Boys are violent and crazy in the rebellious period, and children's growth needs care. Many times, we adults can't guess what they think, so we must communicate with our children more and try our best to solve the problems that arise. Let's share the boy's violence and madness in the rebellious period.
The boy's rebellious period is very violent and crazy. With the constant change of time, children will soon be in this stage of adolescence, which is also called "the most headache stage for parents", because parents seem to have no way to beat and scold their children, for fear that their children will have any excessive behavior.
Usually when parents quarrel with their children, the children may ignore their parents, go to their grandparents' homes for help, or stay at their classmates' homes for a while to calm both sides down. However, adolescent children who quarrel with their parents are likely to commit suicide and kill their parents.
Some parents may think it seems incredible and exaggerated, but it does happen. Recently, there was a news that a 13-year-old boy killed his mother because of lax discipline, which aroused the concern of the broad masses of the people. This was supposed to be a common quarrel. It seems that every family's behavior has led to such a great tragedy. Let's reflect on the way we usually educate our children and the way we communicate with them.
Professor Li Meijin believes: "Parents need to know what their children think, otherwise all their efforts will be wasted." In fact, these behaviors of children in adolescence are all because children begin to yearn for inner freedom and think that parents hinder their pursuit, but children do not consider the consequences of pursuing freedom at this stage.
Therefore, parents must use the right methods to help their children achieve the goals they want to achieve at this stage and help them get through this stage smoothly. So, how should parents face the boy's adolescent temper?
1. Parents should not fight violence with violence.
It is normal for adolescent boys to have a bad temper and lose their temper easily. Parents should be considerate of their children. As long as their behavior is not too excessive, parents had better leave their children alone. After all, everyone grows up from this stage of adolescence, so they will feel deeply.
If the child makes a mistake in principle, parents should not confront the child. After all, if a stone touches a stone, it will only hurt both sides. Therefore, violence is not the best way to educate children, and it is easy to stimulate children's hearts and make them violent. It is best for parents to communicate with their children calmly and find out their irritability. For example, some children don't like their parents to enter their rooms in adolescence, so parents can stay away from this kind of irritability to avoid their children losing their temper.
2. Don't irritate adolescent boys
Some parents think that children love to lose their temper because they love their children too much, which leads to their behavior. Therefore, these parents will use violence when their children lose their temper, and they will also anger their children many times, so that children will know that they will be severely punished as long as they lose their temper, thus putting an end to the phenomenon of children losing their temper. However, if this happens for a long time, the child's heart will always be suppressed, and it is very likely that it will all explode one day. We didn't know the seriousness of the matter at that time, so parents must not stimulate their children to lose their temper.
Moreover, it will do great harm to children's health. After all, there is an old saying that "long anger hurts the liver." Secondly, stimulating children's emotions will intensify the contradictions of things and enlarge the original small things, which is not conducive to solving the problem. Finally, it will affect the feelings between parents and children, and it is easy for children to be separated from their parents. Therefore, parents must treat boys who stay in adolescence rationally.
3. Don't stimulate children's negative emotions.
If parents find that their children are not in the right mood after school, they can tentatively ask if they have any worries. If the child is willing to talk, that is excellent, but if the child is unwilling to talk, then parents should not force the child. After all, constant questioning will aggravate their negative emotions.
Children's emotions are intensified, which is not conducive to the solution of the problem. Therefore, parents should give their children time to calm down and leave them alone in the room to think about what happened. When the children figure it out, they don't have to worry about it, and things will be solved naturally.
The best way for parents and children to get along is to talk about everything like friends, instead of quarreling in a few words like enemies. I hope parents can control their emotions and spend this headache with their children.
Boys are grumpy and crazy in the rebellious period. What should parents do in the rebellious period?
1, understand the child's feelings
Parents should not put themselves on the opposite side of their children, but learn to stand in their children's position and feel their feelings with heart.
2. Find out the psychological reasons for resistance.
Understanding doesn't mean not making rules, but when making rules for children, parents can't help but "enforce" those rules that he has been resisting. It is to find out the reasons for the child's resistance and find ways to solve it.
3. Find an outlet for emotions
Many times, children will deliberately do things that adults don't allow, so as to vent bad emotions or anxiety. Therefore, parents should not scold or punish their children when they lose their temper.
4. Look for children's good performance.
Praise can indirectly make children understand right and wrong, so parents should pay more attention to some good performances of their children and praise them in time.
5. Give children some autonomy.
Since the child is in a rebellious period, parents should not make rigid rules on some things, but conditionally let the child enjoy democratic rights.
6, can't everywhere constraints
Children are children. You can't bind him everywhere with your standards. It is best to "control his behavior".
Rebellious children think that they are adults and can handle everything well, and they don't want their parents to interfere in their own affairs too much. Over time, when they come out of the rebellious period, they can understand their parents' pains. All discipline is parents' selfless love for their children, and parents will find that their children seem to grow up suddenly overnight.
The boy was violent and crazy during the rebellious period. 3 avoid interrupting your son.
Nothing can stop your son from finishing his speech like interrupting his train of thought. Let's face it, most of us have made this mistake, because we may think we want more, or have predicted what they will say.
Although most boys nowadays are proficient in high-tech products, they may have poor communication skills. For example, they need your help, even for a few more minutes, allowing them to express themselves completely and encouraging them to defend themselves.
Avoid verbal disputes.
It is necessary to find out whether to answer or not to answer the questions asked. For example, for most teenagers, something like "Where are you going?" "When will you come back?" "Who are you going with?" Such questions must be answered, not superfluous.
In this case, unless you answer the question, you will be at your own risk. Similarly, if you ask a question, you don't need to answer it (for example, how was school today? ), it is necessary for mothers to declare before asking, "Don't say it if you don't want to say it."
notify in advance
Tell him in advance the time and topic you want to discuss with him. We can't expect him to take the initiative to speak, but we will provide him with the necessary time to preprocess the upcoming conversation and collect his possible ideas.
Don't "speak"
Condense the dialogue into several points, and then ask the children to respond to these points. Being specific can reduce the poor communication and keep him talking. In addition, let him answer every question, so that parents can have a deeper understanding of their children's problem-solving process. At the same time, it is also necessary to ensure that parents participate in the dialogue, rather than children singing a monologue.
Questions and objections are allowed.
If parents don't let their children disagree, it's just because they think they are always right, which is a manifestation of excessive control and will make children close their hearts. Once they resist your questions, their ability to think independently will be suppressed. Then there will be no chance to question or express your opinions, and the possibility of communication will drop sharply, thus making boys lose their desire to communicate with you.
Don't treat your teenage son like a child.
The most common reason why teenagers stop communicating with their mothers is that they think their mothers still talk to them like three-year-old children. They've heard enough "Didn't I tell you?" In that case. Many mothers are always admonishing, reminding, belittling, reprimanding or admonishing them. This will only make them feel like losers, and their guilt will increase day by day.
Set a good example for children.
Parents must be strict with themselves in their daily lives, set up a good image in their children's minds, make them feel that their parents are the best, and be proud of having such parents. This has laid a good foundation for the normal communication between parents and children. Don't vent the pressure between work and husband and wife on children, learn to control your emotions, don't lose your temper with children casually, and don't be moody.
Homeopathic methods to solve children's emotions
This is a psychological method. When a child has a strong rebellious attitude towards his parents, he will deliberately do something to anger his parents, with the aim of angering them. If parents are led by their children, they will fall into a very passive situation and bring the parent-child relationship to a deadlock. However, parents unexpectedly accepted his behavior and calmly accepted his resistance. Children will feel that they have cotton and have no efforts, thus changing their attitude and communicating with their parents.
Contact the teacher in time
You know, rebellious children are difficult to manage not only at home, but also at school. Therefore, it is necessary to maintain normal and relatively frequent contact with school teachers, especially class teachers, to understand the situation of children at school at ordinary times, and to get news in time, and to deal with bad situations in time. Schools should also arrange adolescent counseling education and training for children of this age. Families and schools work together to help middle school children spend a beautiful youth.