1, and most importantly, give the choice back to the child.
Nowadays, in many families, parents' desire for control is too strong, which will not only make parents feel anxious, but also make children feel anxious. Parents who are too controlling will cultivate a younger generation with no direction and goal, poor self-management ability and no "internal drive".
Whether studying or living, please ask parents to return the control to their children and tell them clearly that learning is your own business. No matter how your grades are, whether you have finished your homework or not, you are responsible for yourself. Because you have the right to "control your own life", you have an internal driving force. This truth is the same whether it is placed on children or adults.
2. Respect the expression of children and give them positive encouragement.
Adolescent psychologists say, "Love education is the best education." Instead of using impact education to cast a shadow over children's lives, it is better to let love become the background for children's growth. Children's greatest self-confidence comes from their parents' encouragement. "Good boy loves to brag." The more encouragement children receive, the better their behavior and personality will be.
For children, parents' applause and encouragement means affirmation and praise, which will make children full of confidence and motivation and make their lives more exciting!
3, the internal drive is brought into play, leaving the play time to the children.
Play is the foundation of children's learning. In childhood, they rely on games to form learning experience to construct and deconstruct the world. Therefore, parents may wish to create a play atmosphere and let their children have a play mentality, which can enhance their creativity and help solve problems of insight and logic!
Brief introduction of internal driving force
Educational psychology divides the motivation to motivate children into "internal motivation" and "external motivation". It can also be called "internal drive" and "external thrust". The so-called "internal drive" comes from the child's heart and actively promotes the child to pursue his own goals. Because this is the "active" participation of children, there is no need for temptation, cajoling or reward in the process of participation.
On the contrary, "external thrust" comes from external factors, usually to get rewards or avoid punishment. For example, many parents like to encourage their children to get good grades or complete a certain task through various rewards, which is "external drive".
Is the external hard disk useful? It is useful, but it will never be more effective than internal drive. The difference between external drive and internal drive is that the former is much stronger than the latter, because internal drive is a more lasting learning motivation! Moreover, once the external driving force is used improperly, it is easy to backfire.