Take my son to see the sea, leaving no trace of parenting.
A child has been puzzled by a question: why did his deskmate want to be the first in the exam and get the first in the exam at once? And he wanted to be the first in the exam, so he got the second1in the class. When he got home, he asked, "Mom, am I more stupid than others?" I think I listen to my teacher and do my homework as seriously as he does, but why do I always lag behind him? "
Mother doesn't know how to answer him. Another exam, this time the child got 17, and the son asked the same question again. Mom really wants to say that people's intelligence is really 369 or something, and the person who gets the first place is smarter than the average person. But she knew that if she did, the children might think she was a stupid person.
My son graduated from primary school. Although I still haven't caught up with my deskmate, my grades have been improving. Mother took him to see the sea for this reason. It was during this trip that the mother answered her son's questions.
Later, my son was admitted to a prestigious school with the first place in the school. His alma mater asked him to give a report to his classmates and parents. Among them, he told me an experience when I was a child: "My mother and I were sitting on the beach. He pointed at me and said, Look at those birds fighting for food by the sea. When the waves come, the little grey finch can always take off quickly. They flapped their wings two or three times and flew into the sky. Seagulls always seem clumsy. It takes them a long time to fly from the beach to the sky. However, it is they who can really fly across the ocean. " This report made many mothers cry, including his mother.
The mother's educational art is seamless education, that is, leaving no trace in the educational process and implementing education in a natural and harmonious way. Any kind of educational phenomenon, the less children feel the educators' intentions, the greater the educational effect. When educating children, parents should be good at hiding their educational intentions, put down their parents' airs, and play an influential role in the process of communicating with children as equal interlocutors. This is the basic meaning of "education without trace".
Traceless education returns to the true nature of education.
We advocate seamless education, that is, hiding the educational intention, leaving no trace, not deliberately pursuing a fixed model, not leaving trauma to children's mind or body because of simple, rude or improper methods, and implementing education in a natural and harmonious way, so that children can gain true knowledge unconsciously, learn to be a man, improve their enthusiasm, initiative and consciousness in learning and self-education, and master the skills of learning and self-education.
"Education is by no means a simple cultural transmission. The reason why education is education is because it is an' awakening' of personality and soul, which is the core of education. "
Education needs no trace. Education is the fusion of souls, the dialogue between souls, and the collision between wisdom and life. Understanding the connotation of education in this way may be closer to the essence of education.
Education needs to be seamless, which is not only a yearning, but also a realm. This is a law, a principle, a method, a skill, an art and a wisdom. We can't artificially create laws. We should conform to this law, adhere to this principle, use this method, master this skill, understand this art and grow this wisdom.
How do parents teach well?
Traceless education has no eloquence, no meditation, no reprimand, no sadness and tears, only moved gratitude, care and happy growth.
1, education needs the wise and fools to speak loudly.
The story of nailing a bad-tempered son is. This mild punishment is more effective and meaningful than reprimanding. The child didn't lose his self-esteem, but his heart was touched.
2, education without trace needs to be taught by example.
Ge Hao Jian went to France to work and study with his children in his fifties. This is silent education, the most effective education and the most humanized education. 3.3 Traceless education needs to be simple and implicit. The child ran excitedly with the certificate, and the parents patted him or hugged him happily. A simple action made the child happy for a long time and remembered it for a lifetime. Parents' sincere caresses, loving eyes and meaningful smiles will ripple in children's hearts and leave unforgettable memories.
3. There is no trace of education. You need to be childlike forever.
In the face of children, we tend to be very forgetful about our childhood, accustomed to looking at the children's world from the perspective of adults, lacking the necessary understanding and respect. Returning childhood to children and treating children with childhood heart will turn many of our "dislikes" into understanding and respect. A little boy fell down and he couldn't help it. Deliberately falling will make him smile through tears. When we look at the wildflowers on the roadside, the birds on the branches and the playmates next door with our children's eyes, we will certainly make new discoveries.
4. Traceless education needs tolerance and respect.
In educational practice, many parents often pretend to be correct, are used to preaching and reprimanding, and are good at inculcating and telling. We don't want to inspire and think it's a waste of time; We don't want to be motivated, thinking that motivation is useless; We don't want to praise, thinking that children don't shine; We don't want to appreciate it, thinking that children are full of mistakes.
5. seamless education needs a peaceful atmosphere and situation.
Give children time and space to explore experience and epiphany, so that children can learn from the situation, learn from others, wake up from since the enlightenment, be suddenly enlightened and enjoy growth.
6. Traceless education requires parents to always play the role of problem bearer.
Don't tell, don't pay, don't instill, but retreat to the starting point of thinking and exploring with children.