Generally, in the scene of children crying, not only children are present, but we even have more spectators ourselves. When a child cries and makes a scene, there must be some reason. Maybe his wishes were not met, or maybe he was criticized by us or other reasons.
As parents present, we didn't notice that the child was crying at first, but felt our current mood first, because we couldn't control the child's mood, and we couldn't control whether others were crying or making trouble. But we can manage our emotions first. When children have such behaviors and emotions, can we not get angry first, can we control ourselves not to say "don't cry" to children, or say something that will cause children's negative emotions? If we can control our emotions well, then we can go to the next step.
2. When the child is emotional, don't ask for it, but stabilize his mood and tell the child that we will wait for him.
The child loses his temper, he is crying, and he won't listen to anything when he is particularly excited. We ask people not to cry, we ask people to do this and that now, which is actually wishful thinking. Imagine that when we adults are sad, complaining or suffering, we don't want to do anything. How can we ask a child to do this because of our own wishes? In fact, the request at this time will only make the child more wronged and cry more fiercely. At the same time, it is useless to communicate with children at this time.
What we can really do is to ignore his crying, instead of saying where to leave the child, saying "you cry, you cry" or leaving him alone. We stand in a place where he can see, at least where he knows he is safe, where the child is crying, and we ignore him and continue to do our own thing. At this time, don't be a bad COP and a bad COP. Black and white faces are purely creating parent-child conflicts for people who play bad faces, so the best way is to tell children that no one will play bad faces to coax you. When you have finished crying, please come to me. I still love you. "
Once this practice is adhered to, children can vent their emotions appropriately. If a child cries because his needs are not met, we can tell him directly that he can't get what he wants after crying.
3. After the child calms down, analyze the reasons and help the child find a better solution.
Once the child found out that we didn't pay attention to him when he cried, he really couldn't influence his parents' decision by crying, so he stopped crying. He will clear his emotions and negotiate calmly. This is the best time for us to talk to our children.
When the child is crying, be sure to tell the child: "You can cry, cry, and come to me when you are finished crying." We need children to learn from crying, so we should not disturb him when he is crying, because at that time our reaction will give the child an opportunity and even make him cry more violently. What if he just wants to control us by crying?
When he stops crying, the child's mood will gradually calm down. This is the best time to educate children. At this time, you can analyze with your child why she is crying and whether there is a better solution than crying.