1. Stupid instinct begins.
2. Ni Ping must have participated in the question.
3. Ancient poets went to a technical school to fall in love.
Lei Feng helped 6000 old ladies cross the street in his life.
I walked up and down, thinking hard about the fate of China.
6. I only met Lao Yu and the Guangdong madman who recited the dictionary.
7. Kiss a person's ass to a limited extent.
8. Under the leadership of a madman, everyone is crazy. Politics is much more terrible than war.
9. At this time, you found a considerate third plan and shouted "Ah! Ni Ping! "
10. If Ni Ping fails the GRE, there is only one possibility. She doesn't recite words.
Lao Luo: You have peaches in your pocket. ( )
12. My grandmother was born in Guangxu, so don't marry a fart.
13. Girl: Oh, I'm sorry, this is for my grandmother ...
14. Why? It's simple, because you are a water turtle and have never seen the world.
15. Thirteen-year-old Luo Yonghao witnessed a live black man at close range for the first time in his life!
16. At this time, I quickly took out my notebook and wrote my will.
17. I really envy you for meeting such a great teacher!
18. A real macho man dares to look directly at the bleak life.
19. Another characteristic of a macho man is that he hides when he cries.
20. Trembling with happiness.
2 1. Ah, it's time for bed and two cups of coffee.
22. I had a nervous breakdown after listening.
23. This is not good for girls. Noisy can be noisy, noisy can not be noisy! Why go to the tabloids?
24. I persuaded many old teachers after I arrived in New Oriental.
This question is so simple that I am embarrassed to do it.
26. You really piss me off ... Hey ... Please.
27. The intense life needs no explanation!
28. This is my immature view.
29. It's not easy for everyone to mix together!
30. There are times in life when you step on shit.
3 1. Face up to the bleak life, face up to the dripping blood and live!
32. When a student asks Lao Yu a question, Lao Yu will tell him a story about his own struggle, so that all the students are moved and forget the question just now.
33. If 50% of the people in China are gay, the population problem will be solved.
Teachers used to say that girls should stand on their own feet in class. Oh, I forgot, you took the GRE exam. Who are the girls who took the GRE? Fierce girl
35. "Lao Luo, don't talk about this topic in this class. Let's talk nonsense! " I almost fell off the platform.
36. What is the picture of a pear shop? Hmm? Why are you looking at me? My old Luo is a standard barrel figure! !
37. Happy sadness ......
38. It's too difficult! It's too difficult!
This topic is an insult to our wisdom.
40. Well, the joke is over. The students who were lying down just now can go back to sleep.
4 1. From this incident, the students saw another advantage of your teacher Luo (or the moral integrity of the old intellectuals). .......
42. Is Japan a country with collective BT? Yes! But I never scold them BT, I want to prove how BT they are.
43. Without Yuan Longping, what would the losers of Chinese Academy of Sciences eat?
44. If I meet him, I will waste him!
45 ... Sorry, I'm a little excited.
46. I can't take care of anyone.
47. Look at this word-credulous ... gullible ... what does it sound like? This is so stupid!
48. I have to admire you!
49. "The exam is coming!"
I have seen many such cheats in English education.
5 1. I swallowed a mouthful of bitter water, but in her opinion it was a mouthful of saliva.
52. Wind. Cold wind. The wind is cold. -Gu Long wrote this to earn the manuscript fee (charged by line).
53. The eyes are bloodshot, the veins on the forehead are exposed, and hair appears on the feet.
54.- Where's Lao Luo? -I don't know. Don't ask. It's gone.
55. Lao Luo asked in class, "What are Japanese women's hobbies?" Someone below replied, "Make a movie! ! "
56. Lao Luo smiled and said, "Can't you fucking think of something good? So, what are the hobbies of Japanese men? " The following chorus: "Watch a movie! ! !
57. Note that Lao Luo has never had a younger brother!
58. Sometimes, I feel a little nauseous.
59. It's fucking annoying not to do 1000 push-ups a day!
60. It's worse for children to fight than to develop.
6 1. It's been three years, and I'm developed! ! !
62. I compare my personality with theirs! !
63. Don't do this, or they will think you are lively.
64. A stranger like me ......
The theme of our Spring Festival get-together this year is to highlight the word "get-together"-this is Sister Ni's logic.
66. Tell me how confused your mind is.
67. This topic is the most controversial topic in the history of New Oriental, but the arrival of Teacher Luo ... I just stood on the shoulders of giants.
68. According to Ni Jie's thinking, how should I choose this question?
69. Left leaning and right leaning are not important, what matters is being knocked down!
70. You sweat when you lie. ......
7 1. I swallowed a mouthful of bitter water, but she thought it was saliva.
72. I am a ninth-rate poet, but I can't compare with Emily Dickinson. Then what can I spell? What can I spell? They can't spell me.
73. This is the first time that thirteen-year-old Luo Yonghao has seen a live black man!
74. If you come to New Oriental in a few years and see someone who seems familiar, I just can't remember who it is. Looks like Luo Yonghao's brother. Attention, I don't have a brother!
75. There is nothing wrong with a boy and a girl in a family. It doesn't matter if there are two girls, just two boys, especially in the northeast where the folk customs are tough. ......
76. While paying for medicine, my dad secretly rejoiced: TMD, this is my son! ! !
77. Some students may doubt my character, so I'll tell you another story: "There used to be a cherry tree in our house ... you all laughed! I won't say it if you laugh. "
78. "ETS is a pathological problem, and our school will do it with abnormal ideas."
79. "What is GRE? It is to let China people experience the stupid test of Americans. "
80. This problem has been solved since Lao Luo appeared. The old teacher said to me: Lao Luo, you are a fucking cow! I said, stop talking, I'm just standing on the shoulders of giants.
8 1. Why are you staring at me? From a purely biological point of view. We just refuse homosexuality. If there were more homosexuals in China, the population wouldn't be a problem ... Of course, I'm heterosexual.
82. "Soft muscles and pear shape" ... What does "pear shape" mean? Hey, what are you looking at me for? I am definitely not pear shape, I am a standard bucket figure!
83. Reproduction refers to interspecific reproduction. For example, a dog gave birth to a litter, fat, thin, short and ugly. Can't say that bitch looks at it, hey ... there is a pig, a cat, a duck and a fish! ?
84. Divorce in Las Vegas is also very convenient. Everyone is waiting in line for a divorce by car, so if you slow down, the people behind you won't say, "Hurry up! Will you let people get divorced? ! "After Lao Yu went, his eyes lit up:" It's so convenient! Really convenient! " .
85. I don't think your relationship has broken down ... (after the man slapped the woman and the woman kicked the man)? It's really broken ...
86. Is wearing bell bottoms a hooligan? It's just logical confusion! ! !
87. Lao Luo: Is this correct? Right? Right? Right? We: ... no ... Lao Luo: Tell me what's wrong? This is absolutely correct! Boring question, next!
88. This problem was unclear in New Oriental for many years, until you, Mr. Luo, joined New Oriental. Old teachers all told me: Lao Luo, you are really awesome! I quickly said, don't say that, I'm just standing on the shoulders of giants!
89. In American graduate schools, China students never take part in class discussions, so that professors think they know nothing. But the first test comes first, and the first test comes first. Doesn't the American professor collapse? He couldn't understand it at all and sighed, "Ah, the mysterious East!" "
90. As an awesome person like me, when I want someone to appreciate me, I will look in the mirror.
9 1. When he asked you for eight dollars, you turned and left. At this time, he usually says, "How about five dollars?" At first glance, it's almost a deal. Once after class, a student was very excited and ran to the front and said to me, "Lao Luo, I won the 3.8 yuan!" " ".I think, what a pity! Piracy criminals are human beings!
92. Do you know how Lao Yu talks about filling in the blanks? When Lao Yu used to teach, he often said, "directly exclude A and B; D and e must be wrong at first glance, so choose "C" for this question and then some students ask, "Why can't I see that D and e are so wrong?" "At this time, Lao Yu will put down his book and walk to the front of the platform to tell you a short story about his life.
93. There are two tragedies in education in China: 1. Every school has a perverted middle-aged woman as the dean; 2. Every school has a lecherous male PE teacher, who lets boys play ball games as soon as class begins and leads girls to play games by themselves.
94. If you are not good at math, you can also be the British Prime Minister (Churchill), or you can be a writer in Taiwan Province Province (Li Ao), or you can go to Britain to write poems (Xu just brushed it off). Of course, all of the above require a visa. That won't do. You can be a writer in China (Qian Zhongshu) and a teacher at the end (Luo Yonghao). If you can't speak a class, you can also be the principal.
95. Do you all watch CCTV's Spring Festival Evening? Ah, why do you still keep this bad habit? ! CCTV Spring Festival Gala is not for ordinary people. But the parents have to watch, and the son can't go home. First, take some vitamin B6 (used by pregnant women to prevent vomiting), and then sit in front of the TV. One year, this happened: Ni Ping smirked and said, "Today's party highlights the theme of the party." That's right! The idea is highly consistent with ETS! If she doesn't get 2.4 thousand in the GRE exam, she basically fails in vocabulary!
96. Dementia mental patients are the happiest. It has reached a very deep level and is in a high state every day. And do whatever you want: you are a fool, what are you afraid of! ? You can gain weight in vain and always be in a state of fresh air.
97. Politics is that there are no contradictions, and contradictions are created; Then solve the contradiction. In fact, it is to create hatred. There is a question in the math textbook of Palestinian primary schools: 7 Israeli prisoners of war were captured, 5 were killed, how many are left? There is no hope for a nation that instills hatred in mathematics.
98. Can you explain the misunderstanding? Never explain! There are only two things I can explain: First, my relatives misunderstood me. If I don't explain, they will be sad. Second, the court misunderstood me. Except for these two, I never explain. Really tough, don't explain! Shit, even people like me are misunderstood. What else can you do?
99. What are pesticides for? Is to help insects do eugenics. Better and better pesticides make bugs look like little Tai Sen. Encountering a bad pesticide is like raining in Mao Mao. Even better, it's just taking a bath. Besides, these bugs are not idle when taking a shower. They sang: "We are pests, we are pests!" "
100. When I was in the boarding class, Lao Yu was not so busy now. Go up the mountain and give a mobilization speech to each student. At that time, Lao Yu was God in our hearts. One day I heard that Lao Yu was going to give a speech at night. So they all ran to the lecture hall early. Lao Yu came after dinner, picked up the receiver and said nothing, just a loud hiccup. How inappropriate. We were all stunned at that time, looked at each other, and our faces were full of dementia and happiness, saying, what an approachable hiccup! ! ! !