Of course, Hook and Sha Yi were repeatedly asked about educating their children in the interview. In the program, Hooke once said: Children are also independent individuals, so we should treat children as adults, communicate on an equal footing and respect her personal wishes. In addition, Hooke also stressed that "as a mother, showing weakness in front of her son can not only stimulate children's desire to protect their mothers, but also erect a sense of responsibility and cultivate the habit of helping others from an early age."
In life, Hook did this, so we can see that when Anji and Xiaoyuer grabbed toys, Hook didn't say Xiaoyuer was a younger brother, and asked Anji to give the toys to his younger brother, but communicated with Anji and Xiaoyuer on an equal footing to resolve the crisis between the two brothers. When Hook is late to pick Angie up, she will take the initiative to admit her mistake and apologize to Angie after seeing Angie.
In a word, Hooke can't educate Anji and Xiaoyu without the words "equal treatment" or "appropriate weakness", but these simple words don't know how many parents are stumped. Therefore, if some fans have become parents, they really need to learn from Hooke in parenting, and they can't cultivate good babies like Anji and Xiaoyu.
At the age of six, I became my sister. At that time, everyone told me that "you are a sister, you should let your younger brother" and "if you have something delicious, give it to your younger brother first" ... At that time, I was ignorant and didn't understand the meaning of brotherhood at all. For me when I was a child, brotherhood was a word that was not beautiful at all. It means that it will drive away my dear mother and take away the love that once belonged to me.
I didn't like my brother very much when I was a child. I don't like playing with him and sharing food. At that time, the strongest wish was to have a brother, not to be a sister.
Married after studying and working as an adult, far from home. My brother always lives with my parents. When I am in trouble and sad, my brother will stand on my side without hesitation and gradually realize brotherhood. Fairness is the most important thing in dealing with the contradiction between two children. As parents, "the boss must make way for the second child", and it is an unwanted view and behavior to compare the advantages and disadvantages of two children at every turn.
No matter how old the boss is, he is still a child. Whether to give in or not is the child's own choice. If you love a child, you should respect him as an independent person, not a god.
At the last second, I was harsh with my boss; The next second, whisper to the little one. Parents can be indifferent to things that even God can't stand.
I often doubt one thing: are there any children born to love each other in this era? Without parents' instruction, the elder will be polite to the younger, and the younger will respect the elder and be happy forever.
I may be dreaming. In ancient times, there may be. Anyway, there are many children, and it doesn't matter if you fight to the death. Parents don't care, and they can't care. Modern, I don't think so.
Due to the different environment, modern families are small in scale and few in children, and childbirth is the focus of the whole family's attention and care. It is certainly not easy for a child who grew up like this to learn to "share" this lesson in life for the first time when his younger brother and sister were born.
In addition, if parents spoil their children in a modern way, but teach them with ancient ideas, they will see the drama of brothers fighting in the future.
Have you heard the story "Kong Rong makes pears"? In fact, our children often have touching stories about their younger brothers making their older sisters. However, no one will remind you what happened after Kong Rong gave the pear. Hey hey hey! Maybe my brother immediately hit his brother on the head with a wooden stick. "I let you eat pears, why don't you let me eat sugar?"
So no matter who tells you how close their brothers and sisters are; No matter why you see other people's children always love each other so much, I must remind you-
You can't see everything, and you can't see everything, so don't be depressed because of your child's struggle. Parents must regard the quarrel between brothers and sisters as the normal state, and fighting is also the interest of life. Don't drill into a dead end: "am I a bad tutor?" Don't they fit the role? Was I in a bad mood when I was pregnant? ? "
Stop and stop, these ideas will not only help, but also help more and more. As a parent, when you are sure that your brothers and sisters are not blind and affectionate, then things will be as you wish, and it will be difficult to turn back; As a parent, you think this is just a transitional phenomenon, and it will only be a transitional phenomenon, and it will be fine after it.
The last thing parents can do.
This matter, modern parents, no one does not understand; Simple and clear, no need to explain. As long as people with "empathy" should know, never do it. However, how many parents understand the importance of not doing this to brotherhood?
I won't do it. I won't do it until I die. Don't do it when you are angry, don't do it when you are angry, don't do it when you are desperate, and don't do anything. I know I can't do it anyway.
The child is in his teens, and I haven't done it once.
"Don't put diapers. Look at my sister going to the toilet by herself. " At the age of three. ...
"Don't be so timid. Look at the younger brothers sleeping by themselves." At the age of seven ...
"Why is your handwriting like a ghost? Your brother won the prize in the calligraphy competition! " At the age of eight ...
"Why don't you study hard? Look how good my sister's grades are! " At the age of ten ...
Do I need to continue? These are actually just basic sentence patterns. Will it sound familiar if you add "shame", "crying baby", "growing up", "shame" and "worthless" after each sentence?
If you compare these brothers and sisters, you may have heard of them since childhood, but you are disgusted but helpless. But what is even more frightening is that I may not be able to get rid of the entanglement of fate, and I will unconsciously come up with such words from my mouth and pass them on from generation to generation. ...
If you say, "Why not use your brothers and sisters as role models?"
But I said: an example must be a heartfelt yearning. The focus of parents' opening is not to set an example, but to criticize, belittle, hurt and even vent.
If it's just a simple criticism, it should be directed at objects rather than people. If we only keep the first half of this sentence and remove the comparative words behind it, although I don't quite agree with it, at least the lethality of destroying brotherhood will disappear. This criticism of comparing brothers and sisters is really the biggest potential murderer who causes discord between brothers and sisters.
Having said that, if you still can't understand the importance of not talking to children like this, then try to see:
"Dad, how much do you earn every month? Look, Wang Xiaoming's father is driving a Mercedes. "
"Mom, the nutritious lunch at school is really delicious, much more delicious than your lunch."
"Husband, come home from work early. Anyone who doesn't have to go to work earns more than you."
"Wife, eat less. Look how charming the wife next door is. "
In fact, it is the most normal conversation to remove the comparative words here, and there is nothing wrong with it. But once you join the comparison, it will not only help things, but also have serious adverse effects that you can't see or touch.
Our sister is very good at swimming. At the age of five, she could jump into a swimming pool three meters deep. My brother is almost seven years old, and even the bath water has rushed to his head for a long time.
Our brother has been sleeping in a room alone since he was a child, and he doesn't cry or make trouble. My sister is eight years old. She doesn't turn on the searchlight when she sleeps, but she often cries for her mother in the middle of the night.
At this time, in a hurry, I may say something I shouldn't say. But what comes out will never be "What do you think of my sister" or "What do you think of my brother".
What pure animals children are! How's my sister? Will my brother not know? How is my brother? Sister will not know? Wait for your parents to talk? It's no use saying anything. Why can't parents hold back? Even the original imitation and role model between brothers and sisters were destroyed by a word from their parents.
Look at the examples around you, and you will understand how many younger brothers are struggling in the shadow of their brother's achievements and how many children are breathing under the preference of their parents.
Parents must put themselves in their shoes. If one day the boss says to you, "Look at how efficient the supervisor next door is, look at …", do you hate it? Can a boss with such an attitude win people's hearts? Don't do unto others what you don't want done unto you.
Parents' mentality of "hating iron not to produce steel" is reflected in their words, which may not only hurt their brothers and sisters, but also hurt their children's hearts.
Be brave, don't cry, write neatly, study hard and exercise more ... the simpler parents want to express, the better. Don't involve others.
Which child doesn't want to win the hearts of his parents! Don't use brothers and sisters as weapons to criticize children, which is the first basic skill to make "brothers don't dispute".
Boss, you don't have to let your dick
"If you are a brother, you should give way to your brother."
"You are my sister, why did you make her cry?"
Every time I hear something similar, I feel very wrong.
There are only right and wrong things, how can we divide them by age?
"Sister wants younger brother!" No matter persuasion, threat, inducement or oppression, any tone is the same. In this case, it never came out of my mouth. Not before, and never again. Because, in my heart, I don't think at all-make the big one smaller.
When there is a dispute between brothers and sisters, what parents usually think may be: "Children are not sensible!" " "
How small is "not sensible"? After three months, it is impossible for brothers and sisters to meet again. What about eight months? If an eight-month-old baby crawls over and plays with her sister's toys, she should also "reprimand" the baby on the spot-at least say "no, don't play with her sister". This is also psychological warfare, so that the boss will be convinced. Because in children's minds, rules and principles are regardless of age.
Imagine that when one of the brothers and sisters is still a really sensible baby, there will be no dispute. When the sibling dispute begins, no matter how trivial, it may be that "a one-year-old brother snatched a toy from a three-year-old brother" or "a two-year-old sister grabbed a four-year-old sister's hair" ... No matter how young a child is, "let him be the big one" is no longer an excuse for parents to deal with sibling disputes.
Please think about ourselves, how many times, we don't know how to solve the quarrel or dispute between brothers and sisters, or don't want to deal with it at all, so-"making the big smaller" has become a panacea for parents.
The panacea is really useful, and it can solve everything in one sentence. However, poison is often the most effective panacea for raising children. When you realize that the poisoning is too deep, even Jin Yong can't help you find the antidote.
In fact, what children care most about is whether parents handle things fairly. If you just take it for granted that "the big one gives the small one", over time, the boss will not willingly give up the second one. "As long as I seize the opportunity, I must take revenge." This is human nature.
It is often seen that brothers and sisters "like" a toy at the same time. Parents always like to say this sentence: "Let my sister play first, she is young." "Let my brother play first, he is less sensible."
This is not only unfair, but after three or two times, children will immediately learn one thing: this is a good move to bully their brother or sister. As a result, the struggle between brothers and sisters is endless.
"Whoever gets the toy first will play first, and it's the next person's turn when it's over." What does such a simple truth have to do with age? Only when the rules are clear can we sit back and relax in the future.
Inequality, not lack, is the cause of trouble.
It's rare to see many parents whose children have grown up. Whenever there is a dispute, it is still the same sentence: "let the big one let the small one." It is no wonder that many bosses in the family are psychologically unbalanced all their lives, and even resent their parents for a lifetime because of this sentence. Once someone is psychologically unbalanced, can the feelings of brothers and sisters get better?
When I only have a candy in my hand, I won't say to my sister, "My brother is still young, please let her go."
When all my brothers and sisters want their mothers to hug them at the same time, I won't say to my sister, "My brother is still young, please let her."
I still won't say this when my brothers and sisters insist that my mother read the story book in her hand.
So how can things be solved? I usually return questions to my children:
"Mom has only one candy. What should I do?"
"Mom can't hold two children at a time. What should I do? "
What if it still doesn't work? Usually I say:
"How about taking turns?"
What if we can't agree?
Children know that usually at the last minute, "none" is the mother's answer. So disputes are usually settled before this.
Gradually, the child found that the mother only asked right and wrong, which is the so-called "only asked right things, not people." No matter how old my sister is or how young my brother is, those who do wrong are those who will be punished.
It's simple.
Children are relaxed, and so are their parents.
Does your boss bully the younger one? Give it a pinch when people aren't looking, give it a push? Parents often suffer from lack of evidence, which makes them even more angry. "Brothers don't love each other" is like sand in the eyes of parents, and you can't see a grain.
At this time, have parents ever thought about why big resentment is small? Are you more wrong and need to take on more responsibility? As for what did you do wrong? I can't help you count them one by one, you must always understand them with your heart.
At the last second, I was harsh with my boss; The next second, whisper to the little one.
Parents can be indifferent to things that even God can't stand.
The attitude of parents-determines the depth of brotherhood.
Brothers and sisters are at odds, and sometimes they all argue about the word "fairness".
Confucius said, "If you don't suffer from widowhood, you will suffer from inequality."
Less, it doesn't matter; But if it is unfair, it is absolutely impossible.
This is human nature. Everyone can only get one candy. As long as it is fair, no one will complain. If one person becomes three, it should be happy; But if someone is found to be four, can this pass?
Adults may not live, let alone children.
Are you a fair parent?
I think so. My two children are not far apart from gender, so it is not difficult for parents to be fair. Yes, if they are beautiful and ugly; One is easy-going and the other is stubborn and difficult to get along with; One is excellent at school, and the other is full of report cards? Can I still be fair and calm? I don't know. For parents, this must be a more rigorous test.
It is often taken for granted that the parents of the previous generation treated their children unfairly. There is no need to hide it and they are not afraid to hurt their children's hearts. This is incredible. "Married daughter, spilled water" is the classic evidence.
A friend's old mother sold a house in her name. She divided her share into four parts and prepared to give it to her four children, all men and women. My friend is the only daughter.
At this time, my relatives and friends next to my mother spoke: "Why do daughters have to share?" When you get married, you will have someone else's surname! "
"Why can't daughter points? They are all my children! You want your son to live more comfortably, and so does your daughter. What's more, what does this have to do with surnames? As long as it is my child, it is fair regardless of gender. "
This passage has made women in China vomit for five thousand years.
My friend, her life is not bad at all for the money her mother wants to leave her.
However, it is not poverty but inequality.
The fairness of parents is the greatest supporting force for children to finish their lives peacefully.