If there are these seven signs in the process of raising children, it means that parents raise their children well and should affirm themselves!
So, what are these seven important signs?
1? Children can show all kinds of true emotions in front of you.
Many parents have a headache. The child "lost his temper" in front of himself. But everyone will have all kinds of emotions, the only difference is whether they will be displayed in front of someone.
For the average person, people who feel closer are more likely to express their emotions in front of them.
If children feel close to their parents, they dare to show all kinds of emotions in front of their parents, especially negative emotions: anger, sadness, fear and so on. Only when children have absolute security in getting along with their parents can they really express their emotions or coquetry in front of their parents.
If children rarely show emotions in front of their parents, or only show a certain kind of emotions, it means that there is something wrong with the parent-child relationship.
Parents need to pay attention to whether to prohibit their children from showing certain emotions, or to interrupt or stop them when they show certain emotions.
For example, many families in China don't allow children to cry, especially boys. Children who grow up in families where crying is not allowed, most of them will not express their emotions when they grow up, like cold violence, and suppress pain inside.
As parents, we need to learn to accept people's innate emotions. Accept every emotion of the child. If children don't know how to describe their emotions, they can help them say it.
2? When a child is injured or has a problem, he will come to you first.
Many parents think that children will find their own solutions when they encounter problems. Actually, not necessarily. Children will first judge their parents' reaction to this matter and predict the possible consequences.
All judgments are based on children's past experiences with their parents.
Only when children feel that they will get help will they find their parents at the first time when they encounter problems.
If a child has been hurt outside in the past and asked his parents for help, and their parents take a blaming attitude, then the child may prefer to endure the pain rather than ask his parents for help in the future.
3? Children will talk to you about their ideas without worrying about your reaction.
If the child is willing to tell you what he thinks, it means that your parent-child relationship is very close.
Some parents are too strict with their children, or overreact to their children's thoughts and emotions, and children will become increasingly reluctant to tell their parents what they think.
In addition, children can feel their parents' psychological endurance more accurately. If they think their parents can't bear it, they won't tell their parents.
4? You don't judge or label children's feedback.
Some parents' feedback to their children is not objective at all, and even put a lot of labels on their children.
I once heard a mother say that the book that children don't like vegetables very much is nothing, but she quickly came to the conclusion that this is the reason for his impatience.
I don't know what the two have to do. The only relationship may be: the mother is worried that the child doesn't like vegetables and that the child is impatient.
Some parents always label their children after telling them their behavior-such as laziness, greed, lack of intelligence and so on.
These labels and judgments do not make children better, but only make children more and more like "labels", so there is a saying that a child's life is a life in the mouth of a mother!
5? Encourage children to do what they like.
Doing what you like can help children develop a sense of accomplishment.
In the process of pursuing interests, children will develop the ability of "perseverance" and they will try less risky behaviors.
Some parents don't allow their children to discover their interests. The "interests" they let their children develop are actually the interests or hobbies that children have not realized.
If parents don't let their children discover their talents and force them to learn fields that they are not interested in, children will be very afraid of disappointing their parents and feel particularly stressed in the process of learning.
As a result, children have been studying in depression.
6? You will make appropriate rules for your children without worrying about their resistance.
Responsible parents will guide their children's behavior and make appropriate rules for them, instead of letting their children go because they are worried that they are unhappy or dislike themselves.
Children who let go completely will encounter a lot of trouble in the future.
Suitable rules include: what time to do every day, such as eating time and sleeping time; Living habits planning, brushing your teeth before going to bed, changing clothes, doing housework, and letting your parents know who you are with when you get home late; Use polite language, what etiquette to pay attention to when going to other people's homes, what to pay attention to when crossing the street and taking the bus, and so on.
7? Will apologize to the children and make amends.
If there is a problem with the parent-child relationship, what the child does wrong is not necessarily the child's fault, and sometimes parents will do wrong. For example, emotional overreaction, losing temper with children, and hitting children.
In the project of getting along with children, what is important is not "punishment" but "guidance". If there are problems with parents, parents need to admit and make up for their mistakes.
You can talk to your child: What does the child think and why there are such problems.
You can also talk to your child: What emotions or thoughts you had at that time made you react to your child like this, and sincerely express and communicate with your child.
Parent-child relationship is a lifelong relationship.
Traditional thinking always thinks that parents should be above their children, and everything is taken for granted. Even if you think that "this is for the good of children", you don't need to consider the feelings of children.
In fact, many parents think that "I am all for the good of my children" and "I am all for you" and so on. Suppose we change the dimension, let us have grown up and recall what our parents did for us. What kind of mood are we in?
Even if we are parents now, we may still disagree with our parents' statements and practices, and even be resistant and angry.
If we are really "for the good of our children", we should stand on the side of our children and let them become a truly happy person, instead of blaming, beating and educating them from our own wishful thinking.
The process of educating children is to look back on your life and cure yourself: to see your own shortcomings, correct and change, and become a better self and a better parent.
May all parents sow and grow and reap happiness in the process of raising their children.