That year, a really arranged wedding tie trapped his high mood and the life promised by his bride.
At that time, Suzhou Mengzang Reclamation School was dissolved, and Zhang Henshui, who had no school to go to, had to stay at home and study hard.
Dai, the mother who worries about her children's marriage all day, found a marriage for Zhang Henshui, who is 18 years old.
Such a decision is unacceptable to Zhang Henshui, who has been receiving new education and is romantic and avant-garde.
However, the bondage of traditional filial piety prevented him from acting against his parents.
After thinking for a long time, he finally came up with a solution.
When the matchmaker came to visit again, Zhang Henshui, who refused to marry, suddenly said to his mother and matchmaker:
"engagement is ok, but I have to see what the other girl looks like first, and I will marry when I am satisfied."
In the eyes of modern people, Zhang Henshui's request is normal. The standard to measure the marriage between men and women is more important than the right match, that is, the three views fit together; And the fit of the two souls can only be seen through more contact with each other.
But helpless, Zhang Henshui lived in an era that was still bound by decadent feudal dogma; At that time, it was very irregular for men and women to meet frequently before marriage.
So this request is bound to be rejected by the woman's family.
In order to settle this marriage, the matchmaker had to discuss with Zhang Henshui: Let's go secretly and I'll show you then!
The matchmaker's suggestion has nothing to do with Zhang Henshui.
Because he heard from his mother; The woman named Xu was born in a scholarly family; However, her family has declined, so Xu has never had a chance to read or write.
He couldn't accept such a girl, so he made up his mind: after seeing the girl, he directly said that he was not satisfied.
In this way, Zhang Henshui followed the matchmaker to the theater arranged in advance.
Two people stood on the railing on the second floor, watching the audience come in one after another.
Just when Zhang Henshui's patience was about to run out, I saw the matchmaker give him an excited push: Look, it's that girl Xu.
/kloc-The 0/8-year-old boy looked in the direction pointed by the matchmaker and saw a handsome and slim girl standing in the last row of the theater, as if waiting for a late companion.
At that time, young Zhang Henshui, who didn't know what love was, took the surprise and joy at that glance as a beautiful heart.
Therefore, this marriage, he readily accepted.
It is also a sigh: in the overlapping fog of fate, it is always too difficult to distinguish between true and false.
But anyway, my mother was overjoyed at Zhang Henshui's change. It was this surprise that made her quickly finalize the marriage and arrange the wedding.
In the early autumn of that year, in September, the ancient courtyard of the Zhang family was decorated with lights and festive.
Accompanied by the noisy suona sound and the repeated blessings of the guests, Xu, who was covered with a veil, married Zhang Henshui.
When the night took away the noise of the day, Zhang Henshui, who came to the bridal chamber, unveiled the veil with anticipation.
But I never thought that the bride under the hijab was not what she saw that day.
I saw this woman in a red wedding dress, yellow and short; A collapsed nose and generous lips can't make people feel good at all.
Seeing such a bride, Zhang Henshui felt extremely frightened.
He just grabbed the door and left, screaming in panic as he ran: "Mom! Mom! Come and see ... "
The mother who heard the news also arrived at the bridal chamber; After seeing the bride, I was even more surprised:
"This girl is really not the woman we saw that day!"
Mother's words added another layer of anger to Zhang Henshui, who was already flustered; Young and energetic, he left home directly.
On the wedding night, my uncle and his family were still at home, looking for a torch in the middle of the night, only to find Zhang Henshui who sat alone on the hillside for half a night.
After seeing her son, the mother tearfully persuaded: We were cheated by the matchmaker.
It turned out that the matchmaker pointed out to their mother and son that day that Xu's cousin, not the bride Xu; It was only because the matchmaker was worried that Zhang Henshui would not agree to this marriage that he used this civet cat for the prince.
Just now, the high hall has been worshipped, and the veil has been lifted ... Even though ten thousand people in Qian Qian don't want to, what is done is done.
Therefore, Dai had to persuade his son that his mother had already gone through the door and must not break off the marriage, otherwise the Xu family would be cornered; If you meet a woman you like in the future, you can marry another room.
The exhortation of her mother-in-law also doomed Xu's lonely and barren life.
But these words are more or less effective; After hearing this, Zhang Henshui can only make a sad promise.
But even when he got home, he refused to share a room with the bride; Even at dawn, a study with windows was cleared directly on the laurel tree; Later, he lived in this study for half a year.
Later, in "Essays on the Window of Guangxi Night", recalling the depressed reading time in recent months, he wrote gloomily: "At the full moon, the clear light shines on the paper window from the gap in the middle of Guangxi, and the whole family sleeps, so they often turn off the lights and sit by the window alone until late at night."
Zhang Henshui, who wanted to escape from reality, locked himself in the bookstore all day; I completely forgot that I had a family and neglected waiting for his wife.
This farcical marriage brought misfortune to Xu's life.
That night, Xu wore a red wedding dress and sat alone on the bed; Although there are high-burning red candles and festive curtains in the room, Xu still feels extremely cold and lonely.
But after all, she is stronger than expected. In the face of this long marriage tug-of-war, this lonely woman made all preparations.
When she got up the next day, she began to visit her mother-in-law and clean the house according to traditional etiquette.
Such simplicity and tenacity have won the love and recognition of the Zhang family; It's just that among these recognitions, only her husband Zhang Henshui is missing.
Zhang Henshui and Xu, the couple, have unspeakable grievances.
Until the spring of 19 14, after they got married for half a year, Zhang Henshui chose to leave home and work in a newspaper office in Hankou.
In the next four years, Zhang Henshui disappeared like Xu Wenshu and ignored it.
It is also these four years that Xu, who is quiet and introverted, serves her mother-in-law wholeheartedly and takes care of her sister-in-law and brother-in-law; She takes care of all the affairs of the Zhang family, and only hopes that her husband can see these efforts.
As a daughter-in-law, Xu is one in a million. In this way, she also got the baby of the Zhang family.
Because of illiteracy, sister-in-law Zhang took the initiative to teach her sister-in-law to read; With Zhang's help, Xu began to read articles, even those written by her husband.
But Zhang Henshui still doesn't know about these changes.
Because he doesn't want to know, his wife Xu is still an illiterate rural girl in his eyes.
Dai's mother-in-law cherishes Xu's efforts and is dissatisfied with her son Zhang Henshui's deliberate departure.
In order to make her daughter-in-law depend on her, she asked Zhang Henshui to share a room with her wife by means of mandatory orders and decisions.
She said, "Married to our Zhang family. In this life, we can't let her have no thoughts, at least let her have a child and a dependence. "
Zhang Henshui, who could not resist her mother, was also moved by compassion. Finally, after four years of marriage, she made up for the wedding night promised by her wife.
This belated mutual affection between husband and wife allowed Xu to give birth to a daughter smoothly.
Unfortunately, Xu, who was pregnant in October, did not enjoy the joy of being a mother for the first time, and her child died.
The death of the child became the biggest pain in Xu's life.
She wanted to get some comfort from her husband, but in the end, he ran away from home again.
19 18, Zhang Henshui became the editor-in-chief of Wanjiang Daily in Wuhu, Anhui Province, and his career was getting better and better.
It can be said that Zhang Henshui is also a minor celebrity in the literary circle at this time.
In order to make up for the debt owed to her daughter-in-law, mother Dai once again persuaded her son to let Xu have another child.
Perhaps seeing Xu's treatment and dedication to the Zhang family, Zhang Henshui gradually owed more to this heartless wife; Finally, he agreed to his mother's request and let Xu get pregnant again.
This time Xu gave birth to a boy; Dai's mother-in-law was very happy. Her husband Zhang Henshui's cold face gradually showed a smile, and Xu, who was deeply desperate about marriage, also felt the long-lost light.
But who would have thought that fate once again played a cruel joke on this poor woman.
The child was about two years old and died unfortunately because of lung infection.
The unexpected death of the child also completely broke all Xu's expectations of her husband.
She watched him leave home again without any memory or care; Although her mother-in-law Dai comforted that "he will come back again", Xu had already broken all expectations of her husband.
In his heart, she is warm anyway.
Since it is warm or not, why waste energy!
In the lonely life of widowhood, Xu began to try to read all kinds of books to pass the long night; Among them, she loves reading all kinds of simple Buddhist books, starting with the Heart Sutra, then to the Great Compassion Mantra, and finally to the 2620-word shurangama mantra ... She can read aloud or sing silently.
Slowly, she came out of the endless sadness and resentment of suffering, and learned to treat people, meet adversity and be open-minded.
When she chooses to let go, her story with him should be over.
It's just that this constant mutual affection made the two of them even.
1926, the famous Zhang Henshui bought a big house in Beijing.
In order to make up for the debt to his family, he took his mother, wife and many younger brothers and sisters to live in Beijing.
After coming to Beijing, Xu realized that Zhang Henshui had married a woman named Hu and had a daughter.
After hearing the news, everyone was surprised; Only Xu is always calm and indifferent.
Just because she let go, she forgave his indifference and indifference, and forgave all the grievances that she could not love.
So for this woman who is her rival in love, she shows a particularly tolerant side.
During those years in Beijing, she regarded Hu as her own sister and always treated her sincerely.
Because of this merciless liberation, she even raised her rival son 10 years.
Yes 1928. Hu's son, Zhang Xiaoshui, was born prematurely and was very cold.
When everyone was ready to give up, Xu, who had suffered the pain of losing her son twice, held the child in her arms and warmed her for several hours before making the weak baby cry.
This kind of love deeply touched Hu, who had just finished making it; In order to thank Xu for saving his life, Hu directly gave the child to Xu, who had no children and no daughters, to comfort her all the year round.
For Xu, the ten years in Beijing with Zhang Xiaoshui's mother and son is the warmest and most precious decade in her lonely life.
She didn't get her husband's love, and she didn't enjoy her family life, but the arrival of Zhang Xiaoshui made her lonely and looked forward to life and the future.
And everything about her husband Zhang Henshui, Xu never wants to ask again.
193 1 year, 36-year-old Zhang Henshui changed his mind again and fell in love with his reader, Zhou, who was only 16 years old.
After learning that Zhang Henshui was in love with this female student, Hu ran to Zhoujia in a rage and smashed all the glass of Zhoujia. However, this radical approach was only rejected by the husband.
When she was most desperate, Xu Wenshu comforted her: "Everything should be calm and right, and don't divorce easily."
Won't you be sad when Hu asks her: He fell in love with someone else again?
Xu heard this sentence, paused, and then said with a wry smile, I wish I could get over it.
She has never been loved by him in her life, so she doesn't know what loss is and what greed is. It was the loneliness and despair of marriage that made her give up all the waiting and expectation.
In this life, people should fulfill themselves …
It took her 13 years to fully understand this sentence.
Later, Zhang Henshui married Zhou; Because he promised Hu that he would never let another woman into the house, he had to choose another place to live. On their wedding day, he changed the name of the beautiful young bride to "Nan Zhou".
He praised her for her good writing and her cleverness ... but he never knew that he had rejected the original match for half his life, and had tried to study for him, reading his works until dawn in countless lonely and difficult nights.
The sweetness of the third marriage seems to have inspired Zhang Henshui's creation.
The word "Zhang Henshui" reached its peak with the successive publication of the novels "The Golden Powder Family" and "The Cause of Laughing and Crying".
Later, when War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression broke out, Zhang Henshui sent his mother, wife and children back to their hometown.
In the old house in Anhui, Xu is still taking care of the old and young at home.
It was not until Hu returned to Beiping with his son Zhang Xiaoshui that Xu's life became lonely again.
Feeling guilty, Zhang Henshui bought her land in her hometown and sent her 50 yuan living expenses every month. Xu never complains that Zhang Henshui is not good. She is always happy to say to her neighbors, "I married a cash cow."
In these years, apart from sending money, Zhang Henshui only visited her once at 1955, but she waited for him all her life.
Later, my mother-in-law died.
Once young sisters-in-law have also left their hometown to get married.
Xu, who has worked hard for the Zhang family all his life, is getting more and more lonely.
Because I miss Zhang Xiaoshui in the distance, every once in a while, she will personally go to the post office on the street and send letters to Zhang Xiaoshui in the distance.
This child has been raised by her for 10 years, and has long been regarded as her own child, which has also given Xu a rare warmth. He will express his concern in the letter and be caring and attentive to this kind aunt.
/kloc-one day in 0/958, 60-year-old Xu went to the street post office to post a letter to Zhang Xiaoshui as usual.
But on the way up to the post office, I felt a strong dizziness.
Before she stopped, the whole person fell to the ground directly.
After everyone sent her to the hospital, Xu was unable to speak; I saw her struggling to raise her arm and pointed to her coat pocket. There is a letter she personally wrote to Zhang Xiaoshui, which is a mother's concern for the wanderer in the distance.
The accident claimed Xu's life.
She has never been loved by her husband in her life. She lived alone for 45 years, but never waited for her husband's farewell.
At that incredibly simple funeral, it was Zhang Xiaoshui who came day and night, dressed her in a decent shroud and kept her coffin all night.
This cheerful seven-foot man knelt for a long time in front of the hastily built mourning hall. It seems that only in this way can he get closer to his aunt who loves him the most.
In the old-fashioned marriage, Xu, who suffered all his life, finally died in the ancestral grave of the Zhang family.
On the stone tablet in front of the tomb, all Zhang Xiaoshui's gratitude and concern for her are engraved: "The tomb of Zhang's mother, Xu Laoru, is humane."
The shadows of the trees are swaying and the breeze is rustling, which seems to tell her long loneliness and silence.
Yes, she has suffered a lot in her life! But I'm glad: it's all over after all …
———END——
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