The following mainly analyzes the psychological characteristics of children in the second stage of rebellious period and the places that should be paid attention to in family education: three psychological contradictions of children in rebellious period: one is the psychological contradiction between longing for independence and dependence on parents in reality; adolescence is a period of rapid development of children's self-awareness, and the most prominent psychological change of children in this period is the emergence of "sense of adulthood" and the realization that "I am no longer a child". At this time, they hate it most. But at the same time, they have no independent economic base and material conditions. They want to get rid of their dependence on their parents, but they don't have enough self-care ability. They want adults to treat them as adults, but many of their words and deeds are still naive, so that the more they want to get rid of their parents, the more they find that they cannot do without their parents' care and help. This contradiction between longing for independence and realistic dependence often leads to children's psychological conflict, confusion and anxiety. In order to eliminate this contradiction or achieve psychological balance, they often confront their parents or adults in a naive way to show that they are no longer children. For example, criticisms and accusations against parents, whether correct or not, all show increasingly strong resistance, deliberately singing "anti-tune" with parents. At the same time, their resistance is more in the form of potential, such as taking a cold, irresponsible and indifferent attitude towards their parents' arrangements in life and education. Second, the psychological contradiction between psychological atresia and desire to understand: children begin to have their own little secrets and are no longer willing to tell their parents everything. Although the inner world has become more colorful, the external performance of psychological activities has begun to lose the straightforwardness, innocence and simplicity of children. Locking up here means not revealing your secrets to people who don't know your heart. This is one of the most remarkable psychological changes of children in adolescence. They are not congenial to their parents and feel that they can't really understand themselves. In this way, adolescent children often feel lonely, and after a long time, there is a need to hope that others can understand and express their feelings. This demand is often comforted and balanced by keeping a diary, writing letters and choosing the closest friends. Moreover, at this time, the status of confidant is far greater than that of parents and teachers. This psychological contradiction and its behavioral characteristics, if not understood and properly handled by parents or adults, will probably lead to misunderstanding and emotional estrangement to children, and then affect their emotional life and social adaptation. Some common psychological obstacles in adolescence, such as depression and anxiety, are related to this contradiction in children's psychological development. Third, the psychological contradiction between the rapid maturity of sexual physiology and the relative naivety of sexual psychology: With the maturity of sexual organs and sexual functions, adolescent children began to undergo some unprecedented sharp and significant changes in physiology. While most teenagers are interested and curious, they feel uneasy and shy to varying degrees, and even have fear and confusion. This is the contradiction between sexual maturity and psychological naivety. So children at this time will have some common characteristics: 1. For the existing unsatisfied social status, due to the formation of "adult sense", children demand the same social status and decision-making power as adults, resist the subordinate position at home, and even oppose the authoritative interference of parents. 2. There is a conceptual collision with adults: they begin to think about nature, society, life and interpersonal relationships, and form a set of their own views. However, due to their limited level of thinking development, their thoughts are naive, showing initiative, extremes and absoluteness. They don't understand why adults' ideas are incompatible with them, and they are even more opposed to the ideas imposed on them by their parents. 3. Uncontrollable mood swings: due to the inadaptability and imbalance of physical and mental development caused by the accelerated physical development of children, they face many contradictions and puzzles under the condition of insufficient preparation. These constant "contradictions" and "troubles" often make him anxious, encounter dissatisfaction and injustice, and easily lose control of his emotions. Parents should pay attention to the following problems: when children grow up, they can't be managed and educated like children. If parents always put forward certain requirements in a rigid, repetitive or frequent way, there may be three situations when educating children: First, there may be conflicts: parents' excessive concern or repeated preaching, ordering and reprimanding make children feel disrespectful and distrustful, thus showing opposition and resistance. Children's resistance causes parents' anger and dissatisfaction, thus further reprimanding the children. The stronger the reprimand, the stronger the resistance. This cycle will affect the feelings between parents and children, causing tension. Second, stay away from your parents. Some parents put too much pressure on their children, and the children can't resist, so they take the method of what you say and what I do, stay away from them, or find another confidant. The emotional communication between parents and children is very poor. Thirdly, they yield to the pressure of their parents, and they obey Nuo Nuo, which inhibits the development of children's independence. Children may become mediocre people and have no future. Therefore, parents should improve management and education methods with the growth and change of children's independent intention: first, give children equal right to speak; A. Patiently listen to children's thoughts and opinions, no matter how absurd and unrealistic these thoughts and opinions seem to you, you should be patient and listen carefully, and you should respect children's personality. B. Don't arbitrarily accuse and rashly deny and comment on children's views. C. Respond positively to children's ideas and opinions, let children fully express their ideas and make a positive gesture: "Your idea is good, if you add a little or change it, it will be more perfect." Parents' positive response can make children feel happy and full of sense of accomplishment. Don't hurt children's self-esteem when criticizing them. A distinguish between occasions and wording: don't criticize children fiercely in front of their friends and teachers. The wording of criticism should be appropriate. Don't "you're hopeless". "Why don't you study hard like XXX? Why not do something like XXX? " If you hurt your child's self-esteem. B. Don't criticize children with such words as you have never ... You are always ... Instead, focus on this matter and don't turn over old scores. C. Appropriate cold treatment: When the child's emotional reaction is strong and his words are fierce and impulsive, parents simply take an indifferent attitude and wait for the child to think calmly and calm down the impulse before criticizing. Third, let children learn to care about themselves: when parents interfere with their children's behavior, they should directly express their worries and anxieties. "For example, mom can understand you, but you are so worried. I believe you can understand your mother's feelings and will handle these things yourself. " Let the children know their parents' love, ask the reason first, and explain that they are very anxious and worried. I hope children can understand their parents' love and difficulties from their parents' point of view. Fourth, carry out sexual physiology education: after entering adolescence, teenagers' sexual function begins to mature, but their sexual psychological development can not adapt. Some children are not used to the rapid development of the body and the sharp change of personality, and are shy and shy. Some people feel that they have developed early or late, which is different from others, causing anxiety, depression or inferiority, loneliness and so on. Therefore, the most appropriate time for parents is to educate their children about sex physiology when they have secondary sexual characteristics. Generally speaking, mothers tell girls and fathers tell boys. School education may be involved, but parents should cooperate with school education and consider certain methods and selective targeted education according to their children's actual situation. Xia Baoyu, senior psychological counselor of Beijing Ren 'ai Huixin.