She said her daughter was rebellious, and everyone thought it was? Normal? Phenomenon, after listening to many lectures, it is hard to resist.

But this colleague is still struggling every day and can't find the reason. It's like people can't solve a problem and always wonder why they can't solve it, instead of changing their way of thinking.

I tried to tell her: you can educate your children if you want, but don't be too rigid. Now, children like new things. If you always say what you think and think that children can understand life after hearing the truth, how can it be so simple? ?

Colleagues seem to begin to understand this, so I went on to say? As the old saying goes, entertainment and education are the same for children. To make children obedient, we must first make children happy and accept them. ?

Preaching is only effective if children are willing to accept it.

So, what is the way to accept happily?

For example, a mother wants to persuade her children to read more books, which is good for their later life. Of course it's hard for them to say so directly.

Try this: What are the benefits of reading? When you saw the beautiful scenery, didn't you say it didn't have any ink? Oh, my God, it's beautiful! ? What can you say? The next day, the lotus leaves are infinitely blue and the lotus flowers are of different colors. Such a sentence.

Reading can enrich life. For people, to survive in the world, spiritual abundance is as important as material satisfaction.

In the past week, my colleagues talked happily with me about my daughter. She said that it is really easier for children to try to change their educational methods without preaching.

Colleagues also report that they always feel that they have exhausted their thoughts on their children, but the children simply don't understand gratitude.

In fact, if the method is wrong, everything you do can only touch yourself. Trying to understand that children are the truth of education, and being a parent is also a matter of thinking more.

I believe that many parents have encountered similar problems, and children have already shown impatience before criticism. When it comes to preaching, children's resistance is also very serious.

It is often what parents say and what children say. Although children are young, their thoughts are not necessarily immature, and sometimes their eloquence is not necessarily worse than that of children.

Is it easy to have children? Fried hair? Most parents have a problem with the way they preach. Why are children educated as soon as they are educated? Fried hair? ? Is it too arrogant and fragile? Neither. In fact, in the final analysis, there is something wrong with parents' education methods.

What is the most common mistake parents make in China? Direct preaching? . Like what? Did you do something wrong? 、? Do you want to listen to adults? 、? Do you want to drink hot water instead of cold water? Wait?

Parents can't wait to instill life experience into their children every day, and the children simply won't listen.

When a child makes a mistake, the parents' first reaction is to tell the child that it is wrong. As for why and where it is wrong, parents can't say clearly.

Children don't understand, so they listen to adults preaching over and over again. If this method is used too much, children will naturally become immune.

The fact is, without life experience, many truths are really hard to understand. Parents' unilateral preaching, in addition to causing trouble to children, can not achieve practical results.

American psychologist Lisa A. Sabine once did an experiment in kindergarten. She divided a group of children who were noisy and disobedient at school into two groups, directly preaching to one group of children and guiding and persuading the other group of children.

The experimental results show that the children who are directly lectured have not changed their bad habits, but have become worse and their emotions are difficult to control. After guidance and persuasion, the children's behavior has improved obviously.

From the experimental results, we can know that? Preach? Not only can it not effectively educate children, but it will be counterproductive.

Isn't this kind of education good? Children will become? Worse? Good children may also be educated? Not good? .

Educator Rousseau once said: Reasoning, losing your temper and deliberately moving are the most useless educational methods in the world.

So, how should children be educated after making mistakes?

Children explode as soon as they are disciplined. What should parents try? Induce persuasion? Induce persuasion? This is a technical term for speaking skills. In the field of parenting, it means that when educating children, don't criticize directly, but speak tactfully, so that children can think and feel their mistakes.

In the book Talk Like TED: Nine Speech Secrets of the World's Top Brain, there is a study in which researchers ask one person to tell a story while others are listening. During this process, the participants' brains were scanned.

The results show that the brains of storytellers and storytellers form the same mirror image.

So, use? Tell a story? Educating children in new ways can make them feel the same way, thus achieving the educational goal.

So, use? Induce persuasion? How to implement it? Where are you going? Tell a story? For example.

This way? Induce persuasion? , is an effective education.

First, learn to make up stories.

Predictably, it is difficult for most writers to make up stories.

But don't think so. This is not asking parents to make up a classic story. Just start from life and seek truth from facts.

Anna, a foreign father? Kefu Shi used a good story to change the child's behavior of beating people and refusing to change after repeated instruction.

What about Anna? Kefu Shi told his children a story: A short-tempered calf always bullied other animals because it never had any friends. After an accidental injury, the calf lost his memory and forgot his original bad temper. He became a kind calf and later made many friends.

Anna? Kefu Shi told the children the story of making calves beautiful for four years. During this period, the stories were enriched and the plots increased.

The child who used to hit people suddenly became the person with the most friends in school when he was 6 years old. It can be seen that the power of the story is enough to change a child.

2. The language of storytelling should be suitable for children's psychology.

Children's language ability is limited, so don't tell stories in style, just tell them in vernacular.

In language, we should not only express the meaning of the story, but also be easy to understand, and it is best to chat with children.

If you can run around in the water and try to make your child look less confused, it is a success.

In tone, don't finish a story in the same tone. The child lacks concentration. If they want to listen to the story carefully, they need vivid and exaggerated language.

This can not only attract children's attention, but also be interesting to express, so as to finally achieve the purpose of educating with stories.

3. Pay attention to the guidance and inspiration of children when telling stories.

Many stories are well told, and the children are happy to hear them, but after listening to them, there is no other meaning.

Parents should not forget that they try their best to tell stories not to amuse their children. The fundamental purpose is to guide and educate children.

For example, tell children a story about a mouse stealing rice. The mouse stole the rice from the master's house and was chased by the master for a long time. Many interesting things happened on the way.

The story is very interesting, and the most important thing is to let the children understand the truth of being a man.

Educating children is not a simple matter. Parents who find it easy, if their children are not too talented, have no introduction at all.

It is not easy to make children obey. Don't take it for granted Many times, adults may not be able to do what they say to themselves, let alone children.

Parents should remember not to preach to their children all the time, but to think from their perspective. Multipurpose? Induce persuasion? The method of education, giving children room to think, will be solved.