Why did relatives criticize Dai Xiao after his death?
It is said that when human ancestors still had tails, the old man lived to be fifty years old, and his tail gradually turned yellow and finally fell off and died. When children and grandchildren find that the old man's tail is yellow, they will kill the old man before it falls, and the family will cook around. This is called filial piety.
Later, an old man lived to be sixty years old, and his tail was so yellow that it was about to fall off. His children and grandchildren talked about it one after another: "Grandpa's tail is so yellow that it will fall off. We are going to have meat to eat. " The old man was very angry and thought, I have raised all my children and grandchildren. When I am strong, you respect me. Now when I am old, you will kill me and eat me. What is the reason? But on second thought, I have eaten the meat of my ancestors before. It was really bad luck, so I had to sneak into a cave in the mountains. Besides, his children and grandchildren suddenly disappeared from the old man's side, and they were in a hurry. They looked for him separately at once. Looking for it for several days, I always disappeared, so I had to take a sack into the mountain. The sack is both a table and a quilt, and it can shelter me from the wind and rain, so I can continue to look for the old man. They searched and searched. On the seventh day, they found the old man in a cave in the deep mountain, but he was dead, and his body began to rot and stink. He couldn't smell it or lift it. Only his eyes are still open, and he is dead. Everyone I met was scared out of her wits, some were scared to lie on the ground, some were busy covering their heads with sacks and crying loudly. Relatives and village neighbors also heard the news and covered their faces and noses with headscarves, accompanied by crying. Finally, a wooden box was made. My son put the old man's body in the box. Everyone grabbed a handful of soil and buried the old man in the mountains. At this time, children, grandchildren, relatives, and neighbors were heartbroken, and they covered their faces with sacks and headscarves and went home crying. Some of them cried that the old man died miserably, while others cried that there was no meat to eat. Since then, people have gradually got rid of the bad habit of eating old people. The old man died in the same way and was buried in a coffin. Children and grandchildren wear Pima Dai Xiao, and relatives wear headscarves at the funeral of the deceased. On the seventh day after death, the grave will be called to bring the soul home. This funeral ceremony has become a custom, which has been passed down to this day.
Pima Dai Xiao relates to the mourning system in the traditional culture of China. During the Three Kingdoms, the Jin Dynasty and the Southern and Northern Dynasties, the five-clothing system was established for the first time, and five different mourning clothes were stipulated according to the distance between relatives and friends. The mourning system can be divided into three categories, namely, withering, Cui Zi, Dagong, Hong Xiao and refusing horses. The length of the mourning period, the thickness of the mourning clothes and the production are all different. According to the regulations, the closer the blood relationship, the heavier the service; The thinner the blood relationship, the lighter the service. At funerals, China people are forbidden to wear gorgeous clothes, and their families will wear filial piety, which is called "filial piety". The colors of mourning are white, black, blue and green. The son, daughter-in-law and daughter have the closest relationship, so they should wear cotton white underwear. Dai Xiao wore a mourning dress at the top of his sleeve. If the deceased is male, wear it on the left sleeve, and the female wears it on the right sleeve.
How long is the mourning period?
China has different customs; One year in some places and three years in others. The shortest three months in northern Jiangsu. According to the ancient saying, Zhang Xiao should need three years.
Under normal circumstances, after death, Dai Xiao's Dai Xiao period is generally 49 days, and the spirit tablet can be burned with the clothes and utensils of the deceased on 100 day after death. After that, the memorial tablet of the deceased was placed in the ancestral shrine, and the family resumed their normal life and customs. During mourning, no marriage, no singing and dancing, no shaving for men, no dressing for women, no drinking and boxing, and no Dai Xiao entering other houses.
Can I have sex while I'm in Dai Xiao?
No, "Disciples' Rules" says: After three years of mourning, you often grieve, your status changes, and wine and meat are wasted. It is to tell people to remember their lost relatives, even to cut off their appetite for drinking and eating meat, let alone their sexual desire. There are many disasters in the world now, that is, people indulge themselves too much. It is beneficial to learn from the moral education of the ancients. Some people think this is superstition. To say the least, superstitious or not, you felt this way right after your parents died. The problem is that I have seen many people have sex during mourning and have some strange diseases. Although the western society whitewashes sex, the ancient sages in China think that sex is an unclean behavior, or at least it should be an act of enjoyment! The ghost of an old friend is still floating in the air, and you are having fun under his nose. I don't blame you!
Can I burn incense in the temple during my stay in Dai Xiao?
Every time is a good day, every day is a good day. Everyone is a good person, and everything is good. This is what the Buddha said. His old man's house has nothing to be afraid of. What else are you afraid of? Filial piety comes first, so go.
What should we pay attention to when paying homage to the deceased?
1. Avoid unclean people to participate in worship: unclean women, pregnant women, lying-in women, women in confinement, babies who have not shaved their hair, Dai Xiao, people who don't wash their hands when urinating, and people who avoid sexual intercourse are not allowed to participate in worship.
2. Don't point your fingers at the gods when offering sacrifices: fingers refer to contemptuous things. If you point your finger at the gods, it is just like pointing at the tip of their noses, which is a crime of disrespect to the gods.
3. Avoid touching idols with your fingers: idols are symbols of the aura of gods, and idols are just like gods. People can no longer point fingers at the gods, let alone touch them with their fingers. This is a crime of disrespect.
4. Don't wash your hands and don't touch the instruments on the tablet: If you don't wash your hands, it means that you are not clean and you are not religious enough. You can't touch the instruments on the tablet. The so-called "utensils" refer to incense burners, candlesticks, vases, teacups, cups and other things placed on family shrines.
5. Don't let people cross the paper money, or the utensils for burning paper money: folklore crosses the gold and silver paper burned by others, which is very disrespectful to gods and good brothers. If you cross it, you may be in danger of disaster.
Why do people burn "seven" when they are dead? Does "seven" mean anything?
From the date of the death of the deceased, the funeral home will be held once every seven days, a total of seven times, commonly known as "burning seven." Generally speaking, "March 7" and "May 7" are more important, and relatives and friends should also send some paper and candles. There is also a ceremony of "exorcising evil spirits" (also known as "returning disasters"). According to the old custom, the soul still exists after death. 7749 days ago, the ghost of the deceased wanted to go home once, and the time was calculated by the Taoist priest. At that time, the funeral home will arrange incense and wine, and lay a layer of charcoal ash or plant ash on the floor to test the footprints of the deceased. With a bamboo pole and a sticker on each foot, stand on the doorstep or insert it under the eaves of dead people. It is said that ghosts will enter the house when they see this. Put a boiled egg in the clay pot in the corner of the house to bribe the disaster god (commonly known as chicken feet) and let the ghost of the deceased stay at home for a while. At this time, the whole family is in the distance. After the specified time, throw a string of firecrackers into the house first, and then you can enter the house after the explosion. On centennial and anniversary days, paper will be burned to pay homage. Half a year or a year after death, do another Dojo for the deceased.
Confucius said three words about how to honor parents. For parents, "making a polite noise, dying politely and sacrificing politely is filial piety". In fact, parents should be treated with courtesy before their death, buried according to etiquette after their death, and it is enough to commemorate family sacrifices on the anniversary. The above-mentioned traditional funeral dress customs have been simplified a lot in Fuzhou. It is good to simplify the reform, but it is not a bad thing to let future generations know the old customs from the traditional funeral dress culture.