How to educate a bully is the most important thing for many families. Children's stress may come from parents' high demands. Children's personality development has a lot to do with their parents. Those who seriously educate their children will eventually gain something. After reading how to educate bullies, learn to enlighten the little angels at home!
How to educate bully 1 1? Like to play the devil's advocate
Scene:
When watching TV, Wangwang likes to turn up the volume so loud that his family can hardly talk, study and rest. Anyone who wants to say anything about him will make a scene, no matter whether the ground is water or mud, lying on the ground crying.
№ Wrong way:
Mother shouted to Wangwang to turn down the TV. In the case of many calls, she walked up to him one step at a time, grabbed the remote control and turned down the volume herself, and severely spanked Wangwang on the ground.
Results:
Want Want is more noisy, crying and dragging her mother to death. Be sure to get the remote control. I couldn't beat my mother, so I had to give him the remote control.
★ The correct way:
Don't yell at the child if he is fiddling with the volume of the TV. You might as well walk in front of him gently, give him a gentle hint, and then ask him, "Do you know how mom likes watching TV best?" Then guide him to turn down the volume and ask him, "Why does mom like this?"
Second, I can't calm down.
Scene:
When Tintin got home from the community playground, he kept jumping around the house, jumping on the sofa for a while and crawling on the bed for a while. As a result, not only was the room in a mess, but he was also sweating and flushed.
№ Wrong way:
Yell at Tintin and tell him to stop this endless jump. And warned him that if he jumped like this again, he would not eat his favorite chicken leg at night.
Results:
Tintin is still jumping, and his father is furious, ready to catch him and "teach" him a lesson.
★ The correct way:
As a punishment, we can take the child into another hut, let him get rid of the exciting environment, look at him calmly and force him to have a rest.
Third, willfulness: people come crazy.
Scene:
Vivian often drives people crazy. When guests come, they like to throw things, throwing a doll, throwing a small pillow and even kicking a slipper into a pot of delicious chicken soup.
№ Wrong way:
Dad took away everything Vivian could throw and severely reprimanded him for being rude. Even because Vivian didn't listen to the reprimand, she slapped him several times.
Results:
After his father turned around, Wei Wei picked up the slippers around him and threw them forward, hitting him right on the body.
★ The correct way:
If children like to throw things in front of guests, they might as well set nylon targets on the door of the house. When the guests come, ask the guests for permission and let them throw together to see who can throw it accurately. This will distract the child. This not only satisfies the children's desire for expression, but also allows them to learn to restrain themselves from the rules of the game and let the disorder move towards orderly competition.
Fourth, naughty boy.
Scene:
Chao Chao, a 2-year-old, is particularly interested in playing with water: he taps the faucet with his fingers, blocks the outlet, and lets flowing water splash everywhere. If you give him soap or hand sanitizer, he will continue to play with these interesting "toys" until he squanders the whole bottle of hand sanitizer.
№ Wrong way:
Mom is forbidden to go to the kitchen, toilet, anywhere with water, and don't be too close to the water.
Results:
Chaochao sneaked away to play with water while his mother was away. Not only was I soaked to the skin, but I also turned the kitchen into a golden mountain.
★ The correct way:
If it is summer, it doesn't matter if he plays with water. In winter, if you are afraid of him getting wet and catching a cold, you might as well put on a small raincoat and light rain shoes and give him a chance to have fun. After playing for several times, his curiosity was satisfied, and his interest would naturally move to other places, so that the incident of playing with the faucet would not bother his parents again.
V. Bullying people
Scene:
Hui Hui is a famous "bully". He often grabs children's toys, and even goes to the community playground to play with slides. He has to take two slides by himself. Whoever wants to argue with him, he will hit each other hard, even to his parents.
№ Wrong way:
Dad forced Hui Hui to share toys and slides with other children, ignoring his crying and just stopping him from hitting people.
Results:
The next time Hui Hui went to play on the slide, he still occupied the whole slide, and whoever caught him tried his best to hit him.
★ The correct way:
When the child has bullying behavior, you can put the child in a quiet unmanned area, but you should ignore any crying behavior of the child within the sight of the parents. After the child's mood gradually stabilizes, try to communicate with the child and tell the reason why he can't be overbearing.
Sixth, the heart is different.
Scene:
Jiajia is introverted and shy. When playing games with children, if you don't catch up with their speed or progress at first, leave silently, say nothing, and hide your disappointment in your heart. Ask him why he doesn't try to participate, and he will stubbornly say, "I don't want to play yet!" " "
№ Wrong way:
After listening to Jia Jia's words, mother left the playground with Jia Jia.
Results:
Jia Jia reluctantly left the playground, and later became more introverted and unwilling to make friends with children.
★ The correct way:
If you have such a nervous child in your family, you should be a careful parent. When this happens to him, try to figure out his psychology: "He said he didn't want to play, but he was afraid of being rejected by his children." Then, you can take him to see the children and ask them if they can participate in the game. Through such guidance and help, children learn how to express themselves and make friends.
In the face of children's waywardness, remind you:
For a baby under 3 years old, it is difficult for him to predict the consequences of his actions. Therefore, some behaviors caused by his willfulness often bring unexpected troubles to his parents. Faced with this situation, parents should be patient, carefully observe the baby's movements, and issue an early warning at any time to prevent further development of the situation.
1. Parents should let their children know what to do and what not to do, and encourage him to stick to it. You can't always tell your child "just this once today" or "it won't happen again".
2. Don't give in to things that the child goes beyond the behavioral boundaries, otherwise it will only spoil the child and encourage the child's wayward problems, which will be difficult to correct in the future. It should also be noted that parents must be consistent.
3. When the child is willful, parents should be good at transferring the child's interest to transfer his willfulness.
Parents should pay attention to educational methods and be patient. When the child is crying, parents can adopt a casual attitude, so that the child feels that his crying doesn't scare anyone and let him calm down gradually.
How to educate bullies 2 Research shows that more and more children behave recklessly in front of their parents. Some children don't get enough sleep because they don't go to bed on time, some children can't make friends because they are stingy with sharing, and some children can't make friends because they can't get what they want.
Spoiling children and satisfying all their desires, just like being too strict with children, will lead to the dislocation of children's self-worth perception. You need to change your way of education.
Why are these practices problematic?
Parents' obedience to their children may cause children to encounter many problems in their lives. When children can't control their impulses, they may feel negative about themselves and even feel guilty about the consequences they have caused. Children who behave badly at home or are treated as bullies will not only make their parents feel headache, but also encounter difficulties in school life, unable to get along with their peers and even miss the opportunity to learn social survival skills.
The following are the reasons why some children behave badly.
Behave out of line and test parents' endurance; Unwilling to face setbacks; Longing for parents' attention; Show your uneasiness in front of your parents; Feeling unfairly treated, causing retaliation; Feeling angry or depressed about many things encountered in life; Deliberately behaving badly in order to alleviate the marital conflict between parents.
Distract parents from their negative emotions such as stress, anxiety, low tide and conflict through bad behavior, so that parents can care more about their children.
Find a balance between gentleness and strictness
Family researchers found that in a healthy family environment, caring and strict discipline are balanced, which is most conducive to children's growth. Without the care and warmth of parents, children will feel lonely and resentful, but without restraint and discipline, children will become reckless. This core view will not change until now or even in the future.
Our goal is simple, that is, to help children form a correct sense of self and teach them to care for and respect others. To make children happy and successful, we must teach them to respect the needs of others, learn to obey the rules, behave appropriately and know how to control themselves. At the same time, we should also give them love and warmth, encourage them when they work hard, support them when they have unique hobbies, and let them learn to contribute to their families and society within their capabilities.
Parents may fall into many misunderstandings when disciplining their children. First, the age of the child was not considered. For example, in infancy, parents should follow the intimate parenting law and accompany their children as much as possible.
Parents should meet their children's needs in infancy, but as their children grow older, it is best not to always revolve around them. Children should learn to accept setbacks. There is a world of difference between raising children and indulging them. Indulge children is to do what they can for children, and parenting is to let children do what they can. It seems similar, but it is far from it.
Another misunderstanding occurs when parents feel guilty about their children. During the treatment, a mother realized that she had recently neglected her eight-year-old child Matthew because of family changes. Shortly after the couple divorced, their house was destroyed by fire. In the reality of family breakdown and property loss, Matthew was depressed but no one talked about it, so he had many outrageous behaviors. But after his parents began to discipline him carefully, Matthew's anxiety quickly subsided and these behaviors disappeared.
Being a parent is different from being a friend.
Some parents are afraid of conflicts with their children, which will lead to conflicts. Others think it is very important to be friends with children. This often happens to parents who lack the support of relatives and friends.
In children's education, it is very important to have a firm heart. Parents can't educate their children completely according to their preferences and support. Parents' emotions cannot be completely controlled by their children. If children are too casual in front of their parents, they may lack adequate discipline.
Parents should learn to teach their children social skills and emotional management, so that children can learn to face the inevitable pressure and setbacks in life. In addition, don't take the child's willfulness as a burden. This may be a kind of wealth. As long as parents are careful, they believe that nothing is difficult in the world, and nothing is impossible to a willing mind.
Exercise the authority of parents in a strict but friendly way (or rebuild it after losing it), and children will become lovely and easy to discipline. This will be the result that both parents and children expect.