Psychological laws in family education

Parents should know the psychological laws. Family education is actually an "exploratory" art. If the work can't be done in children's hearts, the educational effect will often appear pale and powerless. ?

Therefore, every mother should try her best to explore the positive or negative effects of some "psychological laws" in the process of educating her children, and give full play to their role of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages, so as to scientifically guide their children to become their ideal dragons and phoenixes!

The first law of psychology: Rosenthal effect?

Rosenthal, a famous American psychologist, once did such an experiment:

He randomly divided a group of mice into group A and group B, and told the breeder of group A that the mice were very clever. At the same time, he told the breeder of group B that the mice in his group had average intelligence. A few months later, the professor tested two groups of mice crossing the maze, and found that the mice in group A were indeed smarter than those in group B. They could get out of the maze first and find food.

So Professor Rosenthal was inspired. He wants to know whether this effect will also happen to people. He came to an ordinary middle school, walked casually in a class, and then circled several names on the student list.

Words, tell their teachers that these students have high IQ and are very smart. After a while, the professor came to this middle school again, and the miracle happened again. Are the students he selected really the cleverest in the class now? Who? ?

Why is this happening? It is the magic of "hint" at work.

Everyone will accept psychological hints in one way or another in life, some of which are positive and some are negative. Mother is the child's favorite, most trusted and most dependent person, and also the person who gives psychological hints. Like what?

If it is a long-term negative and bad psychological suggestion, it will affect the child's mood and even seriously affect the child's mental health. On the contrary, if the mother has high hopes and positive affirmation for her children, through expectant eyes and praise?

Smiles and inspiring words can nourish children's hearts and make them more self-respecting, self-loving, confident and self-reliant. Then, how high your expectations are, how much your children will achieve in the future! ?

Psychological Law 2: Over-limit Effect?

Mark, a famous American writer? Twain once listened to a priest's speech in church. At first, he felt that the pastor spoke very well and made people move, so he prepared to donate money. 10 minutes later, the priest hasn't finished. He was a little impatient and decided. Donate some change. After another 10 minute, the priest hasn't finished yet and decided not to donate 1 minute. When the priest finally finished his long speech and began to raise money, mark? Because of anger, not only did Twain not donate money, but who did he borrow money from? 2 yuan's money was stolen from the plate.

This psychological phenomenon caused by too much stimulation, too strong stimulation and too long action time is called "overrun effect".

Overlimit effect often appears in family education. For example, if a child makes a mistake, parents will repeatedly criticize the same thing once, twice, three times or even four or five times, which will make the child from guilt to impatience and even disgust. If you are "forced", you will have the rebellious psychology and behavior of "I insist on this". ?

It can be seen that mothers should not criticize their children too much, but should "make a mistake and criticize only once". If you have to criticize again, don't simply repeat it. We should put it another way. In this way, children will not feel that the same mistake has been "caught", and boredom and rebellious psychology will be reduced.

Law of Psychology 3: Desi Effect

Psychologist Desi once said such a fable:

There are a group of children frolicking in front of an old man's house, screaming all over the sky. A few days passed, and the old man couldn't bear it. So he came out to give each child 10 cents and said to them, "You have made this place very lively, and I feel much younger." I am grateful for this little money. " The children were very happy and came the next day, playing as usual. The old man came out again and gave each child 5 cents. How about five cents? Is the child still in high spirits? It's gone. On the third day, the old man only gave each child 2 cents, and the children flew into a rage. "Only 2 cents a day, do you know how hard we work!" They swore to the old man that they would never play for him again!

In this fable, the old man's method is simple. He changed the children's intrinsic motivation of "playing for their own happiness" into the external motivation of "playing for a penny". He manipulated the external factors of a penny, so he also manipulated the children's behavior.

Desi effect appears from time to time in life. For example, parents often say to their children, "If you score 100 this time, you will be rewarded with 100 yuan" and "If you get into the top five, you will be rewarded with a new toy" and so on. Parents may not have thought that it is this improper reward mechanism that reduces children's interest in learning little by little. ?

In learning, parents should guide their children to set up lofty ideals, enhance their emotions and interests in learning, increase the motivation of learning itself, and help children reap the fun of learning. Parents' rewards can be things that are helpful for learning, such as books and learning tools, while some rewards that have nothing to do with learning are best not.

Psychological Law 4: South Wind Effect

The south wind effect, also known as the "warm" effect, originated from the French writer La? A fable written by Feng Dan:

The north wind and the south wind are worse. Let's see who can take off the coat of pedestrians. The north wind came first with a cold wind, biting cold. As a result, pedestrians wrapped their coats tightly to resist the invasion of the north wind. The south wind blows slowly, and the sun shines suddenly. Pedestrians feel that spring warms their upper body, so they unbutton their buttons first and then take off their coats. Nanfeng won. ?

The reason why the south wind can achieve the purpose in the story is that it meets people's internal needs. This psychological reaction to stimulate self-reflection and meet self-needs is the "South Wind Effect".

Therefore, it is not appropriate to adopt "north wind" education methods such as "stick" and "intimidation" in family education. Only by carrying out warm education, giving more praise with "human touch" and cultivating children's self-awareness can we get twice the result with half the effort.

The fifth law of psychology: barrel effect

The "wooden barrel" effect means that the water in a wooden barrel with uneven bottle mouth is not the longest wooden board on the barrel, but the shortest wooden board on the barrel.

Children's comprehensive academic performance is like a vat, and each academic performance is an indispensable plank that constitutes this vat. The stable formation of children's good academic performance cannot rely on the results of certain subjects. Outstanding, but it depends on its overall situation, especially on some of its weak links. Therefore, when children are found to be lacking in certain subjects, they should be reminded to spend more time on this subject in time? Sometimes, we should learn from each other's strengths.

Psychological laws in family education

Law of Psychology 6: Hawthorne Effect

Hawthorne Factory in the suburb of Chicago, USA, is a factory that manufactures telephone exchanges. It has perfect recreational facilities, medical care system and pension system, but the workers are still aggrieved and the production situation is not ideal. Later, what about the heart? Scientific experts specially conducted an experiment on it, that is, in two years, experts had more than 20,000 individual conversations with workers, stipulating that workers should patiently listen to their opinions and dissatisfaction with the factory during the conversation. This dialogue experiment? Received unexpected results: the output value of Hawthorne factory has been greatly improved. ?

In the process of learning and growing up, children will inevitably have confusion or dissatisfaction, but they can't fully express it. As mothers, we should try our best to find time to have a heart-to-heart talk with our children, and in the process of talking, we should patiently guide our children to speak freely, express their confusion in life and study, and express their dissatisfaction with their parents, schools, teachers and classmates.

After "talking", children will have a sense of satisfaction and feel relaxed and comfortable. In this way, they will work harder in their studies and be more confident in their lives!

Psychological law 7: increase and decrease effect

The "increase and decrease effect" in interpersonal communication means that everyone wants the other person to "increase" their goodwill rather than "decrease". For example, many salespeople have grasped this psychology. When weighing goods for customers, we always grab a small pile and add them bit by bit, instead of grabbing a large pile and taking them out bit by bit.

When we evaluate children, we will inevitably tell them all their shortcomings and advantages, and often adopt the method of "praise first and then criticize". In fact, this is a very unsatisfactory evaluation method. When evaluating children, we might as well use the "increase or decrease effect", for example, first talk about some small problems that don't hurt children's dignity, and then give appropriate praise?

Law 8 of Psychology: Butterfly Effect

According to research, the weak airflow caused by a butterfly flapping its wings occasionally in the southern hemisphere will turn into a tornado sweeping Texas in a few weeks due to the mixture of other factors! Disorder scientists put this gift? Elephants are called "butterfly effect", which theoretically means that a small cause can develop into an extremely huge and complex influence after a certain period of time and the participation of other factors. ?

The "butterfly effect" tells us that educating children is not a trivial matter. The expression of a word, the handling of a thing, and the correctness and appropriateness may affect the child's life; Errors and arbitrariness may delay a child's life.

Law of Psychology 9: Label Effect

During World War II, the United States was short of soldiers, and the war really needed a group of soldiers. Therefore, the American government decided to organize prisoners in prisons to fight in the front. To this end, the American government sent several psychologists to train and mobilize prisoners before the war and went to the front to fight with them.

During the training, psychologists did not preach to them too much, but emphasized that prisoners should write a letter to their closest relatives every week. The content of the letter was drawn up by psychologists and described the prisoner's performance in prison. How to get better, how to turn over a new leaf and so on. The experts asked the prisoners to copy carefully and send them to their dearest people. Three months later, the prisoners went to the front, and the experts asked the prisoners to write letters to their relatives, telling them how to obey orders and how to be brave. As a result, the performance of these prisoners on the battlefield is no less than that of the regular army. As they said in the letter, they obeyed orders and fought bravely in the battle. Later, psychologists put? This phenomenon is called "label effect", which is also called suggestion effect in psychology. ?

This psychological law plays an extremely important role in family education. For example, if we always yell "idiot", "pig head", "how can you be so stupid" and "can't even do such a simple topic" to our children for a long time, our children may really become what we call "idiots".

Therefore, mothers must abstain from ridicule and humiliation, from complaining, from threats and intimidation, and label their children positively with more inspiring language. ?

Law of Psychology 10: Foot-in-Door Effect

A phenomenon often occurs in daily life: when you ask for help from others, if you ask for higher requirements from the beginning, it is easy to be rejected; However, if you make a smaller request first and then increase the weight of the request after others agree, your goal will be easier to achieve. This phenomenon is called "foot-in-door effect" by psychologists.

In family education, we can also use the "foot-in-the-door effect". For example, first put forward lower requirements for children, and then affirm, praise or even reward them after they have done as required, and then gradually raise the requirements so that children are willing to make endless efforts.

?