Ways to teach children honesty.
1, parents lead by example
If my mother is a big fool and is rummaging through things, my father, who has always been careful, sees it and asks what happened to my mother. My mother was afraid of being scolded, so she said? It's nothing. Then children who stand by and watch learn to lie to avoid scolding. So-called? Example is better than words? Parents' words and deeds are often the basis of children's learning and imitation, so parents must set an example and be their children's role models.
Don't blame the child in a hurry.
When a child makes a mistake, parents should first stabilize their emotions, and don't have to get angry or blame loudly, so that the child will not be frightened or frightened, and thus clearly know what the motivation and purpose of the child's lying are. In an objective and calm atmosphere, parent-child interaction will develop positively.
3, clarify the reasons for dishonesty
First of all, we should understand that the reason why children lie is to protect themselves and win the attention of adults, or that children can't tell the distance between stories and real life. So the magic mirror in Snow White's story will make them sometimes have the effect of a game, and sometimes make them afraid. Usually, it is not until they are about five years old that they have certain cognitive differences between reality and fantasy.
4. About this matter
Parents must have an attitude and solve problems, instead of blindly criticizing children or things, so that children lose their self-esteem. You can discuss it with your child like this: Mom will be happier if you tell what happened at that time, but what you just said doesn't seem to have really happened. Do you want to reconsider and think clearly? Using open-ended questions and reserving some space for your child will help him more.
5. Enhance honest behavior.
If honesty is followed by condemnation and accusation, lies will appear again and again; After telling the truth, it can often be solved, and parents can understand it and find a way together. Honesty will become a part of life. So parents should practice emotional control. When you anticipate negative emotions, you can leave the scene temporarily, or talk about it in ten minutes.
6. The Magic of Truth
Not only children, but also parents will find that things are not so complicated and difficult after telling the truth. Anxiety after hiding and happiness after revealing the truth depend on your choice.
7. Give timely encouragement.
You can tell your child that even if he made a mistake this time, his mother is glad that he has the courage to admit it, and I believe he won't make the same mistake again next time. You can also share your similar experiences as a child with him, and let the children know that this is not the worst case. In addition, when the child is willing to admit his mistake, he should be encouraged in time so that he can continue to develop in a positive direction.
The reason why children are dishonest.
1, win the attention of adults
Before the age of six, children are parents except themselves in his world. Therefore, in the process of parents' interaction, children are very clear about what they have done and will attract their parents' attention. When he finds that he has said some exaggerated words or done some inappropriate actions, he can attract more attention from his parents, and children will naturally repeat such behaviors.
2. Rich imagination
Preschool children, because they are in the stage of learning language, especially in games, will start to use hypothetical language when playing role-playing, such as assuming that they have been stolen or robbed; Unsuspecting parents are often intimidated by their children's language. At this time, parents should distinguish whether their children are playing games or their inner imagination. Children's imagination is sometimes beyond their parents' comprehension. In this case, parents need not be too nervous.
3. Protect yourself or pass the buck
Sometimes children lie to protect themselves, but sophistry makes parents mistakenly think that their children lack guilt and shame. In fact, it is precisely because children have a strong sense of academic security that they dare not admit or excuse that they did not do it themselves; Or in his past experience, the result of admitting or telling the truth was severe punishment and fear. In fact, if parents can take a calm attitude when dealing with such problems and ease their children's fears, then they don't have to protect themselves with lies.
Teach children the principle of honesty.
Some parents will blame themselves when their children lie and think that their discipline is wrong; Some parents overreact, as if their children have committed heinous crimes; Some parents don't seem to pay attention to this problem, but let their children not know how to speak. Experts said that in fact, the best attitude is for parents and children to face such problems together and help children find a better way to solve the current difficulties than lying.
How to cultivate children's good habit of honesty
Birth -5 years old
Identify emotions: this helps children understand that people will have various emotions because of what happened. If we have some thoughts about something, such as being angry, upset and happy, it is normal. If we want, we can tell others what we really think.
Parents can read pictures, magazines and books with portraits with their children. Let the children distinguish people's feelings according to their facial expressions. For example, the mother pointed to the picture book that the child looked at and asked the child:
How do you think he feels now?
Why do you think he is angry?
Do you think he is angry?
This kind of dialogue can make children know all kinds of feelings and understand the reasons for this feeling.
When children lie, specifically point out their lying behavior to them. And explain to the child:
Why lying is wrong.
B, the importance of honesty
Avoid asking children if they have told you the truth, because children sometimes have to cover up the truth with another lie. Parents can tell their children that sometimes it may be difficult to tell the truth. If you make a mistake, it doesn't matter, but it is wrong for you to lie because you are afraid of being criticized by your parents.
Explain to children what honesty is in simple and clear language that they can understand. For example, when a neighbor went out at home, it suddenly began to rain, but when he got home, he saw someone put his clothes in, folded them completely and put them in front of his house. Neighbors thought you collected it for them, so they came to thank you and brought you a little gift. But the truth is, you didn't help them put their clothes in. You can tell your neighbors politely: thank you for coming to thank me, but it's not me who helps you collect your clothes.
6-9 years old
Parents can discuss with their children which behaviors are correct and need to be adhered to in daily life. Let the children make a list of what is wrong and what needs to be avoided or opposed. For example:
insist on
Don't steal.
B, keep your promise.
Defend the interests of friends.
D, no rhetoric, no exaggeration.
You must return what you borrowed from others.
Lying and cheating
opposition
A, greedy and cheap.
B, take other people's things at will
C, copy homework.
D, good at catering to others, please others.
Parents can ask their children why those things are important. If you want to express your feelings to others, what ways can you use? If the child can't find the correct answer, parents can ask the child to take out the list and discuss with the child the methods that can be taken. When children fail to keep their promises, parents can set the consequences. For example, parents and children agree that she must finish housework every week to get pocket money, so parents can't give pocket money to children if they don't finish housework.
10- 15 years old
If you find your child lying, don't overreact. If parents loudly scold or punish their children's mistakes, children of this age may lie more and more. If children are found to be lying to themselves, parents can tell their children: I find it hard to believe what you said. what do you think? In this way, parents give their children a chance to tell the truth and prevent them from lying again for the sake of telling lies.
Let children know the family rules, moral standards and principles formulated by their parents. In fact, many children need their parents to give them clear rules. Because then they can understand what kind of behavior can be accepted by their parents.
Encourage children to stick to their beliefs and let them know that sometimes, even if it will lose some friends or be laughed at by their peers, it is more important to do the right thing than to win the welcome of their peers.
If children are found to have different words and deeds, parents should promptly point out and encourage them to point out their parents' mistakes.
The famous American psychologist David? Elkind believes that if children want to be educated and moral, their parents should be noble people first. Therefore, in order for children to form a good habit of honesty, parents should first start from themselves and set an honest example for their children with their words and deeds. When you promise your children, you must keep your promise. If you can't finish it, you should honestly explain it to your child and gain his understanding. Family is one of the most important environments for children's moral growth. It is impossible to cultivate children's integrity overnight, and parents need to make persistent efforts. In this way, the integrity of children can be well shaped.
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