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How to deal with ten misunderstandings that parents tend to ignore when educating their children?
At the national seminar on family education guidance activities, experts gave advice to parents-to get out of "valuing intelligence but neglecting ability". Family education in today's society has got rid of the traditional inherent mode and put forward new requirements not only for children but also for parents. With the outline of family education gradually emerging, what are the misunderstandings in family education? How to get out of these misunderstandings? A few days ago, at the national seminar on family education guidance activities, relevant experts pointed out that parents should update their concepts, improve their quality and learn scientific and reasonable educational methods to meet the current social demand for family education. Improper family education methods are getting worse and worse. "Now many parents blindly emphasize children's scores, children's learning, and the cultivation of children's sense of competition, but rarely communicate with children. The more they pay attention to such family education, the worse the future results will be. " At the seminar, the report of Jiang Yuee, Minister of Children's Department of All-China Women's Federation, resonated with many experts attending the meeting. She believes that the characteristics of the market economy itself and the influence of negative factors have had a certain negative impact on parents and minors. On the one hand, due to more and more ways and channels for children to receive information, children are exposed to many unhealthy things through network technology. On the other hand, there are various ways for parents to get quick success and instant benefit in family education. Some misunderstandings, such as "attaching importance to intelligence but neglecting ability" and "attaching importance to education", will lay hidden dangers for children's growth. For example, some parents overemphasize their children's academic performance, but ignore the cultivation of their team spirit. Some parents do everything for their children, and children are like marionettes, losing their initiative. There are also some parents who, despite their high cultural quality, do not know how to guide their children and do not care at all, thus affecting their development. Because some parents lack scientific educational ideas and improper methods, although they attach great importance to their children's growth, the result is counterproductive. There are three misunderstandings in family education: 1. Family-oriented view of children: children are the private property of parents, and parents can treat their children according to their own ideas, beating them if they want, and scolding them if they want. 2. Treat children as adults: think that children are adults, influence children with the concept of adults, instill children's adult thoughts, and let children imitate the behavior of adults. 3, think that children are weak: one-sided regard children as ignorant and incompetent vulnerable groups, feel that children lack ability, are weak, and know nothing. Measures 1 Parents should first improve their own quality and establish a correct view of children. Due to improper family education, today's children often lack the ability to resist setbacks, and their psychology is generally fragile. They choose to commit suicide when they encounter difficulties, which is enough to arouse parents' attention to family education and rethink how to be a qualified parent. Jiang Yuee believes that establishing a correct view of children includes three aspects. First of all, children are human beings and should be treated with equal respect. Secondly, children are people in growth and development, and they should follow the laws of children's growth and development; Finally, children are people who will eventually go to society independently. We should give them some time and pay attention to their independence. "Moral education is the main content of family education, and its core is to learn to be a man, instead of simply letting children pass several exams and learn several musical instruments." Jiang Yuee pointed out that the key to family education lies in parents. Family education should be based on improving parents' quality, helping parents understand their special position in quality education, so as to promote good family education. For example, parents should listen to their children's voices and let them express their ideas. Parents should give their children opportunities to form parent-child interaction activities. As for those children who are taken care of by the elderly or nannies, we should give necessary guidance to caregivers and carry out more parent-child activities; For young people who stumble around, we should give help, not discriminate, listen to their opinions, and protect and value the dignity of children. In a word, children know themselves better than anyone else, so in family education, we should take children's needs as the first signal and promote their all-round development as the first goal. Measure 2: Guide the family education guidance program to be a "new parent" Li Hong, director of the Preschool Social Professional Committee of the China Preschool Education Research Association, revealed that it is difficult for primary and secondary school students to determine the content of family education guidance under the heavy teaching tasks. Therefore, the content outline of family education guidance to help parents and schools provide appropriate family education methods is currently being formulated and will be introduced soon. This syllabus divides children into five age groups: 0- 18 years old. According to the requirements of 1 year, four topics are put forward for each age group. A total of 72 topics, including "Don't raise children, let them crawl more" and "It's not a bad thing for children to say' no', so understanding and guidance are very important". In addition, each topic is accompanied by 2-3 activity cases to help parents better establish the concept of family education. Li Hong once said that family education guidance can easily be understood as treating parents as students, or parents passively receiving guidance, but this is not the case. The ratio of parents' participation in guidance activities can reflect the difficulties parents encounter in the face of guidance content, and guide their family education according to the needs of children of different ages. The knowledge and methods of family education in this syllabus include: parents' educational concept, educational attitude towards children, parents' educational ability, parents' positive behavior towards children, etc. There are many forms of family education, which can be divided into individual guidance and collective guidance. Individual guidance includes: interview, telephone, e-mail, home-school contact manual, etc. Collective guidance includes: traditional parent-teacher conferences, special lectures, experience exchange, theme class meetings, parent-child activities in school and parent-child activities outside school. Among them, in the guidance of learning activities for preschool children aged 0-6, the focus is on parents' guidance, not how to guide children to carry out activities, but how parents should lead their children to carry out activities.