In a word, this is China's parents' deep-rooted concept of children's education for thousands of years.
Parents in China usually have the desire to make their children prosperous and their daughters prosperous, but how many of them are dragons and phoenixes?
This ratio is very small.
Most of us are ordinary people, and a large part of our children may become ordinary people.
As parents, I'm afraid we haven't done enough for our children. We always want to arrange everything for our children, whether these things are really needed by children or not, we must do them well first.
From the moment the child is born, our anxiety is born with the birth of the child.
We will care whether he eats safely and uses the best food. We are also very concerned about whether he can learn something useful for his later life. We will also worry about their personal safety. Will we meet the bad guys being abducted on the way to school (after school)?
When children grow up safely, we begin to worry about their jobs, how much money they can find, and whether their jobs can bring them effective experiences. Can you improve their skills? Will they have a bright future?
When children fall in love and get married, we will worry about what kind of partner they will find and whether their lives will be very happy. What kind of next generation will they have? Should we take care of their grandchildren for them?
In the eyes of parents, no matter how old we are, whether we are married or not, we will always be the child who has not grown up and needs their protection.
In China, parents are a position with no term limit. From the moment the child was born, he took office until the moment he died.
As parents, anxiety has always been a main theme in China's parents' daily life.
As a new generation of young parents after 8090, what kind of anxiety are we facing?
Most of the time, we feel that we are still a child who has not grown up. In the face of a doll younger than us, most of the time we stand on our heads.
Whether the child is three months old, three years old or ten years old, children at each stage will have different problems.
See the move, in the process of fighting with children, we are also growing up with children.
Will be anxious, all the time.
My good friend Sasha, her child is ten years old. She often shows herself in a circle of friends to take her children to various concerts and concerts. The composition is usually: take the children to feel the audio-visual feast, watch and study with them. ........
I once talked to her about this problem. I asked him, how do you feel about arranging so many activities for your children every week? Does he like it? Does he really like playing the piano that much?
She told me the story of her brother and daughter.
That girl is eleven years old. She has been studying piano for five or six years and has passed Grade 9. This summer vacation, she went to many European countries to perform, as well as solo programs.
Although she hasn't graduated from primary school, some local key middle schools have admitted her as a special student in advance. Even though her cultural achievements are not particularly outstanding, the school now pays special attention to quality education and will strive for such talented students.
Finally, Sasha said, even if I force him to do these things now, I will do them. He will be grateful to me when he grows up.
There is only one child in my family, and I can't let him lose at the starting line.
My cousin's eight-year-old child is very famous in the circle of friends recently.
Because he was criticized by the teacher on the first day of school, he refused to study in the classroom. The reason is that he didn't finish his summer homework.
Then why did he go this summer vacation?
Play games.
He installed different forms of games in his grandmother's mobile phone, and each mobile game was taught by himself, which basically passed the test.
We asked my cousin, didn't you check his homework?
She replied helplessly, you know that his father and I are at work from Monday to Friday, and the children are at home with grandma and can come back on weekends.
We actually urged him to do his homework, but he always insisted that the teacher didn't check his homework last summer, so he didn't want to do it this year.
Yesterday, my cousin and husband accompanied the children to do their homework all day, and the children didn't care, and they didn't think it was a big deal not to go to school.
My cousin complained in the WeChat group that children nowadays are too difficult to discipline and it is not easy to be a parent.
My friend Yanzi has been busy looking at the house recently.
Her requirement for the house is that it must have a degree from the best school in Changsha.
I met her once during the summer vacation and also met her daughter. This little girl is very cute. She has just come back from the presiding class and is very polite.
It is said that her activities this summer vacation can be very rich, including English training classes, dance classes, hosting training classes and taekwondo classes.
Her life in summer vacation is not as easy as usual. She often finishes this course and then goes to another place to take a new lesson.
The life of swallows is no easier than that of children. Her daily job is to pick up and drop off the children, help them consolidate their courses when they get home, and then go to her favorite school district to watch the house when the children are in class.
She did all this with only one original intention, that is, to send her children to the best schools.
As my cousin said, it is not easy to be a parent. As parents, we are anxious.
But is there really no way out of all kinds of anxiety?
00 1. We should normalize these problems of children, not make them dangerous.
It is in the process of growing up that every child will have different problems. This is a normal situation, and we don't need to worry too much.
Looking back, will we have similar problems when we grow up? Even if we seem to think how big a mistake we made at that time, we will find that it was actually a big deal in retrospect.
In fact, our children are the same. They may play games, be stubborn and do a lot of things that make you feel ashamed, but we were like this when we were young, and we haven't grown up like this yet.
Letting go is the most effective control.
We always want to control everything about our children and prepare all the food, clothing, housing and transportation for them, because they have set all the growth paths and given them the best future. Actually, think about it, do we have too much control?
The more we want to hold the sand in our hands, the harder we work, but the less sand we have. ?
We only regard children as independent individuals. When we strive to respect them, you will find that our child, as if a different person, is no longer so stubborn, and he can never play games with his mobile phone.
003. Every child has the potential to become a Xiong Haizi, but every child is also the seed of a good child.
If you want your child to become better, you must first make yourself better.
Because our child is a copier, what kind of example we set for him will be what he looks like.
If you want your child to read, first pick up the book in your hand.
If you want your child to be thoughtful, you should answer him seriously when he asks you questions.
If you want your child to be a man of his word, you must fulfill your promise to him.
We all want our children to grow up to be healthy and progressive people, so we must first become jealous people.