They think that by educating children about setbacks and letting them suffer, they will not become blx, and their ability to withstand pressure will not be too weak in the future, so they can better face practical problems.
But everything pays attention to moderation, and many parents use excessive frustration education to suppress their children's self-esteem and self-confidence, but they crush their children.
She thinks the same is true of frustration education. When I was a child, I consciously hurt my child, yelling at my child, and after getting used to it, I won't be devastated in the face of setbacks. Like boiling frogs in warm water.
Now children's growth is generally smooth sailing. Occasionally encounter some stressful things, psychologically unbearable, very fragile personality, as if unable to experience any ups and downs. However, this kind of "desensitization" education also gives parents reasonable reasons to hurt their children to some extent.
Some parents take it for granted that' I'm encouraging him' when attacking their children, so they often blindly follow some seemingly reasonable educational methods, which eventually leads to injuries from exports, and the result is often counterproductive.
1. Lack of emotional management ability
Emotional management is a lifelong process. People who can't learn emotional management can only be dominated by emotions. But in today's society, few people know how to control their emotions. The way they deal with negative emotions is not in themselves, but in passing them on to others.
Especially when many children encounter difficulties and their mentality is unstable, they are unwilling to communicate their inner confusion with their parents. Express your negative emotions with more extreme behaviors, which will bring trouble to yourself and others.
2. Injuries from parents
Every parent thinks that their children must receive the best education and cannot lose to others, so they are very strict with their children. Don't let children make mistakes, and don't let children fall behind others. Such expectations will definitely put a lot of pressure on children.
And because of the special relationship with parents, often this kind of pressure can not be released. Because for a child, parents are the most trustworthy people. If even parents stand on the opposite side of themselves, then they have nothing to rely on.
But the most terrible thing is that most parents don't realize this kind of problem, some parents don't even say anything, and other children are experiencing it. But children are different from children, and each child's psychological endurance is different. This kind of blind obedience in education has no positive significance.
3. Excessive psychological pressure
Parents' expectations, social competition and peer comparison are all reasons why children are prone to stress. It's not that many children can't cope with setbacks now, but that they have more and more complicated things to deal with.
Some things are even too complicated for them to bear. However, if parents still put pressure on their children at this time, it will inevitably make their psychological pressure more serious.
1. Don't stand on the opposite side of children.
When children face setbacks and pressures, if they want to relieve the pressure, the first person they think of is their parents. Parents are the people that children trust most unconditionally. But some parents like to stand on the opposite side of their children and criticize them instead of helping them overcome difficulties and ease their emotions.
Such behavior will definitely make children more sensitive and vulnerable. Not only that, parents often use reasons such as "don't want their children to fall behind" and "don't want their children to get worse" to force their children.
Many times, parents have actually stood on the opposite side of their children, but they just don't know it. The best way is for parents to replace blame with understanding, so that children can feel that their parents have given them unlimited strength, not pressure.
2. Learn to motivate children scientifically.
Parents are children's natural teachers, and their thoughts and behaviors have a profound and lasting impact on a child. Without the guidance of parents and teachers, many children cannot succeed. Setbacks are not terrible. Face it, and you will know that escape is the most terrible thing.
The educational defect of many parents is that they often teach their children how to avoid setbacks rather than how to face them. People can't avoid all kinds of setbacks in their lives. Only by defeating it can we gain confidence and success.
Parents should let their children know that success does not come from those who have not encountered difficulties, but from those who have encountered many difficulties but can overcome them.
3. Always be sure of your children.
Nothing is more important to the growth of a child than the affirmation of parents. In children's daily life, parents can give their children more confidence, let them grow up in a safe environment, make them stronger and have the courage to face setbacks.
Professor Li Meijin's "desensitization" is not to let parents blindly educate their children about setbacks, but to give them more pressure to overcome difficulties and setbacks, instead of just giving them pressure without motivation, otherwise the children will be more afraid of facing setbacks. (The pictures are all from the Internet and have been deleted. )