Children become selfish.
Spoiled children, surrounded by their parents' doting for a long time, simply don't know how to think of others, don't care about others, don't consider problems from the perspective of others, are self-centered and selfish. Some people may say that this society should be selfish, so that it will not suffer. It's really all wet. Selfishness may have temporary benefits, but selfish people will fail in their careers sooner or later, and so will love life. Therefore, children can not study well enough or be smart enough, but they must not be too selfish, otherwise the consequences will be unimaginable in the future.
The child is arrogant and perverse.
The direct consequence of children being spoiled is arrogance. Because parents make all concessions and meet all their demands, including many unreasonable demands, they have developed the idea that he is the boss in their bones. Parents should listen to him, dare to ride on their parents' heads to talk and do things, don't know how to make concessions, don't know how to tolerate, and can't stand grievances. They are arrogant, perverse and bossy.
The children are lazy and undisciplined
In the eyes of parents, he is the boss and no one can control him. Besides, he has parents to do things for him, and he doesn't want to do anything. He is getting lazier and lazier, and doing something occasionally is sloppy and disorganized. In his eyes, he is discipline. He may not listen to others, but others must listen to him. It is bound to be difficult to gain a foothold in society in the future.
Children have no manners and procedures have no elders.
Due to the overindulgence of parents, some bad behaviors and impolite behaviors of children have not been stopped. Children don't know what etiquette is at all, and they are arrogant and outspoken, and even have no basic etiquette, because they don't know what etiquette is at all.
The child is weak and can't stand difficulties.
Living under the care and spoil of my parents for a long time, I didn't know what difficulties were since I was a child, because my parents were in charge of everything. Once you encounter difficulties, you will be at a loss, and your personality will become weak. You can't do great things at all, and you can't stand any small difficulties, just like flowers in a greenhouse. Once I open the greenhouse, I will be destroyed by the storm.
Children's interpersonal disorder
Because of selfishness, everything is self-centered, arbitrary, arrogant, naturally unable to live in harmony with people, and communication with people has become an obstacle. Interpersonal relationship is an interactive and mutually beneficial communication, and spoiled children always think that they are the emperor's boss, refuse to wronged themselves, refuse to think of others, and act from an unequal perspective. Naturally, no one wants to associate with him, and his interpersonal relationship will inevitably be in a mess and will inevitably become lonely.
The child is in poor health.
One of the most direct consequences of children being overindulged may be damage to the body, either being too picky about food and malnutrition or being willfully overeating and obese, both of which are enemies of health; Because of laziness, I can't exercise, so my health is getting worse and worse. I have been sick since I was a child, which will have an impact on the rest of my life.
How do parents avoid doting on their children?
Parents are the first teachers of the children. Once parents spoil and indulge their children, put them in a higher position than their parents and do everything for them, children will become dependent and self-reliant. Such children are often weak and don't think too much about other people's feelings. This is why some children will take some extreme measures when their demands are not answered. In children's minds, their demands are orders, and parents never refuse. There is nothing in the child's subconscious. Is there anything you can't get? This idea. The children in the news may be a habit formed under the blind compromise of their parents, which has to be said to be improper education of their parents! Let's see how to prevent doting on children!
1, no special treatment
If you always take special care of your child and keep everything good for him, it will make him feel superior at home, so that he will feel special and used to being above others, and will inevitably become selfish, unsympathetic and uncaring for others.
2. Don't pay too much attention to children
Many families are used to taking children as the center, and everything in the family is arranged around children. When relatives and friends visit, they often play around the children. If you pay too much attention to your children, they will easily become proud. So he will feel that he is the center of the family and everyone likes him.
Don't satisfy your children easily, let alone be responsive.
Careful consideration should be given to the requirements of children, and children should not be given whatever they want. Some parents are always afraid of their children crying, so children who are obedient and easy to satisfy their children will inevitably develop a bad character of not cherishing things, paying attention to material life, wasting money, not caring about others, and having no patience and suffering spirit. The children in the news are such a living example.
4. No need to arrange it.
Many parents worry that their children can't do things well, so they do everything instead of their children. As a result, their parents have to feed and dress their children when they are three or four years old, and they can't even do simple housework when they are five or six years old. In this way, children will not become hardworking, kind, unsympathetic and self-motivated.
5. Don't protect children too much.
In fact, children are not born timid, and parents often worry too much about their children, which leads to their less and less courage. If parents are less worried and more encouraged while ensuring their children's safety, and don't make a fuss after wrestling, but let the children get up by themselves, the children will not become timid.
6. Don't deprive independence.
Children will not be allowed to go out to play with other children without their parents. Parents become very nervous as soon as their children leave their sight. Children living in this environment will be deprived of their independence. In the long run, children will become worried about incompetence and lose confidence.
7. Don't protect children in person.
Many times, children have disputes with other children outside, and there are always parents who favor and protect their children, regardless of whether the children are wrong or not. In some families, when children are punished, grandparents always come out to put in a good word for them. After a long time, the child takes the unruly person at home as his own? Umbrella? In this way, it not only distorts children's personality, confuses the concept of right and wrong, but even affects family harmony.
If parents can achieve the above seven points, then the love for children can be far away from doting and let children grow up healthily.
Expert opinions/suggestions
For the children? Love? Instead of? Drowning? . Every parent wants to have a successful child. However, all things are done by parents, and even children are responsive. Too much doting on children is not good for their growth and future, let alone adapting to society. The child is right, try to respect her opinion; Don't talk about children's unreasonable demands, tell them that no matter how much she asks, it is impossible and must be done. Persistence in this way will help the baby to establish such boundaries and differences between what can and cannot be done. The most important thing is firm and gentle persistence. If you give up halfway, it will be counterproductive.
Feng Dequan, an internationally registered senior psychological counselor, said: "Small defects in behavior may lead to huge defects in personality-there is only one kind of good and thousands of bad; There is only one kind of right and 10 million kinds of wrong. If parents don't give their children correct feedback on values and causality, and don't correct their children's minor problems in time, it is likely that children will misinterpret the world in which they live, causing great conflicts and waste. Crying is an effective way for children to seize life resources-the truth behind children's tears is often that crying can gain more benefits, and children enjoy and are familiar with crying as a means to seize life resources. Therefore, parents' education methods should be appropriate.
My opinion: Yes, but it's really the parents' fault! A newborn child is like a blank sheet of paper, all white and pure. Parental education is like a pen writing on paper, and the content of the pen determines the nature and direction of the paper. If parents educate their children in the right way, they will not obey their requirements, nor will they spoil their children on the grounds of taking care of them, so that they can grow up in a healthy family environment. Parents' rational and correct education is not only their own responsibility to children, but also their own responsibility to parents, and even more to society!