Solidification thinking

Everything is the same.

It is not accurate to tell children "not to talk to strangers", and there is no difference between good and bad in sex safety education.

Not all strangers are bad, nor all acquaintances are good.

You know, according to the survey, 80% of sexual assaults are committed by acquaintances.

Real safety education is not a simple sentence: "Trust acquaintances, don't trust strangers" and "Don't let people touch the private parts covered by underwear". Such remarks are too across the board!

What we really need to do is to guide children to pay attention to their physical boundaries, truly respect their uncomfortable feelings, and teach them the correct expression.

Say two experiences that everyone will have during the New Year:

Visiting relatives and friends, many relatives want to kiss and hug their children because they like it. Many babies are actually contradictory. Because of the face problem, adults may acquiesce and tell their children that it's okay because uncle likes you.

Or a relative's little brother is always picking on the baby's pigtails, and the adults acquiesce and tell the child that it's okay. My brother is kidding you.

If you always ask and educate your children in a safe environment that you think is safe, can children automatically learn to refuse correctly when they meet real bad people?

A child has the most natural sensibility. If his initial feeling is that his body has been violated, but his parents say it doesn't matter, is it good or harmless? When a child really encounters bad behavior, he will even think of his parents' "teaching" and think that it is just a way for others to like him, although it makes him very uncomfortable.

Therefore, as parents, it is imperative to learn to respect children's feelings and tell them:

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable without your permission, whether it's bullying your children, invading your teacher or hugging a stranger.

As long as you don't like it, you can say "no" loudly and tell him "I don't like it, please don't touch me!"

Ask for help and tell mom and dad.

You can even recreate or simulate various scenes.

For example, the scene appears again:

"Today, some relatives insisted on holding the child, and the child cried, right? Then what happened? What else can children do? "

Next, dad will play relatives and guide the children. For example, children do not want to hug, but they can shake hands.

Another example is scenario simulation:

Suppose there is a complete stranger who insists on kissing the child. What should I do?

Parents can play different people, complete strangers, colleagues of mom, colleagues of dad, relatives of hometown, neighbors next door, etc. These may have different reactions.

What kind of person do you want your children to be? How do you expect him to react? In fact, parents can demonstrate it first. In this way, children can have the courage to say "no" politely and forcefully when they face it alone in the future.

Misunderstanding 2

Based on adult's understanding or personal experience

Label a child

During the Chinese New Year, many male treasure mothers said that they had been severely hit.

Many relatives like to tease children, and then occupy the moral high ground and say:

Boys should be brave and can't cry just after teasing.

Uncle and grandpa took it out to play for a while. What's the matter? A man can't stick to his mother all the time.

The expression of Nanbao's parents at the moment must be:

However, the female treasure has also been hit hard.

People think that girls should be gentle and quiet, and look like girls, but some female treasures are noisy and naughty, fidgeting all day. Where can there be any girl?

Every time I meet my relatives during the New Year, everyone will say, "Well, this girl is really a woman." .

But is this a woman?

In fact, this is our misunderstanding of "gender enlightenment" in children's sexual enlightenment-prematurely labeling children with gender:

Girls should have long hair and use pink;

Boys should be brave and don't cry;

Girls should not climb stairs too high and naughty;

Boys should not be shy and timid. ..

In the matter of gender enlightenment, the most taboo is to gild the lily!

Don't rely on the experience of the adult world and your own experience to instill some "established" things into your children prematurely!

What we need to tell our children is:

In fact, there is not much difference between men and women except the difference in privacy.

Boys can play with dolls and relieve their emotions through role-playing; Girls can also play Spider-Man to experience heroism.

Boys also cry, which is not cowardice; Girls can win every battle. This is not a person.

More importantly, it is easy to suppress a certain part of children's nature by promoting gender color too early. For example, it will make boys feel that crying and asking for help are things that girls do, and timidity and caution are a kind of weakness; It is a boy's business to make a girl feel strong and brave. If she is too strong, she will not be accepted. ...

These concepts are not conducive to the all-round development of children's personality.

Misunderstanding 3

Pay no attention to step by step

Too early or too late will miss the best opportunity.

Sexual initiation education should also follow children's gender cognition and development law, and decide the cut-in time, interaction mode and depth for children.

It is too early to tell 1 year-old children the source of their lives (1 year-old children don't understand yet. )

It's too late to tell 4-year-olds about body parts. 4-year-old children already have this knowledge. )

Sexual enlightenment should also be gradual and gradual.

0~ 1 year: Know your body.

From birth, parents can guide the baby to know his own body. For example, when touching or taking a bath, he can naturally explain to him the various parts and functions of the body according to his own understanding.

1~2 years old: Understand the difference between men and women.

1.5 After the age of 5, the baby can notice the difference between male and female bodies, and should correctly and accurately tell the baby the names of the corresponding parts, including breasts and genitals, so that the child can feel that they are as natural as other parts of the body and satisfy his curiosity.

Mom and dad can use some interesting picture books to let the baby know the body parts better.

3~4 years old: treat private parts correctly.

When the child enters the sexual bud stage, the baby begins to be interested in a body different from himself. He will ask, why are boys and girls different? How did I get here?

Don't fool the baby into picking it up in the trash can. Tell the child frankly that you are the crystallization of mom and dad's love. Father's sperm and mother's egg form a fertilized egg. When a fertilized egg grows up, it becomes a baby.

However, when children have not yet explored the extent of "how the father's body contacts the mother", it is not necessary to introduce such concepts to children, let alone use adult languages such as "sex life" as an answer prematurely.

At this stage, parents should also pay attention not to expose their private parts in front of their children.

Most children have sexual awareness before they are three years old.

In daily life, we should pay attention to the avoidance or reasonable contact of the opposite sex such as going to the toilet, changing clothes and taking a bath.