There are many problems for full-time mothers to take care of their children, and the development of children is a matter of concern to relatives. In the process of baby's growth, parents need to have good literacy to educate their baby first, and work together to make their children develop on the next level. Next, I will share many ways for stay-at-home mothers to take care of their children.
Knowledge of stay-at-home mothers 1 In order to better raise and educate their children, more and more women choose to be "stay-at-home mothers". However, a study by Shandong Modern Child Development Research Center shows that most "stay-at-home mothers" care too much about their children, and many people become "full-time nannies". Under the excessive care of their mothers, many children have shown many problems, such as poor self-care ability, weak self-confidence and too feminine boys.
Stay-at-home mothers have many questions about their children.
From July 2006 to July this year, Shandong Modern Child Development Research Center conducted a follow-up survey on more than 800 children brought up by their mothers. The study found that the biggest problem of these children is their poor self-care ability.
Zhang Zhifu, a professor at Shandong University College of Literature, is a member of the research group. He said that the observation of the behavior of these children found that the vast majority of children have poor self-care ability, and some children are seven or eight years old and can't wear clothes and shoes by themselves.
In addition to poor self-care ability and self-confidence, too feminine boys are also the most prominent performance. Cheng Yan, a member of the research group, said that children brought up by their mothers generally lack self-confidence. Many people obviously have the ability to do one thing well, but they often deny themselves before doing one thing, which affects their practical ability and initiative to some extent. In addition, many boys have obvious feminization tendency in speech and behavior because they revolve around their mothers all day, and lack the masculinity that boys should have, which will have an impact on their later personality and psychology.
When it comes to the root of the problem, experts agree that it is the mother's excessive care for her children. Zhang Zhifu said that these "stay-at-home mothers" not only played the role of mothers, but also played the role of nannies and teachers. They can also be regarded as "full-time nannies" in children's life and education. What they have in common in these roles is care and arrangement. After a long time, children become pets in captivity, and they don't know what to do and what to do.
Of course, there are also some "stay-at-home mothers" who bring out good children, but the proportion is very small.
Case:/kloc-A 0/5-year-old boy needs his mother to feed him.
"Dear Mom and Dad, I have adapted to the life in the summer camp. I will eat, wash dishes, fold quilts and wash clothes ... please rest assured. " After the militarized summer camp, Duan Qingyi from Linyi, like other campers, wrote a personal report to his parents.
Duan Qingyi, 15 years old, needs his mother to feed him before going to Jinan for a militarized summer camp. "My mother fed me since I was a child, and I don't know how to cook for myself." Duan Qingyi said that his mother is a "full-time mother". He has never been to kindergarten. Before he went to primary school, his mother had been teaching him to read, read and draw. Every day at dinner, his mother brings him the rice and feeds it to him. He has never done anything like washing dishes, washing clothes and cleaning. My mother persisted in this life for 15 years.
Although his self-care ability is poor, Duan Qingyi's academic performance is very good. In July this year, he successfully passed a well-known high school in Linyi. High school is far from home, so I can't go home for dinner at noon. My mother is anxious: I can't take food to school all day to feed my children. She began to think about cultivating children's self-care ability. Finally, at the suggestion of a teacher, the children were sent to Jinan for a militarized summer camp.
The teacher led by Duan Qingyi said that the children didn't know to wait in line for dinner when they first came, and then they could move under the teacher's reminder. After more than ten days of training, my self-care ability has been obviously improved. I can cook, wash clothes and fold quilts.
Parenting expert: Don't be a "stay-at-home mother" after the child is 3 years old.
Experts believe that "stay-at-home mothers" bring both advantages and disadvantages to children, but after the child is 3 years old, if she still brings her own, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Cao Yunchang, director of Shandong Modern Child Development Research Center, said that with the improvement of living standards, some mothers have the conditions to become "full-time mothers". This survey found that the family economic conditions of "stay-at-home mothers" are relatively good. Some mothers choose to take care of their children themselves, not only because they are worried about the poor care and education of the elderly or nannies, but also because they want to let their children feel maternal love through long-term contact with their children and their feelings. This starting point is correct.
However, after the child is 3 years old, he needs to have his own life and social circle, and he needs to jump out of the companionship care of his parents. Otherwise, it will not only lead to personality variation, but also lead to narrow vision. In addition, after the age of 3, children's sense of independence develops rapidly. If parents do everything all over again, children's self-care consciousness and ability will gradually lose. Most "stay-at-home mothers" have very high expectations for their children, which will inevitably bring pressure to their children. The older the child is, the greater the pressure is.
Learn parenting knowledge and believe that you teach better than kindergarten teachers. Many "stay-at-home mothers" have great confidence in their children's education. Cao Yunchang said that the survey also proved that many "stay-at-home mothers" read a lot of materials and learned some parenting methods in order to teach their children, but most of them didn't understand the psychological characteristics of young children, and some even deliberately copied the success path of others, which was terrible.
He said that there are still many advantages for children to be raised by their mothers before they are 3 years old, and it is best to send them to kindergarten after they are 3 years old. It is particularly noteworthy that when taking care of children, don't treat them as experiments, don't pass on your wishes and dreams to them, and give them space for independent activities.
Knowledge of full-time mothers 2 Full-time mothers are the envy of many working mothers. Most of them have excellent living conditions, and they don't have to worry about food and clothing or make a living. The most important thing is to be able to take care of the children wholeheartedly. In many people's minds, the children brought out by stay-at-home mothers are definitely better than those left to the elderly or nannies in all aspects. But around us, there are many stay-at-home mothers who try their best to take care of and educate their children, but the children they bring out have problems of one kind or another.
First, the case 1 was carefully cared for to raise "small bean sprouts"
Wei Wei had a miscarriage once before because of work pressure, so when Xiaodou was born, she resolutely gave up her job and took care of this hard-won son wholeheartedly. Weiwei has read many parenting books. Since her son was five months old, she has been carefully cooking various complementary foods for him. Wei Wei is very particular about diet. She observes the small bean's stool every day and adjusts the menu according to the characteristics of his stool. Even if the whole family goes out to eat, Wei Wei will prepare the meals of small beans in advance and carry them with her in a thermos bucket. But even so, the height and weight of small beans are far less than those of children of the same age, and they often get sick. Her husband always complains that she can't even look after a child. This made Wei Wei very depressed and anxious.
Expert comment: Qi Yuanli, director of the Children's Psychology Research Office of Guangdong Provincial People's Hospital, said that compared with working mothers, stay-at-home mothers do have more time and energy to pay attention to their children, but many stay-at-home mothers pay too much attention to their children like Wei Wei. This kind of excessive attention, the mother will also have anxiety, and her anxiety will be passed on to her children, even if it is just babbling. Children's spirit is not relaxed, and they can feel attention and pressure all the time, which will inevitably affect their physical and mental development.
Second, case two boys don't like playing with sand and dressing up.
Zijun is 4 years old. His father is an executive of a foreign company and flies around all day. Zijun was brought up by his mother. Last September, shortly after Zijun went to kindergarten, the teacher talked to his mother. The teacher pointed out that sand and water are almost toys that children can never get tired of playing before the age of 6, but Zijun particularly rejected the sand pool and thought it was too dirty. I got a little sand on my feet. Wash and wipe it immediately. When other boys were playing a killing game, Zijun posed in front of the mirror alone. The teacher asked him what he liked best, and his answer turned out to be "shopping".
Expert comment: It is a common problem for many families that fathers neglect to accompany their children, which may be particularly prominent in families with full-time mothers. One reason is that my mother has reduced her income by staying at home full-time, and my father needs to work harder because of the increased financial burden; The other is that some fathers think that mothers can get enough care and companionship for their children at home full time, and they can put more thoughts outside. However, no matter how powerful the mother is, it can't replace the role of the father. Especially for boys, without their father's company, they are easy to be feminized because of the lack of male role models. Therefore, no matter how busy dad is, he should take some time to spend with his children. If it is a boy, take him to play some masculine games, such as playing football. The mother should also take her son to play with other boys to help him integrate into the boy's world.
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