Keywords: psychological counseling strategy
Scene 1: On campus, a pair of female middle school students are holding hands, talking and laughing side by side, and they are intimate.
Scene 2: In the canteen, a pair of boys eat together, help each other with food, and occasionally feed each other.
Scene 3: In the dormitory, a male middle school student was in tears and was in pain. Because he couldn't please his "good friend" and was in a bad mood, he cut himself with a blade. ...
This is not a scene in film and television works, but a real event in some middle school campuses today, which objectively exists in some middle school students. When we face the first shot, we will treat it calmly and think it is normal; But in the face of lens 2 and lens 3, you will be surprised: what happened to middle school students now? Before, people were still exhausted by "puppy love", premature sexual behavior, internet addiction and other problems. Why do some of them turn into abnormal "homosexual" tendencies or behaviors?
This phenomenon is called "middle school students' situational homosexuality", which refers to the tendency and behavior of middle school students to choose the same sex as the object of mutual love and assistance in view of the specific situation on the middle school campus [1].
With the development of the times and the reform of education, these events surfaced. They are inevitable problems in the past, present and future, and are not unique to this generation of children. It's just that today's children know how to express themselves, get help and grow up healthily, but for various reasons, they still need to face many difficulties. At present, the educational research on puppy love and sexual behavior of middle school students has a certain foundation, but there is little research on situational homosexuality of middle school students. Therefore, in view of this situation, this paper makes a case study of situational homosexuality among middle school students.
1. Research purposes and methods
Although homosexuality is no longer classified as morbid in our country, and more and more people have accepted the concept of homosexuality as morbid and no longer regarded it as a moral issue, most homosexuals in our country are still in a secret or semi-secret state. Not to mention middle school students (although it is not easy to define homosexuality at present, that is to say, in terms of sexual orientation, most of them are still in the transitional zone of homosexuality and bisexuality), few people know this except their individual friends. The case in this paper, because of its unbearable pressure and strong desire for treatment, went to the psychological counseling room of our school for psychological counseling accompanied by the class teacher and friends.
The purpose of this study is to (1) study and analyze the situational "homosexuality" mental health of middle school students through psychological counseling. (2) Analyze the reasons of situational "homosexuality" among middle school students. (3) Analyze the situational "homosexual" psychological counseling and sex education strategies of middle school students.
The subjects of this study: two middle school students who came to seek help from psychological counseling, including boys 1 and girls 1. The client is male 17 years old and female 18 years old, and is a key high school student.
This research procedure: the case study is conducted through interview consultation, telephone consultation and communication consultation. Natural observation, verbal communication, psychological counseling and psychological crisis intervention were adopted.
2. Middle school students' situational "homosexuality" mental health status
(1) remorse and guilt
Students with homosexual tendencies are prone to blame themselves and feel guilty when facing their own situation. The case boy involved in this paper (hereinafter referred to as Xiao B) is an excellent student in moral character, study and talent. When he thinks he is gay, he can't face his family, teachers and classmates, and because the nickname "sissy" given to him by classmates satirizes him, he can't establish his sense of self-identity. Girls (hereinafter referred to as little Z) get along well with their classmates. The students around her are very considerate of her, and they also like * * *. She knows it's not good, but she can't control herself, so she feels a lot of guilt. Faced with the help and understanding of her classmates, she couldn't forgive herself.
(2) Unreasonable cognition
Middle school students' understanding of homosexuality is not comprehensive, and they often have their own subjective judgments. Once one of their behaviors matches the "homosexuality" seen in books or on TV, it is easy to label themselves. Under the influence of traditional education in China, children easily associate homosexuality with negative events such as filth, ugliness and AIDS, and think that "I am an abnormal person", "I am a person with psychological problems" and "people like me have no future". They can't identify with themselves, and they don't know how to treat the problem of "homosexuality" dialectically. Teachers and relatives have high hopes for Xiao B. He always feels that if others know that he is "gay", everything will be over. Little Z often feels very sad and sad about the help of some friends. She feels that she is a person with problems and is not worth their efforts. Sometimes I feel that others do this on purpose, just to let myself know that "I am gay" and "I am a sick person".
(3) Abused behavior and suicidal tendency
Situational "gay" middle school students can't get rid of the psychological troubles caused by some sensitive problems, and they always have the idea of ending their lives. For example, Xiao B has had the habit of self-harm since junior high school. When he encountered this psychological problem, he cut his upper arm with a blade. In June this year, he scratched his arm 45 times in a row. If someone mentions "Why are you so kind to * *" in front of him, "You are." For example, some sensitive issues, he will want to kill himself to end all kinds of troubles. Xiao z punishes himself mainly by not eating or sleeping, and closing himself off.
3. Analysis of the causes of situational "homosexuality" among middle school students
To analyze the causes of situational homosexuality in middle school students, we need to analyze and discuss it from the stages of physical and mental development of middle school students, the social environment they live in and the level of ideological understanding they have reached.
(1) physiological factors
Middle school students in this period are in the stage of physiological development, and the phenomenon of "precocious puberty" is widespread. Vague sexual consciousness urges them to try and experience through various channels. Too much information, especially the stimulation of bad information in their minds, often leads them to seek sexual satisfaction through unhealthy means. For example, middle school students will actively imitate love. Once they fail, their sexual orientation is likely to change and transfer to same-sex intimate partners. Naturally, it is easy to become the object of mutual experience.
(2) Family factors
Middle school students are mostly only children, and their parents are busy with their work and have limited time to get along with their children. For sex education, parents generally don't communicate positively with their children. More parents think that the most fundamental task of children is to learn well, and the rest will be discussed later. In this case, Z's parents regard learning as the only criterion for evaluating their children. Since childhood, she has resolutely opposed children making friends, studying and playing with boys, so there has never been a shadow of boys in her circle, and she is with girls all day.
The relationship between husband and wife has an important influence on the growth of children. Little B has a bad relationship with his parents since he was a child. The main reason is that his father has an affair. He hated his father, especially the aunt, and later began to hate his mother. He believes that his father's affair is related to his mother's incompetence and courage. Over time, Little B became "hostile" to women and gradually spread to all women.
(3) Social factors
With the increasing contact between middle school students and campus, they are increasingly affected by social unhealthy phenomena. There are homosexual and violent tendencies in society, especially related film and television works and literary works are impacting middle school students at an unprecedented speed. Although these adolescent middle school students are curious, their psychological development is not yet mature. After long-term positive sunshine education, they are more likely to have a strong interest in some negative things in society.
4. Effective psychological counseling strategies for middle school students with situational homosexuality.
(1) Let nature take its course and avoid well-meaning suggestions.
Most students with homosexual tendencies are secretive, and their lives seem calm. Like everyone else, nothing special. But in fact, their hearts are very depressed. They are typical "two-faced people": on the one hand, they should cover up and let themselves live a "safe" and "normal" life through this cover-up; On the other hand, they are also taking risks in secret. If possible, they will "confess" their favorite companions or make some "love" actions. This makes their hearts full of contradictions and anxiety.
In this case, Xiao Z's friends know her situation and try to change her sexual orientation with their own words and methods, such as "don't spend more time with girls" and "communicate more with boys". As a sophomore, Xiao Z understands these truths, but she just can't. "You need time to change slowly and try hard." The kindness or experiential help of friends made Xiao Z feel rejected, so the psychology of self-blame and guilt constantly troubled her.
Let nature take its course: if you are troubled by homosexual orientation, try to let nature take its course and don't prove yourself to be gay in your own way; If someone has fallen in love with and depends on the same sex, try to face this fact naturally and don't hate yourself or each other; Try to let nature take its course when dealing with interpersonal relationships around you, and don't care too much about what others say and do, whether it's good or bad.
The most important determinant of this kind of students' psychological condition is whether their classmates, teachers and parents can agree with them. As parents, classmates and teachers, don't insult and satirize them, but accept them with tolerance, equality and unconditionally. If you can unconditionally accept them as partners or friends, you can help them build a sense of security and self-worth.
A question repeatedly mentioned by middle school students in this case is "If students know, how can I face them?" "Will the teacher still look at me?" Their hearts are particularly eager to be recognized by others, and they are always afraid that their classmates will laugh at themselves and that their teachers will look down on them. In fact, students at this time are likely to return to normal sexual orientation. If they are not recognized, they will be lonely, feel no sense of belonging, suffer, be at a loss, be confused, can't pick me up, and start to try homosexual behavior.
Adolescence is a critical period of decisive orientation and an active period of forming homosexuality. At this time, the students were in the second psychological weaning period and were very rebellious. Therefore, what we need to do is to minimize well-meaning suggestions and empirical preaching, and help each other naturally face sexual orientation.
(2) cognitive adjustment to prevent problems from recurring
Teenagers' social experience is relatively shallow, because their outlook on life and values are still incomplete, and their cognitive model is relatively simple, so they can't look at problems dialectically. Especially for middle school students' gay help-seekers, many of their psychological troubles are mostly caused by the deviation of self-cognition, so it is very important to change their cognition through psychological counseling.
Step 1: Help students realize their irrational beliefs, inappropriate emotional reactions and behavior patterns. It is pointed out that they should be responsible for their bad emotions and behavior patterns, and the ultimate source of their bad emotions is their irrational beliefs.
The second step: self-regulation, that is, on the basis of letting students master the ABC theory of emotions, identify their own emotions and behaviors, identify rational and irrational ideas, refute irrational ideas, refute incorrect ideas with correct ideas, carry out logical reasoning, and finally produce positive regulation effects. For example, will the class teacher look down on me if he knows this? No, the head teacher is not an arbitrary person at ordinary times, and will not criticize casually because students make mistakes. "Homosexuality" has been recognized in society, and I have not done anything particularly out of line now. He sees the performance of the head teacher at ordinary times and keeps it in mind. I'm sure he won't look down on me and value me because of this. ...
(3) emotional catharsis, pay attention to the way
An unavoidable fact is that homosexuals are more likely to fall into anxiety and helplessness than ordinary people. Because although the outside world has given more and more tolerance to homosexuality, various pressures from traditional society have had an irresistible impact on their survival and lifestyle. In physical education class, Xiao B suddenly said loudly on the basketball court: I'm going to kill * * *, which frightened the whole class and affected the normal teaching order. It is very important to adjust your mood in view of Xiao B's situation. He needs to take some positive or at least harmless countermeasures, which can be as follows:
First, vent reasonably. In the past, he always kept his troubles in his heart, or broke out at some point, either cursing in front of others or threatening others, causing some harm to his classmates. Reasonable venting means choosing the right time and place, the right venting object and expressing your pain in the right way. Psychologically, suppressing emotions is very harmful to health. You can find a suitable object to talk to, find a trusted person to talk to, and cry bitterly when necessary. Crying, as an emotional outburst, is a method of defense and self-regulation. Sometimes you can shout. I am so depressed and depressed (of course, don't shout in public places, others will think you are crazy). Shouting at home in front of nobody can make you happy and comfortable.
The second type: transfer. When you are unhappy, focus on other things, do other things, pay attention to other things, pay attention to or do something beneficial or at least harmless. When you do something else, your attention will definitely shift to other places.
The third type: music therapy. Use music to promote health, especially as an auxiliary means to eliminate psychosomatic disorders. Little B is more interested in music, and listening to concerts will help him out of trouble better. According to his situation, he can choose: relieve stress, adjust the music of Qi-chi:><& lt Jiangnan is good >> and lyric opera. Calm music:>,< Pingsha Goose >>,< Cezanne Song >>,< Suwu Shepherd >>,< Pink >> Beethoven's sonata, Chopin's waltz, Tchaikovsky's>.
5. Sexual psychological education of middle school students' homosexuality
(1) Pay attention to sexual psychological education.
At present, teachers' sexual psychological education for junior high school students is conservative in both form and content, and parents' and children's communication awareness in sexual psychology is even weaker. "On the Causes of Homosexuality" generally mentions that childhood and adolescence are active periods for the formation of homosexuality, and the two cases in this paper also have this tendency in junior high schools, so we must attach great importance to sex education for children and adolescents [2].
(2) Implement the educational principle of care and respect.
As gay students, what they crave most is the need for respect. They hope to be recognized and affirmed by parents, teachers and schools. Moreover, most middle school students are gay and have a strong desire for treatment. Therefore, as parents and teachers, we should fully understand students, care and cherish students with homosexual tendencies, understand the laws of their physical and mental development, and do a good job in counseling in time.
(3) Offering lectures or courses on physiological psychology.
While continuing to advocate mental health education, primary and secondary schools need to strengthen physical and psychological education, and can offer corresponding courses or lectures. For middle school students, it can include: correctly understanding their gender roles and role expectations; Understand the structure and function of male and female organs in time; Master the method of normal communication with the same sex and the opposite sex; Ethical, moral and legal education of sex. Strive to be close to the reality of middle school students' study life and improve their sexual mental health quality. You can also give corresponding lectures to parents, cooperate with school education and children's growth, learn to be good parents of adolescent children, and understand their characteristics. In daily life, parents should be observant and aware of the hidden crisis behind some seemingly normal same-sex communication. Once children are found to be overly attached to the same sex, they should convince others with reason and affection, consciously create opportunities and guide them to make more friends. Help children go through this stage together. At the same time, as a mental health educator, I should contact gay middle school students in this respect, understand their mental health status, and accumulate more practical experience through psychological counseling.
refer to
[1] Chen Jinran and Yuan Yuning pay attention to the situational "homosexuality" phenomenon of middle school students [J]. Mental health education in primary and secondary schools, 2007, 17.
[2] Yang Fengchi. Difficult to knot, gay [J]. Zhongqing Science and Technology, 1994, 1 (1): 42-44.