Parents educate their children to face setbacks. Children cannot grow up without the care of their families. Parents should face them together and say, "I will be you when I grow up." Training at this time will be of great benefit to children in the future. The follow are ways for parent to educate their children to face setbacks.
Parents educate their children to face setbacks 1 parents' voice
Let the children learn by themselves.
Cao Gang: "Examples speak louder than words". Parents' attitudes and behaviors towards setbacks will exert a subtle influence on children's attitudes and behaviors. At the same time, you can also let your children be your role models. For example, every time a child overcomes a setback, parents can guide the child to record things.
In this way, when the child faces setbacks in the future, parents can remind him to look at these records and learn from himself. In life, parents can be children's "consultants" and teach them some ways to overcome difficulties, but in the end, they should let their children make their own decisions and implement them.
Evaluate children rationally
Mother Reese: In psychology, there is a phenomenon called "peacock mentality". These children are usually more competitive, strive for the first place in everything, and cannot tolerate others being better than themselves. It is not too late to think that many people are devastated when they encounter setbacks, and even commit suicide to end their young lives and cultivate their children's resilience.
As parents, we should seize the favorable opportunity to let our children face up to setbacks. For example, children accidentally fall down, and some parents are eager to help their children, stamping their feet desperately and accusing the floor of being wrong. In fact, it is easy for children to blame others when they grow up. I think the right thing to do is to encourage children to be brave. If the fall hurts, it doesn't matter if they cry a few times For older children, they can learn to play chess and go, and in the process of playing chess, they constantly encounter failures and victories. Sometimes, parents can take the initiative to create conditions at an appropriate time to let their children taste the taste of failure.
Give enough love when you are frustrated.
Qingyi: Last time my daughter's kindergarten selected "smiling angel", she didn't evaluate it, and she was very, very sad. It took me two or three days to heal her frustrated little heart. In fact, children need the love of their parents most at this time. At the same time, as parents, we should treat our children's honor peacefully. It is certainly gratifying for children to win the prize, but parents don't need to be elated and can keep a low profile. However, when children fail and are frustrated, we should pay attention, especially when children have tried their best. We can reward and encourage her appropriately, and let her know that her parents don't love her more because of her Excellence, but always care about her.
My daughter was depressed that day, and the next day I took her to the bookstore to buy books as a reward, because she did well in kindergarten, which seemed to have a good effect.
expert opinion/advice
Set obstacles for children to "add some calcium"
Liu Pengzhi, China University of Science and Technology was famous for its "Junior Class" in 1970s. Dang again
Among the outstanding "prodigies" in 2000, there was Zhang Yaqin, the global vice president of Microsoft and the youngest member of IEEE. But at that time, most people in China only knew that there was a child named Ningbo. Twenty years later, Ningbo has quietly disappeared from public view, while Zhang Yaqin, which was unknown at that time, enjoys a good reputation at home and abroad. Why?
In the final analysis, it is the difference in their resilience that leads to today's gap. Because the growth process is too smooth, it is difficult for Ningbo to have the courage to face failure. After graduating from college, although Ningbo strongly hoped to apply for graduate students, she gave up hope again and again. Because he is too afraid of failure. Zhang Yaqin's courage to go forward in the face of setbacks and his fear of failure made him what he is today.
"Frustration education" is actually to let children not only get happiness from the outside world, but also stimulate an instinct of self-seeking happiness from the heart. How should parents cultivate their children's resilience?
First, parents should establish frustration education awareness.
Many parents think that children have poor psychological endurance and should be protected. This concept directly affects children. In fact, it is good for a person to suffer some setbacks, especially in the early days. Parents should correctly treat the educational value of setbacks as a good way to temper their will and improve their adaptability.
Second, parents should deliberately set some obstacles for their children.
For children, it is inevitable that they will encounter difficulties and obstacles on the road to growth. If children are used to walking on a smooth road, listening to what they like and doing what they like, once they encounter difficulties, they will be unaccustomed, thus being helpless, nervous and prone to failure. Therefore, parents may wish to deliberately set some obstacles for their children in their daily study and life, or say "no" to their children's requirements and "add some calcium" to their children.
Third, parents should encourage their children to overcome difficulties and setbacks.
Some children are prone to negative reactions in adversity, often become dejected and despondent, and adopt the way of retreating. To change this phenomenon, it is necessary to educate children to face setbacks bravely and challenge difficulties when they encounter difficulties. For example, when children are afraid of climbing mountains and wrestling, they should be encouraged to say, "Don't be afraid, you can do it! What is a fall? " When children overcome difficulties again and again, they will increase their courage and stimulate their desire to overcome difficulties, their fears will disappear, their self-confidence will be enhanced and their ability to resist setbacks will be cultivated.
Fourth, after the child fails, we should enthusiastically encourage the child.
There are too many disappointments in life. For children, the warmth and support of family members are the source of confidence. People are emotional animals, and how much we wish our children all the best, but setbacks follow their children's lives like shadows, so we should treat them as a normal part of life and treat them with a normal heart. Therefore, when children face setbacks, parents should pay more attention to their hearts, warm them with warmth, guide them, and avoid setbacks from hurting their hearts.
Parents educate their children to face setbacks. 2. Why do children have fear of setbacks?
1, parents' expectations are too high.
When parents have high expectations for their children, children will bear too much pressure, and children will be more and more afraid of setbacks, fearing that they will not be able to reach their parents' tone and disappoint their parents. The high expectations of parents amplify children's fear of setbacks. The more parents pursue perfection, the more they will make their children afraid of setbacks.
2. Parents' strict educational methods
Parents are strict with their children, and children will be beaten and scolded when they make mistakes, which will make their inner frustration stronger and stronger. Children are becoming more and more timid and afraid to try under the strict education methods of their parents. When there is a problem, the child's heart is full of resistance and panic, and he is more inclined to escape to solve the problem. Too strict education methods make children feel inferior, and the first thing that comes to mind when encountering difficulties is to deny their own abilities.
3. Parents' excessive doting
Parents take care of their children for a long time, and children lack the experience of facing problems independently. Children live under the protection of their parents and their self-awareness is not comprehensive enough. Children's self-esteem is getting higher and higher, so that children can't stand a little frustration. Faced with failure, children's psychological frustration will be stronger. The child's inner fragility makes him more and more eager to give up his efforts, unwilling to find experience from failure and immersed in negative emotions.
Second, why should we cultivate children's frustration?
Phelps is known as the "flying fish", and his swimming ability amazed the world. And his training mode has also become the focus of media attention. This genius who won the Olympic gold medal 23 times and broke the world record 39 times is very special in training methods. His coach can be said to be a "naughty" coach, who often sets up some small obstacles in training.
For example, when he was swimming, the coach suddenly lost power and it was dark around. For example, when he swims, the coach will throw things at them to disturb his attention. Even the coach will deliberately break the goggles, let him swim, and his glasses will get water.
In a competition, his goggles were really broken, but he won the first prize completely unaffected. When the reporter asked this question, he said indifferently that he had experienced this situation many times. The training mode given to her by the coach is called frustration exercise.
Children's frustration can be cultivated. After some frustration training, children's ability to resist setbacks will be improved. Children cry when they are in trouble, and parents should pay attention to their "frustration".
Cultivating children's frustration can make their hearts stronger, and it is easy to get rid of negative emotions when encountering difficulties, and they are more capable of coping with setbacks. Appropriate setbacks will make children treat failure without excessive fear, and then learn from it calmly and rationally.
Children who are frustrated are more confident.
Appropriate setbacks will reduce the impact of failure on children's self-evaluation. The cultivation of setbacks gives children a better chance to overcome their inner timidity and cowardice, and enables them to face difficulties more firmly, thus improving their sense of self-efficacy.
Third, cultivating children's frustration can make them more independent.
1. Create opportunities for children to face setbacks directly.
Many parents are overprotective of their children, which makes them feel at a loss and overly afraid because of lack of coping experience when facing setbacks. Parents need to let go appropriately and create opportunities for their children to cope with setbacks. Parents who know how to let go are more capable of cultivating frustrated children.
2. Grasping the scale of education, parents should know appropriate encouragement.
Many parents are too strict and demanding about their children and often criticize them. Parents need to master the scale of education, and don't hurt their children's self-confidence. Appropriate encouragement can make children more courageous to face setbacks and disappointments. Encouragement is also a kind of support. Compared with criticism, encouragement has a deeper influence on children's mobility.
3. Guide children to treat setbacks correctly.
Parents guide their children to treat setbacks correctly. A setback can't have a great impact on life. Just like the little girl and the invited parents mentioned in the above story, it's no big deal. Sometimes fear of setbacks is a psychological experience magnified by children. Guiding children to face up to setbacks will greatly correct their attitude towards solving problems.
Cultivating children's frustration requires parents to know how to let go properly and master the necessary educational wisdom. Setbacks contribute to children's independent development. At the same time, frustration can control children's inner frustration after failure. Children who lack frustration are prone to self-denial emotions, and children will stop under this negative emotion.
Parents educate their children to face setbacks and be weak by nature.
When such children suffer setbacks, due to limited experience and weak will, they are often prone to anxiety, inferiority and loss of confidence in themselves.
2, coquetry.
Parents praise their children blindly, and sometimes they will talk about their shortcomings. They do everything in life instead of everything. Children are too protected and self-righteous, and they have developed the habit of enjoying themselves. If they are slightly dissatisfied, they will lose their temper or cringe, and they can't stand criticism or even praise others.
3. Inappropriate expectations.
Adults are under great pressure and demanding, children suffer more failures and blame, and less successful experiences. So they often do things from beginning to end and give up when they encounter setbacks.
What should we do to explore the reasons, only "prescribe the right medicine".
1. Children and parents born weak should pay attention to the following points:
(1) Help children understand "frustration" correctly. For example, by telling children stories about setbacks before a hero's success or parents' childhood setbacks, let children know that life may encounter setbacks at any time, and only by bravely overcoming difficulties will their skills grow bigger and bigger.
(2) Teach children how to deal with setbacks and analyze the causes of setbacks with children. Teach children some ways to deal with setbacks, such as self-encouragement: "Although I didn't get the first place in the exam this time, I made moderate progress than my class"; Another example is compensation: "I can't dance, but I draw very well." I will work hard to draw and try to participate in the painting and calligraphy competition. "
Spoiled children and parents might as well keep him out of it.
Attention should be paid to using some opportunities to praise the advantages of other children, and gradually let children get used to the fact that "someone is better than him." No matter how noisy the child is, we must resolutely stop it and help him overcome his shortcomings. Consciously set some difficulties in daily life, such as letting him dress himself, tie his belt, make his bed, collect toys, etc. Encourage children to do their own things, learn to do things they can't, and let them get some exercise.
Adults should give their children a chance to succeed.
It is necessary to put forward appropriate requirements according to children's personality characteristics and ability level, so that children can do what they can, motivate themselves through success, experience the joy of success and gain self-confidence. Then, according to the actual level of children, set some difficulties that can be overcome through hard work, so that children can keep moving forward and face up to "setbacks" in overcoming difficulties.
In addition, for whatever reason, when children can't face setbacks, parents should take good care of their children in emotional contagion, such as "Hey, what are you afraid of this little thing? Let's find a way together. " Encourage children to use their brains to overcome difficulties and constantly improve their ability to resist setbacks.
The above is the introduction of parents' methods to help their children face setbacks. If you have any questions about how students should face setbacks and other knowledge about students' mental health, please continue to pay attention to the safety knowledge column of safety net frustration education.