During the summer vacation, our family of three traveled to America. In Yosemite Scenic Area, I took out my camera and kept shooting beautiful scenery. A child sitting in a cart, but three or four years old, asked me, can I have a look? I didn't think much, so I said, well, just as I took the lanyard off my neck, the child's father rushed in, said sorry to me, and seriously said no to the child, just took the child out of the cart and took it away, and the cart quietly returned to its original position ~

To tell the truth, I was a little embarrassed, but I didn't think much about it soon, and continued to see the scenery.

After a while, my father brought the child back, put it on the cart and smiled at me politely. Or am I looking at my scenery, my father is looking at my father, and the children are sitting in the cart quietly looking at the distance ~

After a while, the child looked at me again and asked me, May I have a look? This time, I didn't say ok, but hesitated. At this time, my mother rushed over, picked up the child from the cart, said sorry to me, and then took the child away. The carriage is still quietly in place;

After a while, they came back. Mother smiled awkwardly at me and put the child back in the cart. It seems that nothing happened, the child didn't cry, and each of us still looked at the scenery in our eyes.

The difference is that after that, the child never asked me: Can I have a look?

This matter has been in my mind, and I didn't understand it until I reflected. What a gentle and firm education this is!

Parents have well safeguarded the dignity of their children. They didn't yell at the children or criticize them, but took them away from the scene. This is the embodiment of gentleness. Parents have the same boundary with their children, and what is not allowed is not allowed. This is firm. Once, twice ~ the child accepted it and didn't cry. This is a child's study.

The so-called gentleness and firmness is an educational concept advocated by the positive reformatory, so why should kindness and firmness go hand in hand?

Professor Zeng's book gives the following guidance: a gentle attitude is to prevent children from rebelling against their parents' teaching, and a firm attitude is that children cannot escape what they should do. The gentle attitude of parents is the key to teaching children to abide by the norms. Only by gentle persistence can children learn to be self-reliant and tolerant and develop the ability to solve problems rationally.

? Zeng Duanzhen's Educating Children with Courage and Action