Teach children the great wisdom they need.
Wisdom 1, parents are children's most loyal teachers.
Herbert, an American, said: A good father is better than a hundred teachers? That's what happened. Zhao Xiaolan, a famous Chinese American, said: There is a successful man behind me, my father Zhao Xicheng. He has six daughters, four Harvard universities, one Columbia University and one Mary Women's College. Zhao Xicheng has a saying, what is a successful person? The success of your own career is only half the battle. The real success is to educate your children successfully.
Teach children to be patient and walk with them through his childhood and adolescence. Although there are times when children are crazy and irrational, they unconsciously show us the best side of life at the beginning. The child's vision is frank and the child's perspective is unique. Why don't parents slow down, put their subjective thoughts aside and accompany their children to savor the taste of life quietly?
Therefore, the child's affairs are no small matter, and some things will affect his life. Children have only one chance to grow up and can accompany them to grow up. The time spent on him may be so short that the opportunity is lost and will never be found again.
Wisdom 2. The education of tiger father and wolf mother is not conducive to children's growth
Most parents in China have no special training. Even if there is, it's just what the elders said? Extend a dutiful son? 、? No fighting, no talent? . Parents want their children to succeed and their daughters to succeed, which easily leads to the deviation of family education. A book called Harvard Girl Liu Yiting has sold millions of copies, which is the psychological reaction of parents. Excessive care and care will deprive children of room to grow up. A survey by the reporter of Yangzi Evening News found that many college students don't know how to arrange their lives now. You think, how can a child not consider anything and know how to manage himself?
But too many restrictions and interference go to the other extreme, which will also hinder the release of children's potential. We often condescend: you were born to me. I asked you to listen, but you didn't listen. Find a beat! ? A few years ago, in America, a Chinese-American suggested that parents should do this? Tiger dad and wolf mom? I didn't agree at the time. Even if the child goes to a good university, what about after college? Even if it succeeds, it can only be a case. Because of this, family education is missing? Equality of personality? Those propaganda are misleading parents.
Wisdom 3. Moral people are smarter, which is common sense in education.
The most important task of family education is to build the Great Wall of Personality. It is easy for parents to fall into the misunderstanding that a beautiful man covers all the ugliness. As long as the scores are high and the results are good, parents will be relieved. In fact, knowledge can only control a certain stage, and morality affects a person's life. In my educational career, what I feel most is virtue and wisdom. The defects of knowledge can be remedied, but the moral problems are irreparable.
Wisdom 4. Infinitely believe in the potential of children's development
Appreciation leads to success, and complaining leads to failure. If you want your child to do it, you must cherish every opportunity for your child to grow up, appreciate his growth, and appreciate his words and deeds. The potential of children is immeasurable. Modern scientific research has long proved that the normal brain [Weibo] only uses about 25% of its energy. At present, China, the United States and Russia are conducting brain science research, trying to understand how great human potential is. There is a fact: a 9-year-old child is traveling with his father. The tire burst on the road. Father and son got out of the car and prepared to change the tire. As a result, the jack was broken at this time, and his father's leg was crushed under the car. In desperation, the 9-year-old child actually lifted the car with both hands. Afterwards, people asked the child to lift the car, but he couldn't. Therefore, in any case, we must believe that children have unlimited potential. Didn't Zhou Zhou, a disabled person, become a great conductor? Zhou Ting, a deaf-mute girl, grew up to be the high flyers of a famous American university, which is a masterpiece of her father Hong Chau's appreciation education.
Wisdom 5. Cultivate children's specialties
Family education must not ignore the cultivation of non-intellectual factors, and give children lofty goals, broad interests, warm feelings, strong will and independent personality. The happiest thing for a person is to let himself like one thing, even if it is to grow flowers and raise small animals, so that his spare time and energy can be entrusted.
So, what is the best hobby? Features are the most important. If you have a loving child, you will have a healthy and happy life even if you can't get into a university or a famous brand. I am delighted to find that many post-90s and post-00s children have special skills, some love music, some love painting, some love literature, some love sports and various ball games, some emphasize historical research, some love mathematical analysis, and some pay attention to environmental investigation. Well done! Every child can have a different growth path, but his or her hobby will improve the quality of life of the child.
Wisdom six, reading, sublimate the child's personality charm from an early age.
Reading is the main task of children's growth. But nowadays students seldom read books except textbooks. Generally speaking, children who read a lot will have a broad vision, full spirit, lofty aspirations and persistent pursuit. Those energetic nations in the world, such as Jews, must love reading. The three greatest figures in modern history all came from the Jewish nation: Marx changed people's view of society with materialist dialectics, Einstein established a brand-new view of the universe with relativity, and Freud used psychoanalysis to make people know themselves more accurately. 40% of the rich people in the world are Jews. The largest number of Nobel Prize winners are also Jews. Their reading attitude borders on religion. When a child is born, he paints a book with honey and lets the child lick it, which means that reading can be sweet. They are never allowed to step on books. They each read 60 books a year.
The great wisdom of parents to punish their children.
If you make a mistake, you must be punished.
Children who make mistakes, whether intentionally or unintentionally, will be punished. For example, the child accidentally broke the cup. Although he didn't mean to, he should be told that it was his fault. Although he didn't anticipate the consequences of his actions, he apologized for it. If he is unintentional and dares to admit his mistake, his parents will believe him and reduce his punishment. If he hides the facts and shirks his responsibility, he will be severely punished. Only in this way can we cultivate children's honest and responsible personality from an early age.
In addition, let children know that doing something wrong will be punished. Even if the child asks, he can't promise, otherwise there will be a precedent for cancellation, and the effect of future implementation will be difficult to guarantee.
Punishable? Appropriate sentencing
The purpose of punishing children is for the benign transformation of children, punishment? Sentencing must conform to the child's behavior. Excessive punishment is easy to cause children's confrontational emotions, which is not enough for children to take warning. Therefore, punishing children should be based on the principle of achieving goals, which can neither be underestimated nor abused? Punishment? . Great educator Locke said:? When a child should be punished for the first time, he should not stop until he has fully achieved his goal; And it's getting worse The reason is intriguing.
Punish by the rules.
Parents should negotiate with their children to formulate a reward and punishment rule to let them know what punishment they will get after making mistakes. In this way, children will concentrate on weekdays, thus reducing the probability of making mistakes. When a child makes a mistake, parents should pay attention to adjusting their emotions and don't punish the child at will because of impulsiveness. If children make the same mistakes in the future, they should be punished as before according to the rules, so that parents can establish prestige in their children's hearts.
Show? Way out? specific
Punishing children should not give up halfway, but should require the punished children to make specific corrections before stopping. Parents should have a clear attitude and clearly tell their children what to do, what requirements or standards they should meet, or what the consequences will be. If the child has the habit of littering and doesn't like to clean up, parents should let the child clean up his things and toys when punishing the child; Make it clear that you must do it well, or you will be punished again. Parents must not be vague or even let their children go? Think for yourself? . Parents don't give it? Way out? If children correct their mistakes, there will be no goal and the effect will not be obvious.
It is not good to be punished and rewarded.
Parents should educate their children to cooperate with each other, with the same attitude and clear rewards and punishments. When awarding prizes, we should seriously or even solemnly award prizes, so that children can truly appreciate the joy of winning prizes; Punishment should also be clear-cut and decisive, so that they can know where they are wrong.
Only in this way can we cultivate children's character of distinguishing right from wrong and correcting mistakes when they know them. If one of the parents thinks that the child has been wronged after punishment, and then comforts him, it will make the punishment invalid. Practice has proved: punishment? Reward? The vicious circle of punishment will make children have cognitive bias, wrongly associate mistakes with rewards, and thus make punishment invalid.
Don't hesitate to punish in time.
The effect of punishment partly comes from conditioned reflex, and the shorter the interval between conditioned stimulus and unconditional stimulus, the better the effect. Therefore, once parents find that their children have made mistakes, they should punish them immediately as long as the situation permits; If the situation at that time (such as the presence of guests or in public places) does not allow immediate response, conditions should be created in time afterwards to let the child return to the original similar situation as much as possible. Parents and children should review and summarize the words and deeds at that time together, make him realize the wrong behavior at that time and explicitly ask him to correct it.
Satire is the most taboo.
Parents punish their children for pressure, sarcasm and self-reliance? Did I give birth to the child or did I raise it? And arbitrarily use vicious language to accuse and abuse children. Practice has proved that sarcastic and abusive language has gone beyond the acceptable range of children's reason and will hurt children's self-esteem. So parents should bear in mind that the purpose of punishing children is to help them correct their mistakes, not to stimulate the most sensitive corner of their hearts? Self-esteem Some parents punish their children for their uncivilized language and swearing. The exit is dirty? This has greatly reduced the effectiveness of training and teaching, and even lost its persuasiveness.
Skills of educating children
1, concentration is wisdom.
A truly wise person can look at the overall situation, consider major issues from a macro perspective, be familiar with the key points of interests, and be broad-minded and not limited to trivial matters. It is a kind of wisdom and an open mind to let children focus on what they are doing instead of being disturbed and interrupted by unimportant things.
2. Teach children to speak with facts.
Prejudice is the enemy that prevents people from forming a correct understanding. Accurate judgment comes from the investigation of objective facts, not subjective speculation. As parents, we should guide our children to learn to speak with evidence and facts, treat people and things around us objectively and to the point, and never be biased.
3. Understand children's needs, and don't blindly pursue false reputation.
Only what suits you is the best. When educating their children, parents should really understand their psychological needs and know what they really need before giving them. Don't blindly pursue false reputation. Give him whatever you see others give him. This may not be what he needs.
4, tap the child's talent
When children feel inferior, let them believe that they can be excellent in a certain aspect. In fact, everyone has at least seven basic intellectual skills, such as mathematical logic, language, music, space, body movements and two types of personal understanding.
That is, our ability to understand others and deal with our dreams, fears and troubles. Maybe children don't like writing, but they may be talented in design or have a good eloquence.
5. Be kind to your child's self-esteem.
Parents should not regard their children as too weak, because no child wants to admit that he is weak. In the eyes of adults, they may be just children, and their strength is insignificant, but in their own eyes, they are no different from adults. This is the child's self-esteem and self-improvement.
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