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Kindergarten sketch script, funny humor of six people.
Tong Xiangyu, scholar, Guo, big mouth, old punishment, old white at noon. In the inn. Yu Xiang: Show me the accounts of these two days, scholar. Scholar: Settle accounts, so-called settle accounts, Zi once said ... Yu Xiang: Stop it and pay the account! Scholar (nervously pointing to the room): manned ... computer ... talkative ... online game ... account ... Yu Xiang: Are you sure ... Xiao Guo: Of course. Scholar: I don't deny veto and negation. Xiang Yu came into the room, followed by scholar Guo. The mouth is fighting. Scholar (in a low voice): big mouth ... big mouth (impatient): Say something quickly and put it down quickly. Scholar: Manned ... (Farewell) Yu Xiang: Li Dazui, do you still want us to eat? Mouth: Wait a minute, boss. I will upgrade soon. Yu Xiang (angrily): Raw chicken? And ducks? Then Lao Bai came in. Guo: Oh, boss, just let Dazui play for a while. You see, it's 2 1 century, and the train has been changed to the initial d, so it's not allowed to chat with MM online? Yu Xiang (staring at Xiao Guo): Xiao Guo, sweep the floor! Lao Xingjin. Lao Xing: How is everyone? (See big mouth motionless) What happened to this big mouth today? Why are you tired of not moving? Affect the city. Wow, my God, it won't be to make the old white point. Yu Xiang: Zhantang, when did you order him? Laobai: I didn't order him at any time. At this time, only the mouse sound of "Carden Carden" was heard. A group of people looked at each other. Lao Xing: Murderous. Laobai: Is it the legendary "construction from a distance"? Yu Xiang: There is no third person except your mother and Gongsun Wulong. Gongsun Wulong died, and your mother is far away in Beijing. What's going on here? Guo (trembling): It won't be the ghost of Gongsun Wulong to seek revenge ... Scholar: Don't be afraid of Fu Mei, I'll protect you ... Lao Xing (bright knife, guests run away): Who's here? Sign up, first give me a reason to exist! Yu Xiang (chasing): Yinzi ~ ~ Mouth: Are those two holes in your head used for venting? Isn't that the voice of a mouse? Everyone realized. Relieved in succession. Yu Xiang (throwing a rag at his mouth): Li Dazui, are you finished? You haven't cooked for a day, so this shop can't open? Don't be a tiger. Think of me as HELLOKITTY! Guo: Hungry, hungry, hungry! Lao Bai, Scholar and Xiaoguo (lead singer of Lao Bai, accompanied by Scholar Xiaoguo): Sang Kang Amitabha ~ ~ (ring finger) holds Wowotou in his hand ~ ~ There is not a drop of oil in Wowotou ~ ~ ~ There is a drop of oil in the dish ~ ~ ~ I haven't heard the name of geographical crosstalk for a long time. Where have you been? I went to Iceland. A What did you do in Iceland? Go to my aunt's house. Which two aunts are you? B: Hawaii and Karamay. Who are there in your aunt's family? That's my uncle, Kharkov of Yugoslavia. Four cousins and four cousins. Which four cousins? Second cousin Poland, second cousin Finland, third cousin New Zealand and fourth cousin Newfoundland. What are the four cousins? Second cousin Mexico, second cousin Morocco, third cousin Monaco and fourth cousin Santiago. A How did you go to Iceland? B I will ride in Los Angeles first, then go to Panama and Rome, and then get on a sleigh pulled by four sheep. From the Arctic Ocean, the Pacific Ocean, the Atlantic Ocean and the Indian Ocean, I will go home as soon as I arrive in Singapore and Kuala Lumpur. This is Dominica, Madagascar and Jamaica. A What were you wearing when you went? I have walked through Altai Mountain, Tianshan Mountain, Kunlun Mountain, Wangdi Mountain, Tanggula Mountain and Himalayan Mountain, and I have also walked through Qilian Mountain, bayan har Mountain, Hengduan Mountain, Yinshan Mountain, Helan Mountain, Liupanshan Mountain, Qionglai Mountain, Daxue Mountain, Daliangshan Mountain, Taihang Mountain, Daba Mountain, Dalou Mountain, Dabie Mountain, Wuyishan Mountain, Hundred Thousand Mountains, Huashan Mountain and Taishan Mountain. (Speak faster and faster in one breath) A-ho! You have put on enough clothes. What pants are you wearing? B Baku. What hat are you wearing? B No hat, Baotou. What does your aunt cook for you? . B Eat Zhuzhou, Guangzhou, Suzhou, Changzhou, Hangzhou, Xuzhou, Liuzhou, Guizhou and Antarctica. Europe, ... why does a eat porridge when it's okay? B yes. Hamburg, Cape Verde, Cape York, Cape Horn and Cape of Good Hope. What do you have? B There are Java, Helsinki, Egypt, Baoji, Yanziji, Uruguay, Paraguay, Jordan, Dachaidan, Xiaochaidan, Dayu and Xinyu. (Stretch your neck. Yo! ) a what's wrong? B fish card, tea card. Yuci, ruin me, Spain and Senegal. First, be careful. How is this dish cooked? B Peru, London, Washington, Wellington. What is this way of eating? There is plenty of food. What kind of fruit do you have? b? Hungary, Austria, Italy, Congo; Then take it to Nicaragua, Paris, Changli, Great Barrier Reef and Portugal. We ate until dark. A, turn on the light. No. Is catching up with Myanmar. A. what should I do if I catch the power outage? B Then I ordered, Greece, Sumatra, and I continued to eat. Come on, stop eating, you're full. Of course. Look at my stomach, Mongolia. Feel the heart, Inner Mongolia. I really didn't want to move and fell asleep. This promise. Where do you sleep? B Nagoya. I said there, Jerusalem. My aunt covered me with Pakistan, and Palestine covered me with Sarajevo. The result was given to me in Wuhan, and I broke out in Afghanistan, Birmingham and Chaerhan. Give me a score. Sketch script for lightening the burden (draft) Author: Lin Yun's homework story background: overall lightening the burden, recalling the student life before lightening the burden. Character: student Liu's mother and Liu's father (room/left: a desk, a desk lamp, a chair, books/homework piled on the desk. In the living room/right, Liu's father is reading a newspaper, and Liu's mother is packing after dinner. ) Liu Dongzheng buried himself in his homework. Dong Liu: (facing the audience) Hey, English, common sense and Chinese make my little head a little dizzy. I haven't finished writing the Olympic math yet. It's not that I'm stupid, but that the exercises are too abstruse. Listen, you have to turn on the light right after dinner. Go on with your homework. At this moment, the telephone rang and mother Liu patted her hand on the apron. Answer the phone. Mother Liu: Hello, oh, it's Miss Li. Well, I'm his mother. What? Dong Liu always dozes off in class. He is in a bad mood. oh Ok, thank you, Miss Li. I see. Goodbye. (Put down the phone) Mom Liu: Please come out. Dong Liu slouched out of the door. Dong Liu: Mom, what is this? Liu's mother stepped forward and pointed. Liu Ma: (angry) Look at your listlessness. Your teacher just called and said that you are always absent-minded and sleepy in class. What's going on here? Dong Liu explained with his head down. Dong Liu (in a low voice): Mom, I ... I have too much homework. Mom Liu: There is too much homework, too much homework, and other students and teachers don't say anything. Just say you are in a bad mood (excited), and you have made it clear to me! Dong Liu bowed their heads and said nothing. Mother Liu: (to father Liu) You should also take care of the father of the child. At this rate, can we still expect him to be admitted to a key middle school? Dad Liu: It is estimated that the child's learning method is wrong. (Surprise), look (pointing to somewhere in the newspaper) (Look): Learning tips counseling training class to make children learn easily. Key middle schools are not dreams. Haha, the mother has it. Our children also sign up for study. Mom Liu: Oh, really, hurry up and see when to study. Mother Liu leaned over and read the newspaper with father Liu. Mom Liu/Dad Liu: (Read together), training every weekend, deadline for registration1October 30th. Mom Liu: Today is ... Mom Liu/Dad Liu: (Happy) The 29th of X, haha, great. Mom Liu: (to Dad Liu) You should call and sign up. Liu stood up and dialed his father's phone. Dong Liu stepped forward and grabbed the phone. I accidentally dropped my cell phone. Dong Liu: No, Dad, I'm not going, I'm not going! Dong Liu's father, seeing this. Dad Liu (angry, slapped): Hum, you, (pointing, burying your face) We are all trying to be good for you, but you are so disobedient. Dong Liu: (I can't help it) You all say it's good for me, but you know why I feel bad in class. I am sleepy! There is so much homework every day. After supper, I sat at my desk and did my homework. I am a child, too. Did I spend my childhood in these endless homework? Dad, mom, you know, I'm tired, too I longed for a good sleep, but I got up early in the morning and went to school in a hurry. I ... I fantasize that I don't have so much homework, so many math problems, and no composition you assign me every day. Dong Liu ran to the desk and sat down to cry. Dong Liu's mother and Dong Liu's father froze. (Music starts) Mom Liu: (to Dad Liu) He, he is still a child ... We ... Dad Liu: Are we too selfish? ..... Mother Liu: Give him a happy childhood and give him more care. Dad Liu: Pay more attention to him. Alas ..... we can't regard it as a reading machine. Mother Liu walked slowly to the front, followed by father Liu. Liu's mother pushed, twisted and continued to sob. Mom Liu: Dongdong, don't cry ... Dad Liu: Dongdong, dad shouldn't hit you ... (Reaching out and touching his face) Mom Liu came forward to wipe her tears. Close the exercise book on Dong Liu's desk and put it away. Mom Liu: Dongdong, don't write today. Go to bed early. Tomorrow is New Year's Day. Mom and dad will take you to the zoo. Okay? Dad Liu: Yes, yes, Dongdong. Dad also took you to the supermarket and bought a lot of toys ... Dong Liu looked up: Really! Not to buy those exercise books? Dad Liu: No, Dad won't buy any more. Just buy food for fun. Dong Liu: Mom, is it true what Dad said? Mom Liu: It's true, son. Mom and dad will celebrate New Year's Day for you tomorrow. Dong Liu: Oh, great, great! (Jumping up) I haven't been to the zoo for a long time. I seem to go to see that heavy elephant and naughty monkey ... (changing the subject) Dad, I have another wish. Can I watch TV today? (Looking up) Dad Liu: Go ahead, I'm leaving. A family of three, sit down. Turn on the TV (props). A voice came from the TV: Now broadcast the news. According to the research of the Education Bureau, it is absolutely necessary to fully implement the policy of reducing the burden on primary and secondary school students. Pupils are not allowed to take exams, and homework cannot exceed x minutes. Dong Liu: Dad, listen ... Dad Liu: Dad Liu heard ... Dad Liu and Mom Liu held their heads tightly ... Dad Liu: Tomorrow's homework is. Ha ha. Exam Crazy Cloud (Campus Sketch) Characters: Xiao Ai, Xiao Wu, Xiaoling, Teacher Scene: Classroom Content: Xiaoling is sleeping at her desk. Iverson lost a book with him. Get out. Xiao Wu came in and took Xiao Ai's seat. Xiao Ai (entering): Oh, man, this is really confusing. Are you kidding? Don't you see, I've already occupied this seat! Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding and Mao is Mao. Actually, I took it before you! Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning. Why didn't I see you? Wu: I took it last night. Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I get up early every day, grab the head and bleed like a river. I can't lose this position! Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. This place is unique. If you want to get rid of me from here (AI:-Why? ) I advise you to pull it off early! Xiaoling woke up: What was that noise? It's a waste of youth to quarrel in such a sacred classroom early in the morning! Do you know what mistake you made? Huh? Xiao Ai: Yes. Wu: Let's stop arguing. Xiaoling: What you can't forgive is that you woke me up! Iverson sat in front of Xiaoling. Xiao Ai: Last but not least, develop style. Dude, take the exam as I say! Wu: Huh? Today's exam? Xiaoling: Really? My hands are numb today! Xiao Ai: Scared? Xiao Wu: Did you sleep? Xiaoling: None of them are right! I'm tired of playing with grass! Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent the middle of the night burning a lamp and boiling oil! Xiao Wu: Oh, have you studied hard? Xiaoling: Do you also play with grass? Xiao Ai: Oh, I'm thinking about the exam strategy! Xiao Wu and Xiaoling leaned over: What do you think? Xiao Ai laughed wildly: I tell you, this is a great move! Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: Come on! Xiao Ai: Copy from the book-(picks up the book) Xiaoling: Go to hell! Wu: Good idea! Why didn't I think of that? Xiaoling: Come on. You call this a trick? Well, to ease the tension, I'll give you a humorous quiz. Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu ignored her. Xiaoling: Say, how many steps are there in the exam answer sheet? Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu leaned in: How many steps are there? Xiaoling: Three steps! Step 1: Write down your name. (Both nod) Step 2: Read the topic again! (Both nod) Step 3:-Hand in the paper! Xiao Ai: Hand in a blank sheet of paper! Wu: What's the problem? Xiaoling: I'll give you another question; Say, who didn't come to the exam today? Xiao Ai: Who can't take the exam today? Xiaoling? Xiaoling: I'm not here! Xiao Ai: Look around, Wu? Xiao Wu: Yes! Xiao Ai: Ah! I see-little moxa! Wu: You came for nothing! It's not the same whether you come or not! Xiaoling: Answer, teacher! Not yet! The teacher came in. Three people are startled: coming? Why did you come without saying anything? Oh, dear! Teacher: What's your name? Did the toad come in? Three people laughed. Teacher: Be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? Score! On and off, your lifeblood! (Laughter) Exams are our magic weapon! Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, our unique skill! Teacher: Give out the roll paper quickly! Don't come early after the exam. What time is it now? The exam has started for half an hour! What did you do? Teacher: The exam time is two hours! Don't hand in the papers for more than an hour! Students who want to answer questions, please pick up the pen. Students who don't want to answer questions, please rest in place. Students who want to go to the toilet-please restrain yourself! Xiao Ai: I compare my teacher. He is a mouse looking for a cat as an escort-unreasonable demands! Xiaoling: Exactly! Is he a legendary rapper, or why can't he keep mumbling? Teacher: Be quiet! You are quieter than a tree! Do you know how serious a mistake you have made? Heavier than the salt sea! Three people copy. Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) Please don't copy this classmate! Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: I didn't copy it! The teacher came to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying! Xiao Ai: How do you know? I copied it in my desk! Teacher: You dropped the board in front of your desk. I saw it! Xiao Ai: (looking at it) Ouch! Unfortunately, the teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's roll paper, and Xiao Ai just wanted to get up and go. Teacher: Sit down! Go out in an hour! The teacher went to see Xiao Wu, who took the roll paper to the table and copied it. Teacher: Come on, come on, stop pretending! I despise you people who cheat with books most. You have no technical content at all. How did you copy it? Like this? Like this? Wu: Lower it! Lower it! Teacher: (confiscating Xiao Wu's roll paper) You also sit and reflect. Why did you cheat with this book? Xiao Wu: I don't want to take the book either! I can't play grass as well as her (Xiaoling)! Xiaoling stared at Xiao Wu. Teacher: That's right. Remember to mow the grass next time! I like this kind of hard-working child. Teacher: Time is up! Hand in the papers. Put away the roll paper. Teacher: OK. Remember to take the advanced math exam this afternoon! Xiao Ai: Ah! Still taking the advanced math exam in the afternoon? Xiaoling: Ah! ! Take the exam in the afternoon! (Picking up grass) What did you take just now? Wu: Gao ... number? ! What kind of tree is that? Three people: study how to mow the grass! The teacher came in (all teachers can dress up alone). Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher! Teacher: Xiao Ai, how is your composition? (Handing the paper roll to Xiao Ai) Xiao Ai: What's the matter? Teacher: You read it. Xiao Ai: "My teacher", my teacher has a melon face ... Teacher: Wait, (takes out a big sign to write claws) Are you a melon with a melon face? You wrote that my teacher has a claw face! Xiao Ai: Teacher, paw face is also a face. Can't you make do with it? Teacher: Keep reading. Xiao Ai: My teacher is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful … Teacher: Stop! You wrote so much. It's beautiful. Why? Just write it to the end! Xiao Ai: Teacher, isn't the composition required to be no less than 500 words? Teacher: So you only paint beautiful pictures? Xiao Ai: Isn't it required to write true feelings? This is all my feelings! Teacher: Hum, tell you, you are only 496 words! Xiao Ai: Oh! Then add: how beautiful! Teacher: Look at your translation of ancient Chinese. Touch the tree and die. Xiao Ai: Find an old pagoda tree to hang yourself! Teacher: Why is it an old pagoda tree? Look, you explain words, explain death, and you write death! Xiao Ai: Oh, I want to write to death! Teacher: (with a helpless face) You, you hung up again! Xiao Ai: Give me another chance! I have rebuilt it five times! Teacher: OK, I'll give you a chance. I've heard of pemphigus, and I'm comfortable with it, right? You can make sentences easily, and I'll give them to you when it's right! Xiao Ai: Do you have any fish? ! Fish ... fish, fish swim in the water, and there are fish in the blade ... Teacher: (laughing) Congratulations, you won-Xiao Ai: Did you pass? Teacher: (it doesn't matter) the sixth chance to rebuild. Xiaoling and Xiao Wu: Forget it, let's study the tall grass. The teacher came in. Xiao Wu: Philosophy teacher! Teacher: Xiao Wu! Wu: Yes! Teacher: Look at your roll paper! My question is: this is the question, please answer. what did you say ? Xiao Wu: This is the answer. Please give points ... Is there a mistake? Teacher: Is this a question? Teacher: You-OK, next, the essay question: What is courage? Why didn't you answer it? Xiao Wu: I answered! Teacher: Just five words! Wu: (reading) This is courage! That's right! Then I handed in my paper without answering the following questions. How well I explained my courage! Teacher: You-you wait to hang up! Xiao Wu: Teacher! Give me another chance! I hung up fifteen times! Teacher: Then let me ask you two questions. It depends on your luck ... Xiao Wu: Two-too many! Teacher: OK, the first question is correct! If you don't answer the second question, I will let you pass. How many hairs do you have? Xiao Wu: I wish I were bald. Teacher: Answer! Xiaowu: 123456789! Teacher: How do you know? Xiao Wu: Teacher, I don't have to answer the second question! Teacher: OK! Very good! Very good! Holding (handing a piece of paper) Xiao Wu: This is-Teacher: Re-examination Form! Xiaoling and Xiao Ai: Let's study advanced mathematics-the teacher came in. Xiaoling: English teacher! Teacher: Xiaoling, why are you running? No breakfast! Xiaoling: No-Teacher: I saw you eating this morning! Xiaoling:-Have breakfast tomorrow! Teacher: Xiaoling, look at the roll paper. None of your reading comprehension is correct! Did you just choose the topic without looking at it at all? Xiaoling: No! Teacher: How dare you quibble! Xiaoling: I didn't even look at the question, just the answer! Teacher: And your composition! Why does it look familiar? Xiaoling: Does it look strange? Read and understand the first sentence of each paragraph … Teacher: Xiaoling, it's time for you to wake up! You this time-Xiaoling: Ah! Teacher, I failed five or five times, no, fifty times! Can't hang up any more! Teacher: it's not that I didn't give it to you ... this ... for example, can you translate what evening dress means? (to the audience) This is an evening dress! Xiaoling looked at Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu. Xiao Ai: Night is night, right? Perfect for big games! Xiao Wu: clothes are clothes, MM is always clamoring to buy them! Xiaoling: Oh! Teacher, I know! It's a night suit! The teacher shook his head. Xiaoling: No, I have to find a teacher! You two take your time! (2) Xiao Ai: Forget it, study hard.