typical case

"Bitter water" from a treasure mother:

The child is 5 years old and is taken care of by grandparents before being sent to kindergarten. After sending him to kindergarten, his mother will take the children to school. Slowly, I found that children have many bad habits.

1, crying all the time.

His tears are ready-made, and he cries if he is not satisfied. I can't stand it when you say that a boy cries so much. I lose my temper as soon as he cries. I lost my temper with him and hit him, but it didn't help. I think children cry and are spoiled by old people. Hours, only when he cried, he quickly hugged and coaxed. When you grow up, everything depends on him. Follow him. If he is wrong, he will cry and clamor for grandma and go back to grandpa's house.

Step 2 eat

When the child was young, it was fed by his grandmother. He never eats honestly at the dinner table. He always plays when his grandmother feeds him. Sometimes playing outside, his grandmother followed him and drove him from street to street. A meal is hot and cold, and it takes half a day to finish. Sometimes he doesn't eat on time, and he doesn't eat when everyone else has finished eating. When he wants to eat, his grandmother will quickly go to the kitchen to cook. Now that he is five years old, eating at home is still the same. Eat at school and feed at home.

3. discipline

His grandparents are very kind to him, but when they are dissatisfied, they call him smelly grandma and grandpa. I said no, but he wouldn't listen. Once I was in a hurry and wanted to hit him. This is at least a question of respecting the elderly. He is old, and it's time for him to change. His grandfather stopped to protect his grandson and spoke for the child: what does he know about such a small child? He knows that his mother can't take him at grandpa's house. Anyway, you can't teach children in front of the old people.

But they have the experience of taking care of children, careful and thoughtful, and so on. We take care of the children and get sick at both ends for three days. Sometimes we have diarrhea and sometimes we catch a cold, which makes us feel at a loss. But old people take care of children, and children seldom get sick. Therefore, we can't completely deny what's wrong with grandparents taking care of their children, nor can we deny intergenerational education.

It is not difficult to understand intergenerational education, that is, young parents, either because of their busy work or for other reasons, hand over all the responsibilities of their children's education and life to their grandparents, who consciously become "modern parents" who take care of the third generation in an all-round way. We can call this kind of intergenerational education the upbringing and education of grandparents to grandchildren.

According to statistics, more than 95% of parents in China have not systematically studied how to educate their children, among which the proportion of alternate parents is close to 100%. And 60% to 80% of these families are brought up by the next generation.

First, several situations of intergenerational education

First, take the initiative to take up the responsibility of raising grandchildren. Under the pressure of life, study and work, children don't have enough time. The elderly care about their children and take the initiative to help them take care of them.

The second is to passively assume the responsibility of raising grandchildren. It is divided into two situations:

The first child may have some kind of financial burden because of his unstable job. In order to reduce the financial burden of his children appropriately, he undertook the heavy responsibility of taking care of the necessities of his grandchildren and children.

The second child is an only child, and they belong to children who have not grown up. In the eyes of parents, their children are immature and playful. As grandparents, I am worried that I can't take care of my grandchildren, so I can only help them.

Second, the advantages of intergenerational education

? 1, have enough time and energy, have enough patience. And willing to spend time with children.

They not only take care of their children's lives, provide learning conditions and give appropriate guidance, but also listen to their stories patiently. Generally speaking, it is easy to establish a harmonious relationship between grandparents and grandchildren.

2. Grandparents have more parenting experience to make up for the lack of young parents' experience in caring for their children.

With practical experience in raising and educating children, they know better than their parents what problems children are prone to at different ages and how to deal with them.

3. The rich social experience and life perception accumulated by grandparents' parents in long-term social practice are favorable conditions for promoting children's development and effectively handling children's education problems.

Grandparents often have a child mentality, especially like to play with children, and it is easy to establish harmonious feelings with their grandchildren. Therefore, it creates good opportunities and conditions for educating children. Childishness creates a good emotional foundation for educating children and is conducive to the physical and mental health of grandparents and grandchildren.

5. intergenerational education can not only solve the worries of young parents, but also alleviate the loneliness of the elderly.

Third, the disadvantages of intergenerational education:

There are many advantages to intergenerational education. Old people have experience in taking care of children, and children know everything about their diet and daily life. There is no denying that it is a good thing to help children with their children. However, due to the limitations of historical conditions and the characteristics of its own times, there are inevitably some disadvantages that cannot be ignored.

1, old idea.

Many grandparents still demand their children with old ideas, teach them too many old experiences and lack the cultivation of pioneering spirit and divergent thinking. There are also some grandparents who unconsciously instill some feudal superstitions into their children because of their low culture and old ideas, which invisibly increases the difficulty for children to accept new ideas and knowledge.

2, it is easy to cause doting (the way of love is wrong).

Most grandparents often have a kind of "psychological compensation": because of the limited living and working conditions when they were young, they did not take good care of their children, but compensated their grandchildren with more love. This kind of thinking often leads to the phenomenon of "intergenerational habits". Grandparents love their grandchildren too much and indulge their children everywhere, which easily leads to their willfulness, strong dependence and low self-care ability. There are also some grandparents who "protect their weaknesses" because they love their children too much, which leads to children's weaknesses not being corrected for a long time.

3. Causing emotional estrangement between children and parents.

Parents love and protect their grandchildren's shortcomings, which makes it difficult for children to accept their parents' strict demands and criticisms, and it is easy to form emotional barriers and emotional opposition, and it is difficult to carry out normal and necessary education.

Children's peers lack social skills.

Research shows that there is a gap in communication between children from different family backgrounds, while children without family members are often taciturn. In the process of intergenerational education, parents are often absent. Relatively speaking, these children are more prone to interpersonal problems.

5, the elderly lack of physical strength, which may cause security risks.

Old people's physical strength is far inferior to that of children. Sometimes children can't keep up with the pace of their children, and there is no way to respond to their needs in time. Moreover, the elderly can't take care of their children because of their lack of physical strength, which may cause security risks.

Four, several misunderstandings that are easy to appear in the process of intergenerational education:

1, overprotective

Grandparents took good care of what children could have done by themselves and helped them do it. Under normal circumstances, children can exercise, but grandparents canceled. For example, a common scene in life: a child accidentally falls to the ground. "It's all rotten land, which hurts the baby."

The consequences enhance the child's dependence and make the child more delicate.

2, excessive accommodation-"Your mother won't let us eat, we will steal to eat, and then go home after eating;

Excessive accommodation of the consequences will easily make children feel self-centered and form self-willed and other bad characters.

3, excessive supervision-in the face of children's behavior, there will be countless "don't ..., don't ..."

We should urge our children to do everything and often check their behavior. Grandpa came to apologize and said he didn't bring an umbrella when it rained. )

Excessive protection of the consequences inhibits the development of children's independence and self-confidence, resulting in children's dependence and inertia.

4. Excessive punishment

Follow China's traditional educational philosophy of "children should be in charge and young trees should be encouraged", and criticize children more than encourage them, and punish them more than reward them.

The consequences make children feel seriously inferior, autistic or rebellious.

5. Overindulgence

Spoil, spoil. When I was young, I was inexperienced as a parent. Now it is necessary to make up for the endless demands of the next generation for their children, blindly meet the material needs, provide a package of services to the end, and unprincipled connivance and justifying shortcomings.

The consequence is to let children develop bad habits of willfulness, effeminacy, selfishness and poor self-care ability.

While giving full play to the advantages of intergenerational education, we should seriously overcome all kinds of difficulties and negative effects, so that children can grow up happily and healthily and truly cultivate happy children.

Five, the correct practice of intergenerational education:

There are two basic forms of family education: parental education for children and intergenerational education for grandchildren by grandparents. Intergenerational education can only be a supplement to parental education and can never replace parental education for children.

1, each generation of elders should be clear about their own goals of raising grandchildren, and what kind of talents we should cultivate our grandchildren is worthy of our mission.

We should let our grandchildren live healthily according to their nature. Children who can survive, learn, understand sports, have personality and morality can stand in the future social competition. We should let our grandchildren learn to feel happy. After all, happiness is the most important part of a person's life. As the elders of each generation, we should understand and actively cultivate children's survival ability and learning ability.

As a generation of elders, we should ensure the normal life of our children, and at the same time let them see their parents every day and communicate with them emotionally. If there is no guarantee that children will meet their parents. At least make sure that the communication between children and parents is not interrupted. Because parents are the first responsible person for raising and educating their children, even with the help of the elderly, they should communicate with their children more to make up for the lack of education by their elders.

2. Communicate with parents often and reach a consensus with them on educational methods and concepts.

The education of grandparents often conflicts with the ideas of young parents. When there are problems in the process of educating children, you can avoid them, communicate with their parents and discuss good ways to educate them together. On the issue of children's education, every generation of elders and parents should strive to "seek common ground while reserving differences" and strive to reach a consensus. Nowadays, the social pressure is too great, and young parents do have difficulties. Grandma and grandpa can understand. But in any case, young parents must realize their importance in raising children. Let them take on the responsibility of being parents as much as possible.

3. Cultivate children's good habits

1) Cultivate children's self-care ability 2) Cultivate children's ability to communicate with others?

3) Cultivate children's manners? 4) Cultivate children's habit of loving labor.

5) Cultivate children's habit of hygiene? 6) Cultivate children's sense of responsibility

Intergenerational education is an unavoidable educational reality in the special stage of China's economic development. There are advantages and disadvantages, so we should seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. The ideal state of intergenerational education is to make parental education and intergenerational education complement each other, which can not only reduce the educational burden of young parents, but also bring fun to grandparents. We can not only feel innovation and strictness from our parents, but also get love and tolerance from our ancestors. At the same time, children can learn to look at different objects and treat different things in different ways during the interaction with their parents and grandparents. In the end, children, parents, grandparents will benefit and promote the healthy growth of children!

As long as we are willing to grow up with our grandchildren in the process of raising them, we will become good grandparents, good grandparents and good grandmothers! I wish all grandparents can not only enjoy their grandchildren's family happiness, but also keep their vitality while accompanying their grandchildren to grow up! I wish all the old people good health!