Mrs. Seagrave, a famous educator, said: "Children must be made to understand that their every move will have different consequences."
Only in this way can children understand the meaning of their actions, not willfulness and recklessness, and they will become responsible regardless.
Only by letting children know that they are responsible for their actions can they think well before doing things, make good judgments and predictions about things, and reduce mistakes or detours.
They will act more cautiously and calmly, and the habit of doing things seriously can benefit children for life. It is normal for children to do wrong things when they are young, which is also the best time to educate them, because at this time, children have no sense of autonomy and are willing to listen to adults. Parents just take advantage of their children's mistakes and let them learn to take responsibility.
When children quarrel or fight with friends while playing, parents of children can't ignore them, let alone criticize them. Don't admit mistakes instead of children, but let children solve their own problems, apologize to friends, and let children realize the trouble they have brought to others. After a long time, children will naturally learn to control their temper.
Children will inevitably make mistakes when they grow up. If parents make excuses for everything, they will never learn how to deal with problems. What parents should do is to guide their children to solve their own problems, sum up experience and lessons through mistakes, and get thinking and progress in every mistake. In this case, even mistakes are valuable.
Therefore, it is very important for parents to react after their children make mistakes and how to guide their children to introspect.
Self-reflection should not be the exclusive right of adults. If children can learn early, it will be of great help to their future growth. The habit of introspection should be developed when children are young. Many children have big problems when they grow up, because they don't reflect and don't realize that they have made mistakes.
Such as lying, selfishness, rudeness, laziness, procrastination and so on. If children have the ability to reflect at an early age, these problems will be discovered and corrected at an early age. If children can reflect, parents can also save the trouble of long speeches, because children can find problems by themselves, so that they will not be bored and dissatisfied because children hate their parents' nagging, which will lead to greater communication problems.
So how to guide children to introspect when they make mistakes?
1. Giving children a period of time is to let them think for themselves. It is best to admit mistakes voluntarily. Some parents like to let their children admit mistakes and criticize them the first time they make mistakes. In fact, when a child is found to have made a mistake, most of the emotions are panic. At this time, they are confused and will subconsciously deny their mistakes.
If parents can leave their children for a period of time, let them calm down and think about what they have just done, so that children can better reflect on their actions instead of being forced to admit their mistakes.
Silence is more powerful than nagging. Parents should learn to use this power of silence. It is definitely more impressive for a child to take the initiative to admit his mistake than to be forced to admit it. Therefore, parents should leave their children a period of time, maybe an hour, maybe a day, maybe a week, after they know that they have made a mistake. Until the child voluntarily admits his mistake.
Don't give children the opportunity to admit or explain. Doing so will not help them recognize the facts, let alone make progress from their mistakes, but will help them learn how to avoid responsibility. Parents use their authority to temporarily suppress their children's mistakes and are likely to make them again in the future.
At the same time, children may have rebellious or fearful feelings towards their parents. They will lie to deceive their parents to avoid scolding or punishment. On the surface, it seems that the child has corrected, but in fact, his heart has long changed.
Therefore, when a child makes a mistake, he should not be asked to admit and correct it immediately. Instead, he should first reflect on himself, know what the real mistake is, and give the child a certain buffer time so that he can learn to admit the mistake on his own initiative instead of being forced to admit it and correct it.
In fact, parents don't need to point out the truth directly, even if they look at the whole process, don't say it right away. This will only make children feel ashamed and embarrassed for the first time. They can deal with children's mistakes coldly first, so that children can realize their mistakes through their parents' attitudes, or parents can tell their children what they have done wrong through stories or TV.