Examination-oriented education will inevitably lead to the abandonment of education.

The education of children is the education of life. Children's cognition of the world always starts from the surrounding environment and life. Under the great pressure of exam-oriented education, China's education has entered a very serious misunderstanding: anti-life education.

At present, the educational tendency centered on entrance examination is serious. Many kindergartens start classes and even have homework. Some kindergartens even list lotus root, bench stool, soy sauce and dance as 500 words for pre-school recognition. The primary school of preschool education has turned early education into premature destruction.

The core of education is to cultivate healthy personality. There is a great danger in present education, which is called neglecting education. On the surface, education is tight and students have a heavy burden, but in fact, real education is ignored. For example, the education of soul, the education of life and the cultivation of healthy personality are all seriously neglected.

"Son, as long as you do your study well, don't worry about anything else." This sentence has almost become a national consensus. Sun Yunxiao thinks that this kind of education is harmful to children's life. They can't cook, they can't take care of themselves, they can't deal with interpersonal relationships, they have no intention of respecting the old and loving the young, and they won't cooperate. Sun Yunxiao said: "Once, I attended a meeting, and the person in charge of a famous university in Beijing spoke that 35 students admitted to this university wanted to commit suicide, and more than 700 people themselves said that they had psychological problems. This is a question of the education system and mechanism. "

Let children form the habit of "having a goal in life and doing things in a planned way"

Family education is the most important. Sun Yunxiao believes that family education is the education that has the longest and deepest influence on people. Under the background of exam-oriented education, some families have excellent children.

The focus of family education is the cultivation of habits, which is a process from passive to active and then to automatic, especially focusing on cultivating children's intelligent habits of "having goals in life and doing things in a planned way". Sun Yunxiao pointed out that young people in China have a great weakness, and that is blind study. Entering a university, I don't know what university is good and what major suits me.

A famous study by Harvard University shows that 3% people can write clear goals and detailed plans, 13% people can write rough goals and rough plans, and 84% people have no goals, no plans and have not thought of them yet. 10 years later, I found these people again and did the same research and analysis. The results show that the 3% people with clear goals and detailed plans earn 10 times as much as the other 84% people and become the elite of American society. Those who wrote the general goal and master plan 13% earned twice as much as the other 84% and became the middle class of American society. Those who have never had a goal or plan have a lower standard of living. So this shows that success and happiness are related to whether he has a goal in life and a struggle plan.

According to Sun Yunxiao's recollection, when he saw that his daughter who was about to take the college entrance examination was very nervous, he said, "It doesn't matter, daughter, I can be admitted to junior college, and I will be promoted to junior college in the future." Later, when my daughter said that she wanted to go to Fudan, she encouraged her to work hard: "Although it is difficult, you have this desire. You would never dream of getting something for nothing. Once you pass the college entrance examination, you can achieve the first goal. If not, you can achieve the second and third goals. "

Later, my daughter worked hard and was admitted to the sociology major of Fudan University with a slight advantage according to her concept of "studying in a university and studying in a city".

Sun Yunxiao emphasized that as parents, children should be respected, and major issues should be decided by the children themselves. Love without understanding and respect is unhealthy.

"Rich second generation" is not the rule, but the result of educational failure.

Children's healthy growth depends not only on academic performance, but also on many aspects of life: cultivating children's self-confidence, love, responsibility, self-control and adaptability, and the most important thing is to let children learn to restrain themselves for longer-term interests.

In 2004, a comparative study of Chinese and Australian children's self-control found that more than 70% children in China quickly showed "impatience" and got smaller plates. However, more than 70% of Australian children can wait 15 minutes to get a bigger share.

Research shows that a child can restrain his temporary desires for more important and long-term interests. When he grows up, his independence, sense of responsibility and self-control are stronger than those children who can't wait, and he is more likely to make a difference.

Sun Yunxiao believes that we have trained too many children who can't wait today, and parents don't want their children to wait at all. Give you what you want, how can the child wait? Children who can't wait are likely to be willful children, and children who are too satisfied are unhappy children. There is a concept in social psychology called "satiety deprivation theory": when a person's needs are met, his happiness is also deprived.

There are more and more rich families now, but they often don't last long. In fact, the "rich second generation" is not a law, but the result of educational failure.

Lattice determines fate. The cultivation of sound personality in family education is more important than any professional ability. With the rich life experience, we know that in children's lives, we are only stage companions in children's lives, and children's lives will be their own sooner or later.

In the process of raising children, we begin to step out of self-expectation, and children have no obligation to realize our unfinished wishes and our desired wishes. In the background of the digital age, knowledge is easy to obtain. How to face yourself, others, nature and the world is the key to children's psychological harmony and happiness. Therefore, the core of education is to cultivate children's sound personality.

The core of education is to cultivate children's sound personality

Love is the foundation of personality. With love, we will sincerely respect life, respect ourselves, respect others, cherish life, be kind to ourselves and others. On this basis, children will have awe and grow up with heartfelt values and world outlook.

Self-confidence is the embodiment of high self-esteem and the basis for children to face difficulties and challenges positively and optimistically in life. Therefore, in family education, we should cultivate and protect children's self-confidence through active care and specific encouragement.

A sense of responsibility is the capital of a child's life. No matter what ability, with a sense of responsibility, children will try their best to do things well and accumulate life capital. Therefore, we should treat children dynamically, define the responsibilities that children should bear according to their age, learn to show weakness in the process of raising children, and let children have a sense of value and responsibility.

Self-control, self-control is the most important embodiment of will. What modern children lack. Therefore, it is necessary to choose the right time to cultivate children's delayed gratification (self-control) and learn to manage their own needs, thus increasing children's ability to resist temptation.

Toughness, toughness is the cornerstone of life toughness. With the increasing number of 42 1 families (4 refers to grandparents, 2 refers to parents, and/kloc-0 refers to children), parents and guardians (grandparents or grandparents) often intentionally or unintentionally deprive their children of the opportunity to resist setbacks: they will help their children solve problems before they try to solve them or realize them. However, a person's life cannot be smooth sailing, and the ability to resist setbacks is the ability that children need to exercise all their lives. When children encounter setbacks, parents can encourage and support them, but they cannot replace them.