The emotional attachment and care of family members is the premise of forming a normal parent-child relationship and establishing a happy family. Foster parents should pay attention to emotional input. The deeper the adoptive parents feel for their adopted son, the closer the spiritual distance between them will be, and there will be a foundation of empathy and deep feelings between father (mother) and son (daughter). The sincere love and ardent hope of adoptive parents have obvious influence on the healthy development of adopted son's body and mind, which is conducive to the implementation of good family education and the success of adopted son. On the contrary, if the adoptive parents are indifferent to their adopted children, it will not only help to eliminate their strangeness, but will enhance the adopted children's distrust of their adoptive parents. Adoptive parents can establish a normal parent-child relationship with their adopted son, which can not only promote their children to become talents, but also allow them to have family interaction and enjoy the most sincere feelings in the room.
(2) Give children enough autonomy.
Because the adopted family is a combination of two generations, adoptive parents and adopted children have an adaptation process to the new family. Especially for adopted children, no matter their age or living environment, they are unfamiliar and uneasy at first. Older children need longer time to adapt to the environment and emotions, and even the changes in family titles need to be gradually adapted.
As adoptive parents, in addition to gradually adapting to the new family environment and creating a new family life, we should also pay special attention not to rush to turn adopted children into "own" children. It is difficult to force adopted children to play the role of new family members, or even "haste makes waste". Adoptive parents should know as much as possible about their adopted son's original family life environment, adopted son's personality characteristics and all kinds of people who influence them, communicate with them more, listen to their opinions and demands, respect their choices, and let them gradually adapt to the new family environment and get used to the new family life style. This will first create a family atmosphere of "democratic governance". Only when the adopted children fully understand their adoptive parents and accept the new family psychologically can there be a harmonious family atmosphere and a basis for implementing good family education for the adopted children.
(3) Handle the secrets in children's lives carefully.
As the adopted children grow older, they sometimes ask their adoptive parents about their birth experience; Many adoptive parents themselves have to face the question of whether they should tell their adopted sons their true experiences. This is a knot of adopted family members, and it is also a difficult problem that adopted families must solve in family education. In this regard, we must respect the adopted children, proceed from the actual situation of the family, treat them differently, solve them differently, and carefully handle the life secrets of the adopted children.
If the child is adopted in infancy, and the adopter is not the child's biological parents, the adopted child will generally not know the real birth experience, so that the adopted child's life secret can be kept forever, which is conducive to the child's mental health development and family harmony and harmony.
If a child still has memories of his/her biological parents, he/she can tell him/her the real situation of adoption, change his/her skepticism, let him/her understand his/her family's choices, help him/her adapt to the new family environment, gradually increase his/her affection with adoptive parents, and build a harmonious and happy family.
If the child doesn't know his life story, but this secret can't be kept forever, adoptive parents can take the appropriate opportunity to explain his life story to their adopted son. Because such children may know their own life experiences sooner or later, once they know the mystery of their own life experiences through exploration and know that they are "adopted" children, their peace of mind will be destroyed, their hearts will not accept the reality, they will be greatly hurt, and they will become silent, so they often cannot forgive their adoptive parents for hiding the truth from themselves and become obstacles to family harmony. If adoptive parents can choose the right time to tell the true situation of their adopted children, they will be shocked and grateful for their trust, thus gradually calming down emotionally and accepting adoptive parents, creating conditions for family harmony and laying the foundation for implementing good family education.
(4) At the same time, we should also pay attention to our own psychological problems.
Generally speaking, people hold negative views on the families of adopted children and their education. First, they think that there is a lack of emotion, sincerity and coordination between adoptive parents and adopted children, and the generation gap is deep and there are many contradictions, so it is difficult to have a normal parent-child relationship; Second, it is difficult for adoptive parents to grasp the education of their adopted sons. If strict demands are made on them, it will cause resentment and gossip from outsiders. If education is relaxed, they will often lead to some bad behaviors of adopted children and fail to fulfill their parents' educational responsibilities. Therefore, adoptive parents must be psychologically prepared, control their own psychological state, face the secular pressure calmly, and bravely assume the educational responsibility of adoptive parents.
First of all, adoptive parents should accept and treat their adopted son more leniently than their own children, understand their immaturity, their psychological needs, their subjective initiative, establish a correct view of children and be in no hurry to achieve success. We should also control our expectations of adopted children, not only pay attention to their personality development to meet their expectations, but also promote their personality development to meet the needs of society and let them grow up healthily. In particular, adoptive parents should avoid linking the problem of adopted children with their biological parents when solving the obstacles and problems of their children's physical and mental development, and should patiently and meticulously fulfill their parental responsibilities.
At the same time, adoptive parents should overcome psychological pressure and bravely shoulder the responsibility of educating their adopted sons. Foster parents have the responsibility and obligation to adopt their children strictly, cultivate their good moral character and strong will, promote their all-round development in morality, intelligence, physique, beauty and labor, and lay a good foundation for their development. We should also pay attention to the hidden dangers in the physical and mental development of adopted children and take effective educational measures to solve the educational problems of adopted children. Only by strictly demanding the adoption of children is the most sincere love for children, which can promote the family adopting children to have a normal atmosphere and achieve good family education results.