If you don't want to be a soldier, you can try to explain your thoughts to your family in a respectful and understanding way. Here are some suggestions that may be helpful:

1. Understand their point of view: Try to understand why your family thinks you should be a soldier. They may have some reasons and opinions of their own. Listen to their thoughts and express your concern and understanding for them.

2. Explain your position: Try to express your position in a clear and convincing way. You can tell your concerns, reasons and plans, and why you think it is better not to be a soldier.

3. Emphasize your value: Try to emphasize that the reason why you don't join the army is not because you lack courage or sense of responsibility, but because you want to contribute to society in other ways. You can talk about your values, interests and goals and how to achieve them in other ways.

4. Seek common understanding: Try to seek understanding with your family and try to reach a consensus. You can come up with some solutions, such as volunteering, education or work, which can also have a positive impact on your personal growth and community contribution.

Above all, stay calm, respect and understand, and don't get excited or quarrel. Open and respectful dialogue with family members is the key to solving problems.