1. In terms of language.
First, parents will belittle their children in language.
For example, when children's exam results are not satisfactory, parents will say: Have you not studied hard recently, or why are you so stupid? Others can get 100, but you get 98.
The child's own exam results are not ideal, and his heart is already very uncomfortable. Parents will only make their children feel inferior.
2. Every day.
Secondly, parents will belittle their children in their daily lives. For example, a child's dream, parents refused the child's request on the grounds of unsatisfactory academic performance.
If this happens to be what most children have, then children will be even more sad.
Three. in practice
Finally, parents will belittle their children in practical actions. For example, if a child wants to do something he likes, parents say they don't understand, and they are cynical about the child, thinking that the child can't do such a thing at all, and the child will be greatly hit.
Although most parents want to make their children successful by belittling them, the outcome will mostly make them unhappy.
02 is often belittled? Scold education? Are you aware of these dangers?
1. Lose confidence
If parents often belittle their children, they will make them consider their parents' opinions before doing things and become timid and afraid to try.
In other words, such children actually have no opinions, no matter what they do, they have no backbone, especially when making choices.
In fact, this is a sign that children are not confident. If they attach too much importance to their parents' ideas, they will lose their lives.
2. Become withdrawn and autistic
Parents always habitually belittle their children, and children will become more and more depressed. If these emotions are not properly vented, children will become more and more resistant to communicating with others, and their personality will become withdrawn and autistic.
When we were in kindergarten, everyone lived a collective life. If the child is too introverted, no one wants to play with him. The fewer people he plays with, the more withdrawn he becomes. This is a terrible vicious circle.
Life in the future is not smooth.
If it is difficult for a child to express his thoughts normally, you can imagine how unhappy he will be in his later life.
Often belittled by parents, children will feel that what they say and do is worthless and give up on themselves. Therefore, when you need others' help, no one will lend a helping hand, and it is difficult to solve the difficulties.
Since there are so many negative effects when parents belittle their children, what kind of psychology do parents have to belittle their children?
What kind of mentality do parents hold when they belittle their children?
1. Have great ambitions.
What do China people always believe in? A dutiful son is born under the stick? I think if children want to become real talents, they should bear more scolding, so as to develop strong psychology.
It is with this idea that many parents will belittle their children and deliberately ignore their progress in an attempt to prove themselves by making them excellent.
As everyone knows, such behavior is negative for children, and children will become more inferior, think that their parents don't love themselves, think that their existence is dispensable for parents, and the parent-child relationship is getting worse.
2. Parents are also inferior.
If parents themselves are not good enough and do not have enough right to speak in society, they will feel inferior and vent their work pressure on their children completely.
Although it is ostensibly for the good of children, it is actually entirely out of selfish psychology, and it is ridiculous to ask children to be the ultimate.
I want to motivate my children by hitting them.
How many children have lived in an environment where their parents compare themselves with other people's children since childhood? Maybe parents want to inspire their children's fighting spirit, make them feel ashamed, and then try to surpass those who are better than themselves.
However, the children feel very unhappy. After all, nobody wants to be weaker than others. Even so, it is heartbreaking to hear parents say such an answer.
Parents want to make their children work hard by this means, and they should also properly grasp the heat. Never let your children go to more and more extreme roads, which will not make them better.
In fact, when educating children, parents don't just blame and abuse. If they want to communicate better with their children, parents must make changes.
Often? Despise academic qualifications? How should parents change?
1. Be more patient when communicating with children.
If you want your child to understand something, you don't have to beat and scold. Sometimes telling a child the truth calmly will impress him.
Parents must be patient when communicating with their children, which will make them feel more comfortable and the family atmosphere will not be so depressed.
2. Give priority to encouragement
Encouragement will give children the motivation to work harder. If a child has made progress in some way, parents should not be stingy with their praise. They should not only encourage and affirm their children in words, but also reward them with something they dream of in action.
3. Grasp the art of language and guide children to the right direction.
Surely everyone understands? Bad words in June hurt people? The fact is that parents' harsh language will only make children feel badly hurt and even lose the motivation to try again.
But if parents use warmer language to tolerate and understand their children, it will play a positive role.
Using language to guide children to do something, so that children will patiently accept their parents' suggestions, which is much more effective than parents' cramming education.
What problems should parents pay attention to when communicating with their children? One. Avoid? Contrast? speak
Every child has his own bright spot, and parents should learn to be good at discovering the advantages of children instead of ignoring their self-esteem. Talking about other people's children often makes them feel disgusted instead of inspiring them.
Parents can imagine that if the leader often praises your competitor in the company, even if you don't hate your competitor at first, you will eventually have negative feelings for him.
2. Try to walk into the child's heart.
Many parents think that children can learn well and don't need to develop well in other areas, but some children can do well in other areas without learning well.
For example, I like singing and am good at painting. These are all things that children are really interested in.
If you want your child to have a better future, it is more important to know his inner world and what he is really interested in besides providing a good growth environment.
3. Learn to be a listener
Sometimes children often want to share interesting things that happened at school with their parents, but at this time, parents interrupt their children's talk on the grounds that they are too tired at work, thinking that their children are boring to talk over and over again.
In fact, such parents simply don't know when they will be blessed. How many parents want to hear more from their children but can't get it? Parents who don't want to listen to their children or even get bored are incompetent.
Parents should learn to be a listener, which is also the most direct way to understand their children's inner world and should be cherished.
4. Respect children with empathy
Whether communicating with children or listening to children express their ideas, parents should treat children as an independent individual, show respect like adults, and let children know that they have a very important position in their parents' hearts.
In this way, children will become more and more confident and the parent-child relationship will become more and more harmonious. This kind of empathy is very important.
The relationship between parents and children is not command and obedience, but mutual respect and learning. Children need to grow up. Parents are also parents for the first time, and the educational task is also a long way to go.
Children should learn to respect their parents, and parents should learn to listen to their children. This is a healthy parent-child model.