I. Lack of democracy

1. There are generational differences between parents and children, but there is no difference in personality. Parents are advised to respect their children's personality and self-esteem and avoid psychological violence and corporal punishment. If you don't reprimand your child, often reprimanding will form a dull atmosphere. Don't criticize children in front of others and respect their personality.

Don't correct the shortcomings in general, but negate them in general. Try to use praise and encouragement. This matter should be specified. The problem lies with children, and the responsibility should be borne by adults.

Don't show authority, but put forward concrete measures. Respect children's opinions. Children should be allowed to express their opinions, and parents should not "speak at one word" in family life.

4. Never hit a child, such as "I'm unlucky to have a child like you". Every child has shortcomings. Failure in one aspect does not mean failure in other aspects. If parents often compare their children's weaknesses with other children's strengths, they will lose the courage to compete or catch up. In the long run, their self-confidence will disappear. At the same time, parents' criticism of children is also easy to cause children's rebellious psychology and damage their self-esteem. Therefore, if a child has problems or poor academic performance, we should look for the reasons and gaps according to the actual situation of the child, instead of comparing the child with others.

5. Say "It's up to you". Excessive concern, on the one hand, makes children gradually develop psychological and behavioral stereotypes that only listen to good words and don't listen to criticism; On the other hand, in some cases, it strengthens the performance of some bad behaviors. Therefore, parents should not blindly add more protection, but should focus on cultivating children's self-protection awareness and ability from the long-term development of their children, and really improve their safety factor.

6. Talk to children often. Parents should be brave enough to admit their mistakes to their children. Establish contact with children's friends and invite them to play at home. Middle school children often like reading, playing and playing together. They have a common internal language. As the saying goes, it is normal for children to make friends. As long as it is conducive to communication, such as playing ball games, reading books and pursuing common interests, parents should strongly support it. Know the names, addresses and telephone numbers of friends that children often associate with, so as to contact them when necessary. Tell children to control their time with friends. Children's friends' home visits should not be judged and gossiped. If children associate with the opposite sex, parents need not panic. Instead of blocking, dredge should be used.

Second, selfish and narrow-minded.

1. It is selfish for parents to satisfy their vanity with their children's behavior.

It seems that children's reading is more important to their parents than to their children. Once a child thinks that he is studying for his parents, his learning motivation will be biased, which seriously deviates from the scientific nature of middle school students' learning motivation. Therefore, parents should learn to share the happiness of their children's progress and be happy for their children's progress, instead of being proud of their glory.

Taking it out on children is an extreme manifestation of parents' selfishness.

Although everyone will encounter dissatisfaction in one way or another and have negative emotions to vent, children should never be the target of attack. We should control our emotions, even if sometimes we turn blue with anger and our stomachs twitch. You know, we make this sacrifice for our children and out of love for them.

Parents are fully aware of their educational responsibilities and devote more time and energy to educating their children in order to make them become adults. Read more family education books and periodicals, master the characteristics and laws of children's growth, master the correct educational methods, and avoid the randomness of education. Give the child a good look. I want to be upright and enterprising, knowledgeable and dedicated, hard-working, polite and strict with myself in all aspects. Do more activities with children and be their good friends.

Third, one-sided education.

With the increasingly fierce competition for further education, parents pay more and more attention to the cultivation of children's intelligence, and sometimes even regard children's intelligence as the only goal of education. Many parents spend a lot of money to create various learning conditions for their children. This kind of intelligence-centered family education will inevitably bring some shortcomings, which are manifested in the following aspects: more knowledge teaching and less intellectual development. Spoil more and be less strict. More material satisfaction, less mental effort. Hope and expect more, but teach students in accordance with their aptitude. More physical care and less psychological guidance. There are many intellectual factors concerned and few non-intellectual factors cultivated. Too much hard indoctrination and less inspiration. There is more mental work and less manual work. Parents have more differences and less unity. Individuals think more, but society thinks less.

Good intelligence is a necessary prerequisite for a person's survival and development, and the success of development often requires a lot of efforts. While parents want their children to master more knowledge and skills, they should not ignore their psychological needs, but should pay attention to the cultivation of their healthy emotions and sound personality.

Fourth, blind education.

Many parents can't tolerate others exposing their children's shortcomings, but often say that other people's children are wrong, or even belittle other people's children, thinking that children are still their own good. If a teacher criticizes a child's fault, parents will look for excuses from the East and the West, not from the children themselves. As parents, we should treat others' criticism of children correctly and don't pass the buck. Those who point out children's shortcomings face to face, as long as they don't deliberately find fault, should hold a sincere attitude, ask for advice modestly and find out the reasons, so as to educate children in a targeted manner. Give up family education for children and let it be good or bad. The consequences of giving up education are very negative. If the family conditions are poor and there is no education, the consequences of children's development are unimaginable.

We should educate children to know how to love, learn to love, and let them know that love is not only taking, but also giving. Moderately cultivate children's sense of reward, so that when they grow up, they know how to repay their parents' love at home and the love of society. Only in this way can they grow into citizens who respect themselves, care about others and have a high sense of responsibility. Appreciate children's family-loving behavior in time. To this end, parents can design some housework according to their children's characteristics to promote their healthy physical and mental growth. Children's housework time: 1.2 hours in USA, 0.7 hours in Korea, 0.6 hours in Britain, 0.5 hours in France, 0.4 hours in Japan and 0.2 hours in China.

Five, lose yourself

Parents lose themselves, which mainly means that parents give up their own efforts, lose a person's spiritual pursuit of striving for their ideals, and put their children in tomorrow. If parents lose their self-efforts and only hope that their children will realize their ideals and wishes, it will have a negative impact on their children. As an adult, parents struggle hard in society, and their influence and function on their children are not only economic providers and guardians, but also role models in life and behavior. Children's noble character, smart mind, strong body, beautiful mind, hard-working habits, etc. All come from family education and parents. Parents' words are vocal actions; Parents' actions are silent language.

Those who educate others must be educated first. If parents want to make their children rich, civilized and polite, and do good things without doing bad things, they must set an example; If children want to study hard and improve their grades, parents should often read more books and newspapers. In addition, parents should be brave enough to overcome their bad habits and often take part in some healthy activities. As the parents of middle school students, you should not only give your children an intuitive demonstration in dealing with people, but also have excellent personality charm: equal and democratic cultivation; Honest personality cultivation; Moral cultivation is supreme; Dedication, diligence and hard work accomplishment; Scientific literacy of continuous progress, hard work and exploration.