party know how important you are.
Chapter III How to Make Others Think What You Think
The 0 1 argument will never win.
"Arguing, complaining and refuting may bring temporary victory, but you can never win the respect of the other side through this superficial victory."
"1 principle
There is only one way to win an argument, and that is to avoid it. "
How to avoid making enemies
"You can't teach others, the only thing you can do is to guide them to understand."
"Smarter than others, but don't tell them that."
Admitting that you may make mistakes doesn't mean you will get into trouble, but it will keep you away from disputes. Your open mind will infect each other, make them try to be as fair and inclusive as you, and even admit that they may be wrong.
"Principle 2
Respect other people's opinions and never say "you are wrong"
Confess one's mistake
When scolding is inevitable, it is better to admit your mistake first than to hear the words of the other party's attack-self-criticism is much better than being accused by others, isn't it?
It makes people proud to admit their mistakes. Admitting mistakes can not only reduce one's guilt and the other's defense, but also make up for the consequences caused by mistakes.
"Principle 3
If you are wrong, please admit it resolutely and decisively. "
A drop of honey
"A drop of honey attracts flies more than a gallon of bile."
"Principle 4
Communication began in Yu Youshan. "
Socrates' secret
When discussing with others, please emphasize the views you agree with first, and don't rush to clarify the differences. If possible, please let the other person know that your difference lies in the method rather than the purpose.
Try to let the other person say "yes" from the beginning, and don't give him a chance to say "no".
When you want to refute each other, please remember Socrates' strategy and gently throw a question-a question with a "yes" answer.
"Principle 5:
Let the other person nod and say "yes"
Safe methods for handling complaints
When the other person is eager to talk, he won't listen to anything you say. So please listen to them patiently and encourage them to come clean.
"principle 6
Let the other side lead the conversation. "
How to get cooperation
"Principle 7:
Follow the guidance and let the other party draw their own conclusions. "
Magic formula for creating miracles
Please remember that even if the other person is wrong, he won't admit it. A wise man replaces blame with understanding. Few people are willing to do this, which makes them stand out.
Everything happens for a reason. There is a reason behind any thought and action. Once the motive is found, the other person's temper is under control.
"Principle 8
Put aside prejudice and compare your heart. "
Considerate of others
"I don't blame you for thinking so. If I were you, I would feel exactly the same way. "
"Principle 9
Be considerate of other people's thoughts and wishes. "
No one will refuse such a request.
Assume that the other party is sincere, honest, trustworthy and willing to do their duty.
"principle 10
Inspire each other's deep noble sentiments. "
1 1 That's what movies and television do.
You can dramatically exaggerate your ideas at work and in life.
"principle 1 1:
Dramatize your thoughts. "
12 When it's useless, please use the killer.
"Competition produces efficiency. The competition here does not mean fame and fortune, but the desire to surpass others. "
Stimulate people's desire for victory and "feel important".
"principle 12:
Challenge method "
Summary: How to Make Others Think What You Think
There is only one way to win an argument, and that is to avoid it.
Principle 2 Respect other people's opinions and never say "You are wrong"
Principle 3 If you are wrong, please admit it firmly and decisively.
Principle 4 Communication begins in Yu Youshan.
Principle 5: Ask the other person to nod and say "Yes"
Principle 6: Let the other party lead the dialogue.
Principle 7: convince others and let them draw their own conclusions.
Principle 8: Put aside prejudice and take care of others.
Principle 9 Be considerate of other people's thoughts and wishes.
Principle 10 inspires noble sentiments in each other's hearts.
Principle 1 1 dramatize your thoughts.
Principle of 12 challenge method
Chapter 4 How to change others and become a leader
When 0 1 is wrong, please use this statement as an anesthetic in dental treatment. Although dental drills can still make patients feel uncomfortable, anesthetics can effectively relieve pain.
"1 principle:
Want to suppress first, first improve. "
How to criticize without offending public anger
The most effective way to correct others' mistakes is-
"Principle 2
Indirectly attract the attention of the other party. "
Admit your mistake first.
If others admit that they have many shortcomings before criticizing you, the criticism will be less harsh.
"Principle 3
Before criticizing each other, talk about your mistakes. "
No one likes to take orders from others.
Even with good intentions, bossy orders can be offensive.
Changing an order into a question not only sounds better, but also stimulates creativity. If the other party participates in the decision-making process, he is more willing to put it into practice.
"Principle 4
Replace orders with instructions. "
Save face for each other.
Even if you hold the truth in your hand and the other person makes a big mistake, please save face for the other person. Humiliating the other person has no benefit except destroying his self-esteem.
"I have no right to make any words and deeds that make the other person feel inferior. It doesn't matter what I think of him, what matters is what he thinks of himself. It is a sin to hurt others' self-esteem. "
Real leaders will:
"Principle 5
Save face for each other. "
How to motivate others to succeed?
If we minimize criticism and emphasize praise, people's good deeds will be consolidated and bad behaviors will gradually weaken because they are not taken seriously.
Although everyone is eager for recognition and recognition at all costs, no one needs hypocrisy and flattery.
"principle 6
Praise every progress of others, "sincerely praise, don't be stingy with praise"
Inspire others with fame.
If you want the other person to improve a certain ability, please pretend that he already has this quality.
If you want to successfully complete the arduous task of changing other people's behavior, please:
"Principle 7
Inspire others with reputation, and they will try to live up to your expectations. "
Encourage others to change.
If you tell your child, lover or employee that he is clumsy, has no talent and has no merit in something, you will destroy their motivation for progress; If you take the opposite approach, fully encourage him, point out that it is a piece of cake for him, and tell him that you have full confidence in his ability, or that he must have the potential to do it, then he will do his best for it.
If you want to help others make progress, please remember:
"Principle 8
Encourage the other person to change and make it sound easier to correct mistakes. "
Make the other person happy to do things for you.
If you want to change each other's attitude or behavior, leaders must keep in mind the following suggestions:
1. Seek truth from facts. Please don't promise what you can't do. Forget your own selfish interests and pay attention to each other's interests;
2. The purpose is clear. Know clearly what you want the other person to do;
3. Have empathy. Ask yourself what the other person really needs;
4. empathy. Think about what benefits the other person can get from doing things for you;
5. Exchange of interests. Find the combination of the above benefits and the needs of the other party;
Show your attitude. When making a request, explain to the other party how he benefits from it.
"Principle 9
Make the other person happy to do things for you. "
"summary
How to change others and become a leader "
Principle 1 want to suppress before promoting.
Principle 2 indirectly attracts each other's attention.
Principle 3 Before criticizing each other, talk about your own mistakes.
Principle 4 Replace orders with instructions.
Principle 5: save face for each other.
Principle 6 Praise others for their progress. "Praise them sincerely, don't be stingy with praise."
Principle 7 inspire others with reputation, and they will try to live up to your expectations.
Principle 8 encourages the other party to be brave in change and makes it sound easy to correct mistakes.
Principle 9: Make the other person happy to do things for you.
The fifth chapter miracle letter
Asking for each other's help can often work miracles.
Chapter VI Seven Laws of a Happy Family
0 1 Doing so is tantamount to digging your own marriage grave.
"1 principle
Stop nagging. "
Don't kidnap each other with love.
"The first lesson of marriage is to learn to respect each other's unique way of life. Of course, not interfering with each other does not mean giving up on yourself. "
"Principle 2
Don't try to change each other. "
Please don't blame each other.
"Principle 3
Please don't blame. "
Learn to appreciate
Don't be shy to let the other person know how important she is to you.
"Principle 4
Really appreciate each other. "
What is important in women's eyes?
Be considerate of the other half in daily life.
"Principle 5
See the truth for details. "
Don't ignore this.
No matter how close you are, don't neglect modesty and politeness.
"principle 6
Modest and polite. "
Don't be "marriage blind"
"Principle 7
Read a good book about sex in marriage. "
"summary
Seven rules of a happy family life "
Principle 1 Stop nagging.
Rule number two: Don't try to change each other.
Principle 3: Don't blame.
Principle 4: Sincerely appreciate each other.
Principle 5: See the truth for details.
Principle 6 Modesty and courtesy
Principle 7 read a good book that analyzes sex in marriage.
A shortcut to stand out from the crowd
Talking is a shortcut to stand out. People who master this ability stand out from the crowd like standing in the spotlight.