1, when the child doesn't want to sleep
Let's put it this way: it's 10 minutes before bed. Do you want to wash or tell a story first?
-giving facts and selective supervision.
Don't say this: don't go back to your room, it's so late, stop playing and hurry up! I've told you several times!
Children's voice: Mom and Dad, I don't want to sleep if I'm not sleepy. Maybe I want to watch TV, maybe I want to do something interesting. I don't know what time it is. As long as you set a sleeping time for me to follow, you also set my body's biological clock, and I gradually formed the habit of sleeping on time. You tell me like this, I will choose what I like and go to bed naturally. However, I may be an exception when I am sick.
2. When a child is loitering.
Let's put it this way: we leave in five minutes. Do you want to get dressed now or take your clothes? What bag do you want to take?
-giving facts and selective supervision.
Don't say that: are you still fooling around there? We're going to be late. Come on, you hear me?
Children's voice: Mom and Dad, I didn't realize that I was fooling around, especially when playing with my favorite toys. I have no concept of time. If you say so to me, I will make a choice according to your urging.
3. When the child says "No"
Say this: well, you can say "no", but I need to hear your reasons for saying "no" so that I can understand you. All right, go ahead.
-Respect and positive guidance
Don't say this: What do children know? Why are you so stubborn? I am very kind to you.
Child's voice: Mom and Dad, when I said "no", I was trying to be independent and wanted to prove that I was growing up. Maybe, I just can't stand your teaching. Perhaps, when you said this to me, I was learning not to be afraid of others and to express my true thoughts bravely.
4. When a child accidentally breaks something.
Say this: Never mind. With this experience, it won't break down in the future. Everyone makes mistakes, so do I. Let's try to correct it.
-show understanding, arouse thinking, and try to remedy.
Don't say that: look at you, son, you have broken such an expensive thing. Can I buy it for you next time?
-Complaints and accusations
Child's voice: Mom and Dad, when I broke something, I was very nervous and scared. When you say this to me, I will feel that you really understand me, and I will pay attention to it later.
5. When children don't want to talk to us.
Let's put it this way: son, mom feels that you have something on your mind today. Can I help you? Talk to mom and you'll feel better. Can you understand that I am worried about you?
-Provide help, ease emotions and use empathy.
Don't say that: I'm talking to you! What's the matter? How can you ignore people?
-Ironic and stressful questions
Child's voice: Mom and Dad, actually I have nothing on my mind. Sometimes I want to be alone. Perhaps, I am thinking about the secret in my heart. Maybe, I'm thinking about what I think is important. When you say this to me, I realize that you care about me, and I may tell you what's on my mind.
6. When children don't let others play.
Let me put it this way: think about it. You play for 5 minutes, then give him 10 minutes, or give him 5 minutes, then you play 10 minutes, or give him another toy to play with?
Don't say that: you should learn to share. Let him play for a while.
-sermon
Children's voice: Mom and Dad, I like my toys very much, and I really don't want others to play with them. I'm afraid he broke it. When you say that to me, I may let him call, and I may give him another one.
7. When children cry to achieve their goals.
Say this: don't cry, let's see what to do together. Be quiet. What do you want to say to me? ……
-Skills of guiding language expression.
Don't talk about this: cry, cry, and you will know that crying is useful. How can I have a child like you?
-Impatience, preaching
Child's voice: Mom and Dad, crying is a useful weapon for me. I used it very successfully before, and I want whatever I want. So, I will try your reaction by crying; Perhaps, crying is my instinctive expression, and I haven't learned how to talk to adults. When you say this to me, you are patiently teaching me a new method.