For the purpose of family education, parents should aim at letting their children develop themselves freely, improve their personality and improve their morality, rather than simply asking their children to acquire certain knowledge or skills. People's true happiness has never been based on these external purposes.
Successful tutors are all the same, and unsuccessful tutors have their own problems. Successful parents are not only good at getting along with their children, but also understand their children's psychology at any time and place, give the most effective guidance, and let their children thrive in a warm environment. Britain, Russia and South Korea all teach children this way.
Britain: Let children decide whether they are warm or cold.
"I can do it." This is a common saying of British children. The British say that doing what they can for their children is the biggest blow to their enthusiasm. Steve is a little boy in grade three. One day, he will go to the mountains for a two-day camping trip. Steve proudly told his mother that he could get his luggage ready, but before he left, his mother found that he didn't bring enough clothes. The mountains were much colder than the cities. Mother gave Steve her opinion, but little Steve refused to bring any more clothes, and her mother didn't insist.
When Steve came back two days later, his mother asked him if he had a good time. He said, "I should listen to my mother. It is cold in the mountains. " Mom asked, shall we take the same clothes to Florida next month? Steve thought for a moment and said, "No, Florida is very hot." Mother said, "Before you go out, you should know the local weather before you make a decision." Steve said, "I see. I should make a list first when I go camping next time, just like before my father goes on a business trip, so that I won't forget to bring something. "
Perhaps some parents will question whether the mother's practice is unreasonable, but the mother said, "Of course, the child's warmth and coldness should be felt by himself. If a person's warmth and coldness are determined by his parents, this person's viability must be very weak. "
It is the practice of most British parents to let their children have the opportunity to gain experience through trial and accumulate experience and courage through constant mistakes.
Russia: How a child plays is his own business.
An important content of Russian children's family education is to cultivate children's sense of independence and courage to overcome difficulties. The children played together, chased each other and fought. Some of them accidentally fell down, even broke their skin, shed blood and shed painful DC tears. When their parents see it, they often just look at the scar, gently wipe it off, and then let them stand up and continue to play, as if it were nothing at all.
Parents generally don't interfere with what their children have to do. Let them do it themselves. Martha is a beautiful Russian girl. Once, she received a box of colored crayons as a birthday present. Little Martha plays alone with crayons. After a while, she dropped the crayons and scribbled on adult books and papers. Her parents just laughed.
After a while, she got tired of playing, so she climbed onto the armrest of the sofa. Handrails are difficult to climb and dangerous to climb. I was worried, but the adults in the room just watched her climb from a distance. She managed to climb the handrail, and just wanted to stand up, her foot slipped and she fell headlong on the carpeted floor and began to cry. I was distressed to see it, but those adults laughed. Her mother went over to encourage her to stand up and let her climb again.
Russians don't interfere with children's "play". They think: "Children's interests are completely different from those of adults. How to play and what to play is their own business, and they should decide for themselves. "
South Korea: "Wolf-style" teaching method makes children learn to be independent.
Newborn cubs are often taken to pits and ditches by male wolves, so that they can find a way to get up from the predicament of falling. Even when the male wolf and the female wolf see the little wolf in trouble, they just look at it from a distance instead of interfering, and only when their lives are in danger will they help it up. They keep a safe protection distance, but not zero distance, which is also the distance of love. Only at this distance can the little wolves learn to be independent.
Korean parents learn from the wolf's parenting methods to cultivate their children's independence. Once, his father Cui took him to the playground to play. Cui really wants to play the aerial cable car, which is a very exciting game. Cui Yinzhi is inevitably afraid. He really wants his father to play with him. But Cui's father refused his son's request. He encouraged the children: "One should go alone." Cui had to play alone, while his father stood at the entrance waiting for him. As soon as Cui Yinzhi got on the cable car, he began to be afraid. He called out to his father, but he didn't seem to hear him at all and turned a blind eye to his frightened son. The father of a child next to him couldn't stand it anymore. Thinking that Cui's father had no money to buy a ticket, he came over and offered to buy him a ticket and let him play with his son. However, Cui said to his father, "Thank you for your kindness. I have already bought a ticket. However, I still want my children to finish this game by themselves. I just want my child to understand that since he chose to play this game, he must face the stimulation and his own fears independently and learn to adjust and solve his emotional problems. "
Cui's father adopts the "wolf" teaching method. He believes that this will eventually train his children to be as determined, brave, self-reliant and self-reliant as wolves. On the contrary, it may cultivate a person who can't survive in society and protect himself.