Question 2: What should I do if my child is strong? Fruit needs not only sunshine but also cold nights. Cold rain can ripen it. The cultivation of a person's character needs not only joy, but also tests and difficulties. -Black case:
Parents say: I am Doudou's father. Recently, I feel that my son Doudou is too competitive, and I am increasingly worried that this will become an obstacle to his normal and healthy growth in the future. He can't hear the word "bad" at all. As soon as he heard the word, he turned against me, hitting me with his hand or kicking me with his foot. Another example: he can't lose at checkers, and he will be unhappy and lose his temper after losing. And after winning (sometimes we deliberately let him win), he must be very happy. Playing games with children, he can always play the undisputed protagonist, otherwise he will not play with others ... Expert analysis: from the perspective of children's psychology, it is normal for children to lose. In any case, children always hope that they can do better, be better than others, be recognized by people around them and be praised by their parents. However, because children are young and immature in all aspects, it is easy to walk into the dead end of the problem, which is more extreme and emotional, so their competitiveness is particularly strong. Children who can't afford to lose usually have two manifestations: some children will take an evasive and evasive attitude in the face of setbacks and failures. For example, the mother criticized the child for not drawing seriously, which is not as good as Beibei next door. When she heard this, the child simply stopped painting. Another kind of child loses in the game, or can't do anything better than others, he will lose his temper and cry to show off his anger, just like the peas in the case.
Competitive spirit is a double-edged sword. The enterprising spirit includes the psychological qualities of daring to compete, striving to win and being positive. Napoleon once said that soldiers who don't want to be marshals are not good soldiers. Competitive spirit is the driving force for children to move forward. When children are competitive, they will constantly adjust themselves to the best competitive state and make progress in this process of continuous adjustment. At the same time, children can also promote their all-round progress and all-round development through this competitive spirit, so that children can become better.
However, competitive children are often eager to win things. Once they fail, they can't bear the psychological pressure brought by failure, resulting in various problems. It is hard for such a child to bear setbacks. Once lost to others, it is easy to be depressed and decadent, and it is difficult to look at the problem objectively and learn from it. Once you gain an advantage, you are easy to be complacent, blind and confident, and it is difficult to achieve much. Aggressiveness also breeds selfishness, jealousy, vanity and narrow-mindedness. Therefore, how to educate competitive children has become a common concern of many parents. Expert advice: 1, guide children to treat winning or losing correctly and avoid extreme thoughts.
Parents, as children's first teachers, play a very important role in the formation of children's character. To guide children who can't afford to lose, parents should first balance their mentality and don't haggle over their children's temporary success or failure. If they win, they will praise their children greatly. If they lose, they will call their children "stupid", blame them and dislike them. It is easy for children to go to two extremes. If they fail, they will not get up, or they will be competitive. Therefore, many parents should change their ideas, influence their children and let them know that failure is not useless. When a child encounters setbacks in learning and playing games, parents should educate him to overcome depressed and pessimistic thoughts, help the child analyze the causes of failure, and establish a positive attitude to deal with temporary setbacks. You can use historical stories, life cases and success stories as models to let children know that life will not always be smooth sailing. The key is to learn to sum up experience from failures, learn to gain wisdom from setbacks, grow talents from setbacks and make continuous progress. 2. Guide children to correctly view their relationship with others.
Parents can tell their children that what they want to do is not to be angry, but to stimulate their enthusiasm and dare to compete with each other after others win in the lead. If other children succeed, there must be many advantages worth learning. You should learn from each other's strengths and be confident of catching up with or surpassing him next time. The other party should also have such an attitude towards themselves, and eventually form a good atmosphere of comparison, learning, catching up and helping. In fact, the relationship between people is not pure competition. Competition is just a means. The purpose is to let everyone learn from each other and make progress together, so that everyone can find their own value in their later lives. At the same time, parents should also guide their children to feel the psychology of others. Others have also made efforts to get everyone's affirmation like you. If you were him, how would you like others to treat you? Then, please treat others with the same attitude! Moreover, there are no two identical leaves in the world.
Question 3: What should children do if they are too competitive? 1. Guide children to accept their own shortcomings and appreciate the advantages of others.
Everyone is like a silver coin, which has both advantages and disadvantages. Children are no exception. Adults should also keep an inclusive heart to accept children's shortcomings, and don't blame them too much because of their shortcomings, which will only make children more reluctant to face up to their own shortcomings.
So how can children accept their own shortcomings?
Parents should guide their children correctly and don't blame him blindly. For example, when it's time to eat, the baby doesn't eat well and likes to eat while watching cartoons. Mom will be particularly upset, no matter how much she criticizes him, it still doesn't work. At this time, the mother can tell the baby through chat, "both the teacher and the mother think that the baby is a good child, get along well with classmates and be polite to the teacher." But there is one thing that makes my mother very dissatisfied. "Let the child know that he also has advantages by wearing a" high hat "first. Then guide the child to think about what he did wrong. Tell the child that "as long as these shortcomings are corrected, both the mother and the teacher will think that the baby is a very obedient and well-behaved child." "Recognition can make children accept their mistakes more than criticism.
Learning to appreciate others is like a stepping stone to the peak of friendship. I often hear babies complain that their friends are not good. As a parent, don't deny the child's point of view from the beginning. Instead, try to understand the child's statement and tell him that no one is perfect. Although the small partner has shortcomings, it also has many advantages! Mothers can also reminisce with their children and see what their friends have, such as helping the teacher clean the table, and the speeches and stories are wonderful. With the help of mother, children can discover the advantages of others and learn to appreciate and tolerate others.
Case: Kiki went home to complain to her mother, saying that her deskmate was often praised by the teacher in kindergarten, and she thought that her deskmate was better than her in both shooting the ball and drawing. She likes to compare quietly with her deskmate, but she feels inferior to others, so she says she doesn't want to play with her deskmate.
2. Turn children's love for comparison into a driving force for progress.
Children who love to compare with others generally love to be competitive. As parents, we should grasp the psychological characteristics of children, try our best to use this sense of competition to arouse their enthusiasm of not getting angry and not getting angry, and turn the jealousy of children's original love of comparison into motivation. In the above example, the deskmate was praised by the teacher for a long time. Mom can talk it over with Kiki. Why is the deskmate so recognized by the teacher?
It turned out that my deskmate performed well in all aspects. She will listen to the teacher's arrangement, finish her homework carefully, answer questions actively in class, and is excellent in all aspects. Not only does she do her homework well, but many literary talents dare to do it. This is why teachers often praise deskmate loans. Mom can ask Kiki next, how can she get the teacher's approval like her deskmate? I believe that under the inspiration of her mother, the child will soon understand that as long as she can be as good as or even better than her deskmate, the teacher will give her affirmation.
Case: Lili and Lingling are two children who live upstairs and downstairs. They are classmates. Lily is talented and hard-working, so her academic performance has always been good. Ling Lin's talent is a bit poor. Although she is willing to work hard, her grades are not as good as Lili's. Lingling's mother compared Lingling with Lili and said, "There is nothing worse than Lili in my family, that is, you are worse than Lili." As a result, Lingling felt that she was a stupid child and her study was getting worse and worse.
It is not easy to compare children with others.
I often see many parents shouting at their children, "Look at yourself, you are not obedient at all." "Who do you think is as smart and obedient as your children? Why are you so disappointing? " In fact, this kind of education by parents seems to be well-intentioned, but it is easy to make children feel inferior and frustrated, which affects their self-confidence.
Children's observation ability is very strong, even if no adults compare them with others, they will involuntarily compare themselves with other children. They also have their own cognitive and evaluation system. If parents compare their children with others at this time, it will undoubtedly make things worse.
As parents, how to educate their children correctly is a very important thing. Comparing one's own children with other children, this kind of education is widespread. In the view of social psychologists, compared with others, it plays two important roles in one's psychological growth: the first is to know oneself. Everyone knows himself in the process of communicating with others, so everyone aims at others. The second is to set goals. People find themselves in comparison with others. > & gt
Question 4: What should children do if they are too competitive? 1) Taking part in sports is the best way to cultivate children's character, and sports can satisfy their desire to win. In addition to the positive side, competitiveness also has its potential negative effects. Actively encourage and give correct guidance to enterprising children, so that enterprising spirit can truly become the driving force for children's progress.
(2) Recommend right-brain books, so that children can transfer their competitive spirit to the study of textbooks. Through the teacher's teaching, applying children's competitive spirit to learning can not only improve their potential quickly, but also understand the competitive spirit through their brains, so that children can understand that self-confidence is more important than competitive spirit.
Question 5: What should children do if they are too competitive? Case: The child is over 5 years old, and I can't see that others are better than myself. He must strive for the first place in everything. If he can't achieve his goal, he will be depressed and even play a little temper. I don't think this is good for his children. How can we educate him well? Analysis: After the self-awareness develops to a certain extent, children will gradually like to confirm their skills and values through intentional or unintentional horizontal comparison, which is the source of competitive awareness. Therefore, for children in this period, competition should be said to be an instinct. Of course, children like to be competitive, or it may be because their parents inadvertently give them such a hint that children are happy if they perform well, unhappy if they perform poorly, and success or failure is at stake. Over time, children have formed an illusion: mom and dad only like the best me, and if I lose to others, they may not like me. Therefore, children's aggressive behavior is to please their parents.
Question 6: Children are too competitive. What should I do? It's good to have a strong child, but it's not good to be too strong. Aggressiveness refers to a person's psychological tendency to be dissatisfied with the status quo, strive to surpass himself and others and strive for greater success. It is the nature of every child to be competitive. Scientific research shows that from the age of 3, children have a sense of competition and begin to take their parents and others as their reference. By comparing with others, they show their differences and gain a sense of accomplishment.
Many successful people have a strong competitive spirit when they are young. Margaret Thatcher, the first female prime minister in Britain, was a very competitive person when she was a child. Her father once taught her to always sit in the front row. Aggressive children always want to be the first in everything, have a strong enthusiasm and desire for learning, dare to compete, dare to fight, and are excellent in many aspects.
So, why do children show aggressive psychology? When studying the psychological characteristics of teenagers, experts found that competitive children mainly want to show their strength and wisdom. In most cases, to be competitive is to show your ability in front of your peers. In other words, to be outdone in front of peers is the beginning of a child's competitiveness. After that, children will gradually show that they will strive for the first place in their studies, be brave in competition in various activities and show their talents.
Therefore, if parents find that their children are very competitive, it is actually a very good thing, which shows that your children are unwilling to be a weak person, have a strong enterprising spirit, will study very hard and maintain a strong thirst for knowledge.
Competitive spirit has such great benefits, does it mean that the stronger the competitive spirit, the better? My answer is: no. There is a limit to everything, and so is competitiveness. Proper competition helps children learn, while excessive competition will hinder children's learning and growth.
Children who are too competitive, such as their mothers' daughters, often have conflicts with others. Because excessive competition will produce an overwhelming idea, that is, be brave and enterprising, and don't give up until you reach your goal. It is easy to leave a bad impression on other children and stay away from your own children. Over time, children will become withdrawn and self-enclosed because of lack of friends. On the other hand, being too competitive will also make children lose their endurance. They only recognize victory and defeat in everything, but they don't know how to respect and tolerate others, which will make him more and more indifferent and utilitarian.
On the other hand, a child who is too competitive can't bear failure because his heart is full of victory. Once one day he encounters setbacks or failures, he will have great mood swings and even mental illness because he can't bear it.
Therefore, in the face of a child who is too competitive, parents must give reasonable guidance and correct education to keep his competitive spirit at a suitable level, which will really become the driving force to help him move forward. Having said that, parents must want to know how to guide competitive children. I am here to tell you.
First, parents should not suppress their children's "excessive competition", but should guide their children to areas worthy of competition. Children who are overly competitive show that they must strive for the first place in everything, and strive for big things and small things. At this time, parents may wish to give him a distinction, encourage children to fight where they should fight, and persuade them to face it rationally where they should not fight. For example, in learning, parents can encourage their children to compete and tell them that "knowledge is power"; In eating and doing activities with friends, children are told that "friendship comes first" and they should know how to be polite and respect others.
Second, teach children to follow the principle of "fair competition". Children who are too competitive are often excited once they are in a competitive state, and sometimes they can't control themselves and take some extreme or improper measures. Some children "cry and make a scene" once they lose, and even rush to hit each other directly, while others play tricks behind their backs to win. Once such a move begins, it will flood and eventually lead to very serious consequences. Therefore, when parents find signs, they must try their best to convince their children to understand the principle of "fair competition".
Third, guide children to treat success or failure correctly. Children who care too much about winning or losing can hardly bear the blow of failure. Therefore, teaching children to face success or failure calmly is an important means to prevent them from being too competitive and control them. First of all, parents should not be too strict with their children, nor should they often compare their children with other children. Instead, you should play games with your children more and balance their winning and losing mentality in the game. For example, when playing cards or chess with your child, you can consciously let the child lose, and then it is not important to teach him to win or lose in a relaxed conversation. The process and tangible gains are the most important. It can also be used for children ... >>
Question 7: Children are too competitive to lose. Most children have similar experiences. As long as the kindergarten teacher doesn't let you take it home in advance and let him cry enough, the more he cries, the worse he gets. After several times, he knew it was useless to cry, and he would get better gradually. The key is to let the teacher take care of you a little, and not be soft-hearted, otherwise the child will suffer. You can introduce him to other children and ask them to take him to play. Older children will be very happy. Go home and talk to your children more about kindergarten. An introverted child needs the attention of others most. He wants to go to kindergarten every day, which shows that he is very smart and not very introverted. Just a little strange to the environment. I've seen parents drag their feet all the way, and children cry and don't want to go to kindergarten. It will be over a week. Your baby is very obedient. As long as parents are not used to it, children are no more stubborn than adults. Persuade people with reason, step by step. If you are really strong, you can't put too much pressure on him. Just let nature take its course. We'll talk about it after kindergarten.
Question 8: What if the child is too competitive and can't afford to lose? We should educate and guide him slowly. Remember: don't rush for success, beat and scold children. Tell your child it's okay (including all kinds of games, etc.). ) Only by yourself can you become the first. No one in this world is a ever-victorious general. There are winners and losers. After a long time, children will gradually change their behavior.
Question 9: Children are too competitive. What should they do first? 1. Children just want to be the first. They must have their "historical background", which is often related to their parents themselves. Either parents intentionally or unintentionally give their children a psychological hint of being competitive, or parents pay too little attention to their children, resulting in their children not being recognized, so they try their best to attract their attention and strive for his position in their parents' minds. 2. Children grew up in praise, lacking reasonable criticism and necessary punishment, and their psychology is very fragile. Now they advocate appreciation education. "You are great" and "You are so smart", and the voice of praise is invincible. Parents always praise their children too much and hold them too high, giving them the illusion that I can do anything, I am the best and I am the smartest ... Over time, children only like to listen to praise and praise. 3. Where parents arrange, children have no chance to experience difficulties and solve difficulties. The child wants to fold the quilt by himself and is in a hurry. However, his mother said, "You are so small, how did you make such a big quilt?"? Mom will do it, you go and play! " The child wants to wash his own clothes, and his mother says, "Where are you clean?"? I'll do it! " "Parents always help their children take care of everything in their lives. They don't have to worry about anything, they don't have the opportunity to face the difficulties in life, and they don't try to solve them. The kindness of parents makes children lose the opportunity to try and the desire to work hard, which is by no means a help! This can only make children unable to bear setbacks, deception, escape, retreat and give up. 4. Parents eliminate all interference and create a smooth sailing environment. Children lack adaptability and adaptability. Parents always want to do their best to provide the best growth environment for their children. Children have been smooth sailing since childhood, pampered, and have no hardships. When faced with pressure from others or society, children lack the ability to adapt to the environment and resist setbacks. When they fail, how can they "fail"? How to make children lose: 1. Help children to establish a correct sense of competition and success or failure. Don't think children are young. In fact, many truths are subtle in daily life. Let children understand that everyone will face challenges and setbacks in the long journey of life. Only by accepting that "victory and defeat are common in military strategists" and "failure is the mother of success" can we have confidence and courage to overcome difficulties. With the accumulation of losing, there is hope of winning! Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. You can't be strong in all competitions. It's natural to lose and win in the game, so accept it! The pursuit of success in something is not for praise or vanity, but for heartfelt love. Interest is a kind of motivation, from which we can get happiness. Therefore, "success" means doing one thing wholeheartedly, not defeating others! 2. Growth is more important than success, and progress is the harvest. Maybe every child will go through the psychological stage of "can't afford to lose". Don't worry, let the children grow up slowly and gradually understand that growth is more important than success, and enjoying the process is more important than victory. Guide children not to take "results" as the only focus, as long as children are brave enough to try and work hard, that is the greatest progress. Children find a lot of fun in the game, have a good time, and have enough patience to insist on completing one thing. These are all gains. Even if you fail, it doesn't mean that you are useless. Parents should help their children analyze the causes and seek solutions.
Question 10: What should children do if they are too competitive? 1) Taking part in sports is the best way to cultivate children's character, and sports can satisfy their desire to win. In addition to the positive side, competitiveness also has its potential negative effects. Actively encourage and give correct guidance to enterprising children, so that enterprising spirit can truly become the driving force for children's progress.
(2) Recommend right-brain books, so that children can transfer their competitive spirit to the study of textbooks. Through the teacher's teaching, applying children's competitive spirit to learning can not only improve their potential quickly, but also understand the competitive spirit through their brains, so that children can understand that self-confidence is more important than competitive spirit.