Children don't have to be "independent of falsehood" when they grow up. Parents' wrong education may bring three kinds of harm to children. A friend is an early parent, and he is eager to make his children very independent. But it is not difficult to find that his way of making children independent has already exceeded the age range of children.
When a child is five years old, he thinks that the child has reached a relatively independent stage and is no longer dependent on his parents as he was a child. Once he took his children to the supermarket to buy things. After shopping, he let the children go home by themselves. The child doesn't know the way home, but he dare not say more. But because he didn't know the direction, the child got lost and didn't go home until dark.
My friend was upset and finally looked for it with relatives and neighbors, only to find that the crying child was squatting on the ground not far from the supermarket. My friend was scared when he thought about it afterwards, but he still didn't understand that he only did it for the independence of his children. Why is there such a result?
What kind of harm will parents' "parenting" education do to their children?
Hit a child's self-esteem
Scott once said: the most important condition for educating children is to have extraordinary patience and moderate love. Patience will make children feel safe, and they will gradually learn some truth. Love is to provide a loving environment for children to maintain enough self-esteem and self-confidence. People who treat their children's self-esteem incorrectly must not be good parents.
Especially in order to make their children better, they often compare with other children, and inadvertently convey the idea that "you are not as good as others". From small to large, this makes children divide themselves into three or six grades, which greatly damages their self-confidence.
Leading to a lack of care and security.
A sense of security not only means that children have a comfortable living environment, but more importantly, let children know themselves clearly in their hearts and learn to face others and themselves equally. Just like the children in the story, if parents overemphasize their children's independence, they will become frightened.
Because they don't know what is waiting for them next, not to mention that they will face the feelings and blame of their parents. Children don't have to be "independent of falsehood" when they grow up. Parents' wrong education may bring three kinds of harm to children. 3. alienate the parent-child relationship. A child who can't feel the love of his parents will never grow up to be a child with a healthy mind and a sound personality. Parental love is not only a strict aspect for children, but also a kind of gentle and considerate care.
It is a good thing to hope that children will be independent, but if they rush into it, they will resist their parents' education. I don't accept my parents' heart, let alone what my parents want me to do. This will inevitably lead to the alienation of parent-child relationship.
How to make children truly independent and reduce their dependence on their parents
1. Guide children more and don't be picky about them.
Children's independence is a good thing, but this kindness is based on the correct education of parents. Nothing can be done overnight, it needs to be done step by step. Especially for the process of children's independence, this is a long time. Parents should give more guidance and encouragement, which will bring invisible support to children and make them more confident. Pay special attention to the step-by-step way to make children independent, and don't ask children to make changes in a short time.
2. Let children have time to be alone
Many adults need time to think and live alone, and so do children. They need a part of their own space to maintain their independent personality. In fact, you can cultivate an independent personality at a very young age. The way to cultivate is to let him not rely too much on his parents, but to give him some space. Let him draw by himself, read by himself and so on.
3. Give children the opportunity to think and solve problems
Many parents are very impatient in the face of some children's questions, unwilling to answer their children's questions, and even disdain to guide their thinking. At least this will not cultivate children's independence. Because independence is not only independent of behavior, but also independent of thinking. A person who can't think independently and solve problems alone can't achieve true independence.
Third, summary.
All parents want their children to be independent day by day, and unconsciously compare their children's independence with that of other children. Cultivate children's independence. Pay attention to step by step, and rushing will only make children more resistant to independence.