Good parents teach their children to do only three things. There are three ways for parents to treat their children: one is to take care of everything and do a lot of things all the time, but the effect is not good; Second, doing nothing, doing nothing, the result is even worse. Third, it is also a tube, but not a full tube. Not much has been done, but they are all to the point, and the children's growth is also very smooth. Obviously, "doing everything" and "doing nothing" are too extreme, biased and undesirable. Excellent parents always choose to "do something and not do something", more specifically, only do three things. ◤ The first thing: cultivate a good parent-child relationship ◢ A good relationship is better than many educations. When parents have a good relationship with their children, the education of their children will be easy to succeed; When the relationship with children is not good, the education of children is easy to fail. The key to establishing a good parent-child relationship lies in "orientation": ◆ 1, instead of being a "judge", learn to be a "lawyer". Some parents can't wait to be "judges" as soon as they see that their children have problems, which is very dangerous. Children's inner world is rich and colorful, and parents should actively influence and educate their children. Without understanding their inner world, there is no way to talk about it. The first key to understanding children is to care about their self-esteem, safeguard their rights and become their trusted and respected friends. That is, parents should treat their children like "lawyers", understand their inner needs, and always take safeguarding their legitimate rights and interests as their sole purpose. ◆2, improper "referee", learn to be a "cheerleader" in the arena of life, children can only rely on their own efforts. Parents can neither replace their children, nor should they be "referees" themselves. Instead, they should give their children a strength to maintain a good competitive state, which is the strength of cheerleading. This can help children build self-confidence, which is the core task of family education. Parents should be the "cheerleaders" of their children, not only be good at discovering and praising their children, but also guide them to face failure correctly and be their comrades-in-arms before setbacks. ◆3. Children who are not "animal trainers" and learn to be "mirrors" can only overcome themselves if they know themselves, but usually they can only know themselves according to other people's feedback. At this time, the "feedback" role of parents, that is, the role of mirrors, is very important. Learn to be a "mirror" instead of an "animal trainer". Only in this way can children improve their self-awareness and communicate with their parents instead of being afraid of their "authority". Education is divided into three parts and seven parts. "Wait a minute" is very useful. For example, if we are bitten by mosquitoes, we will get well soon, but if we always scratch, it will take a long time to get well. The reason is that the human body has a certain self-healing function. Being bitten by mosquitoes will soon get better, and applying external force will only be counterproductive. The same is true of education. Stop, wait, give the child a chance to speak, communicate effectively with the child, and solve the problem without education. ◤ The second thing: Cultivate children's good habits ◢ Habits determine children's fate, and nothing is more important than habit formation. If parents don't pay attention to cultivate their children's good habits, they are undoubtedly ruining their children's bright future. ◆ 1, everything starts with habit cultivation, and education is lifelong education. Intellectual education is a good habit of thinking, moral education is a small habit of behavior, and quality education is more reflected in people's small behaviors. A large number of facts have proved that habit is a tenacious force that can dominate a person's life. Everything about children begins with the cultivation of habits. ◆2. Habits are not built in a day. Habit is a big problem and great wisdom. The formation of good habits is not a day's work. Its main principles are: low starting point, strict requirements, small steps, fast pace, more activities, change, quick feedback and diligent reform. The key to habit formation is decided in the first three days and one month. Parents should fully respect their children's rights and let them play the role of masters in habit formation. Cultivating character education through habit is like sailing on the sea. You must follow the correct route, otherwise, the bigger the ship, the greater the risk of hitting the rocks and sinking. People's quality determines the development direction of people. One of the core tasks of family education is to train children to become real people. However, the cultivation of personality is usually difficult to implement in specific operations. However, the researchers found that habit and personality are complementary, habit affects personality, and personality affects habit more. Decent, honest, responsible, caring, cooperative spirit, efficiency and other qualities can be cast through habit cultivation. ◤ The third thing: guiding children to learn to learn ◢ Attracting children to love learning and guiding children to learn to learn is an important responsibility of parents, and it is also the real charm of parents. ◆ 1, children are tired of learning for a reason, just let nature take its course and be chic; If you don't care, you will get beans; Nagging and cursing, beating and swearing at will; Don't arrange things, but create "machines" ... If parents take this unwise approach, they will only make their children less and less fond of learning. Children's dislike of learning is only a superficial phenomenon, and there must be a reason behind it: haven't they developed good study habits? Don't you see the best in your child? Don't you use your brain scientifically? Are parents hindering their children's nature of "playing middle school"? But children don't realize that learning is their own business ... finding the reasons behind it can help children get out of the shadow of being tired of learning. ◆2. Children's curiosity and learning potential can stimulate children's lack of curiosity. Usually it is not the influence of parents or the lack of strict requirements, but the children's interest is blocked. Interest (curiosity), dreams, sense of accomplishment, questioning, gratitude, enthusiasm and anger are all channels to dredge and stimulate children's thirst for knowledge. For children, the so-called competitive advantage is the effective development of potential. Mood, enlightenment, suggestion, reverie, perseverance and planning are the six principles to stimulate children's learning potential. Although there is no absolute "timetable" for potential development, it is important to have steps, such as setting goals, controlling emotions, sharpening the will and focusing on one point. ◆3. There is a way for children to get the first place in the exam. Love of learning is the premise of learning, and learning is the guarantee of love of learning. Only learning can "learn well". If children want to be the first in the exam, they must master some decisive methods, such as completing the exam as planned, writing carefully, reading textbooks slowly, sorting out wrong questions, taking notes at will, helping their classmates selflessly, taking exams efficiently and writing freely. Now many parents have entered a new misunderstanding in educating their children, that is, blindly following or even infatuating with the so-called successful parenting experience, but these experiences sound easier said than done. Because they are not "portable", if you just clone and imitate them blindly, you will not be able to implement them on your own children, but you will easily "learn to walk" and have the opposite effect. The most useful and real things need to calm down and think about refining. Educating children is not as complicated as parents think. It is not a distant dream to grasp the three major events of parent-child relationship, habit formation and learning. Parents become excellent parents and children become excellent children.