-Ramu
1
Good friends have been very upset recently. Because she found her son's watermelon more and more violent.
She told me what happened recently:
Last weekend, a relative came to visit with his children.
Watermelon and children are playing in the bedroom, and I am talking to adults in the living room.
Suddenly I heard crying in the bedroom, so I hurried over to have a look. Relatives' children sat on the ground crying, watermelon stood by, holding toys tightly in their arms and watching the children on the ground warily.
I picked up the child and asked how the watermelon was.
Watermelon pointed to a relative's child and said, "She wants to rob my pirate ship!" " "Go ahead.
"Brother, play for my sister! I took it from his hand and looked at it.
Watermelon saw that I was going to take his pirate ship and quickly held it in his arms and said, "No! Don't play for your sister! "
I was angry and yelled at him. "How can this child be so ignorant? What's wrong with playing for his sister! "
At this time, relatives came. I threatened watermelon to save face. If I don't take out my toys, I won't eat at noon!
After listening to my words, Watermelon was so angry that the pirate ship in his hand fell to the ground and lay on the ground crying.
"I don't like mom! I hate mom! "
A good friend said that if there were no relatives, she really wanted to beat her son.
I said watermelon is not a selfish child.
What he doesn't want to share may be that he likes the toy very much and is afraid that other children will break it.
After listening to my words, my good friend looked guilty. "The pirate ship is a birthday gift from my father to watermelon.
He likes it very much, it's very important, and he doesn't let me touch it at ordinary times. I'm afraid it will be damaged somewhere.
I was angry and forced him to bring it up.
"
Children don't get angry for no reason, and losing control of emotions is also a way of self-expression.
However, many parents will lose their minds before their children get out of control.
2
I read an article:
Girls in grade three were scolded by their parents for their unsatisfactory test results.
When the rebellious girl heard her parents' accusations, she warmed up and had a big fight with them.
In anger, my father slapped the girl in the face. "What's the use of raising a daughter like you? It is more beautiful to die! " .
The girl listened to her father's words and left home without looking back.
The next day, the police found the girl's parents and told them that the girl committed suicide by jumping into the river on the bridge last night.
The parents who learned the bad news never imagined that a moment of anger took away their daughter's life.
When a child loses his temper, the most taboo is "fighting violence with violence."
People don't listen to anything when they are emotional. A moment of anger will ignite the fuse of emotional outburst, which may lead to unexpected and serious consequences.
three
Children don't get angry for no reason. Before educating children, we must first find out why we are angry.
In the TV program "Mom is Superman 3", one day, three children came to Ahern's house, and Huo Siyan was the only adult in the family.
So, Huo Siyan, yes, helped with the children.
At first, yes, like a big brother, I took care of the children wholeheartedly.
But he soon realized that he had been ignored by his mother.
People are cold because I think my mother doesn't love him anymore.
Being wronged, he couldn't help getting angry with his mother and even threatened to run away from home.
At that time, Huo Siyan didn't yell at his son, but calmed down and called his father to let him and his son explain clearly.
"Mom is not angry with you, just a little worried.
"
Finally, under the adjustment of his father, the father and son made up.
Actually, yes, being angry is not really angry, but seeing my mother take care of other children and neglecting herself.
He was afraid that his mother liked other children more than himself, and he felt insecure, so he lost his temper to attract his mother's attention.
Children need love most when they are willful and angry.
four
Anger is a common emotional expression of children.
So, what should we do in the face of the angry "beast"?
1. Accept your child's feelings
When a child is angry or angry, do you want to be angry, shout and use force more than him?
If so, please control your emotions first.
I remember watching the video before. The mother's education method in the video has caused great controversy.
After the girl made a mistake, the blame for her mother was full of anger, helplessness and dissatisfaction. She shouted. I wish mom would stop talking and be alone.
But the mother doesn't understand the child, just let her admit her mistake and write a review.
In fact, it is not the girl who should reflect most, but the mother.
The girl repeatedly stressed that she was aware of her mistake, but her mother made her admit it without mercy.
No wonder many netizens are shouting "I feel uncomfortable".
The mother didn't see some dissatisfaction behind the child's hysteria.
Dr. Deborah McNamara, a child psychologist, said, "Don't try to calm children's anger, but let them end it."
Anger itself is harmless and it is right to stop it.
"
2. Calm communication makes you feel better.
Please ignore the child when he is angry. Because people can't hear anything when they are angry.
Communicate with children when they vent their emotions and calm down.
Next, dad set a good example of communication for angry children.
The father will not yell at the angry child, but calmly analyze, let the child know how he feels, accept and vent his anger, and then slowly give up his feelings.
Isn't this method more acceptable to children?
3. Set a correct example for children
Parents are originals and children are copies.
The shortcomings of children and parents are almost one-to-one correspondence.
Angry parents find it difficult to educate gentle children.
When accusing children of being grumpy, parents should also review themselves. Aren't you often angry with others yourself?
Teacher Shuai Lan, a compulsory lecture hall for parents, said: "Emotional management cannot be mastered overnight. Even adults often lose control. Not to mention children whose minds are not developed enough.
Put away your temper and give your child some time and patience!
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