If parents can deeply understand their children and know their loneliness and anguish, so as to leave their children's hearts and accompany and guide them with their hearts, then parents can successfully educate their children. Of course, adolescent children are sensitive, self-respecting, rebellious and not so easy to approach.
Therefore, parents must pay attention to ways and means, and try to get to know their children in depth first, so as to guide and educate their children in a targeted and leisurely manner. Regrettably, when the child enters adolescence and rebellious period, parents find that the originally obedient and sensible child becomes rebellious overnight, often emotional and even hysterical, and don't understand why the child has undergone such great changes.
Every parent should be aware that when a child enters adolescence, parents must remain emotionally calm and ideologically rational, so as to know more about the child, less misunderstand the child, help the child to have a good mood and let the child trust his parents more.
For adolescent children, impulsive willfulness. Only by trusting parents and asking them for help in time when encountering problems can we open our hearts and solve problems to the maximum extent. Sun Yunxiao, a famous education expert, is responsible for editing the magazine Children's Studies. He has a good research on the psychology of children and adolescents. He once said that only by respecting children can we understand them, and only by understanding them can we educate them.
It can be seen that if parents want to open their children's hearts and better understand their children, they must carefully observe their children and learn more about them through various aspects. Some parents only care about their children's food and drink, but ignore their spiritual and emotional needs. Some parents always stare at their children's academic performance, but ignore the cooperation of many factors outside learning.
In a word, as parents, we must pay attention to and take care of our children in all directions to ensure their healthy physical and mental growth.
First of all, parents should know about their children's physical health and development. Children are in a period of long-term physical construction, so parents should take their children for physical examination in time and make healthy recipes for them. No matter whether the child is too active or too quiet, parents should detect it in time so as to take the child to the relevant consultation room of the hospital for treatment.
Secondly, parents should understand their children's intellectual development more carefully. Compared with physical development, children's intellectual development is often relatively hidden, and intelligence contains many factors, such as understanding ability, memory ability, judgment ability, thinking ability, creativity and problem-solving ability. This belongs to the category of intelligence. Parents should comprehensively consider these aspects when observing and judging their children's intellectual development. It is irresponsible to unilaterally assert that a child is a genius or a fool.
In addition, parents should also know that children's intelligence develops rapidly at a certain age, which is the golden age of intellectual development. Parents must seize these critical periods to develop their children's intelligence, so as to vigorously promote their children's intellectual development.
Third, parents should pay attention to their children's mental health. The pressure of survival in modern society is great. Not only adults have to bear the fierce competition and great pressure in the workplace, but children also have to bear the burden of their studies. In particular, many parents always increase their children's learning burden in order to keep their children from losing at the starting line. In the long run, children who should be carefree always have a cloudy childhood and always feel very hard. Under this long-term burden, children's psychological problems are frequent, and suicide incidents of primary school students and junior high school students are common, which should attract the attention of the whole society. As parents, they should pay more attention to their children's mental health and prevent them from going astray because of psychological problems.
Finally, parents should consciously cultivate their children's hobbies and give them strong support when they find that their children have special talents in a certain aspect. The so-called hobby is not a skill that parents force their children to master, but that parents should respect and conform to their children's nature and cultivate their children according to their choices.
Even if a hobby can't really benefit children in their study or life, it can make them have fun from it, and even let them find ways to entertain themselves when they feel stressed. In this way, children will have spiritual and emotional sustenance, which plays an important role in the happiness and enrichment of their lives.
In short, children are by no means accessories of parents. Although parents have children, they may not fully understand them. As parents, we must have a deep understanding of children's hearts and truly treat children equally on the principle of respecting them. Remember, only by knowing children can parents better guide and educate their children.
Nie Xiuqing's "Don't compete with rebellious children"
Brief introduction of the author
Nie Xiuqing
Founder of Holland-America Psychological Platform, President of China Institute of Social Psychology, Ph.D. in Psychological Counseling and Clinical Research of China Academy of Sciences, expert in adolescent education and intimate relationship, resident psychological guest of Baidu, member of China Mental Health Association, vice president of Jinan Psychological Counsellors Association, founder of Xiaohe Love Public Service Center of mass newspaper group (Jinan), engaged in charity for more than 10 years, helping more than 0/000 children in distress.
Luo
Psychological counselor, vice president of Jinan Psychological Counselors Association, high-end private psychological counselor, resident psychological guest of Shandong Radio Station, special psychological guest of Baidu, author of seven books including Marriage in a New Era and Perfect Relationship, devoted to psychological study and communication for more than ten years, conducted more than 500 offline lectures 100, and conducted more than 2000 online courses100.