Our parents always ask too much of their children because they are ambitious, for fear that a little praise will make them complacent. Therefore, some parents praise other people's children, and even when children "question" whether their parents like other people's children, they are called heartless.
When I was a child, I was taught by my parents that "stupid birds fly first" and "diligence can make up for it". After labeling for a long time, you will naturally think that you are not as smart as others, and only by working harder than others can you get even with others. In my childhood memory, my parents are not proud of me. It was not until an unconscious conversation in adulthood that my parents suddenly realized my misunderstanding. The previous "label" was just an encouragement, and I was afraid I would be proud if I didn't praise it. They are just secretly proud of me in their hearts. Everything is a natural fact, and parents are of course proud of their children. It seems hard for parents to say these compliments.
Parents of the older generation don't really express their feelings to their children. They are afraid that praise will make their children proud. If they want their children to make better progress, they should be encouraged by setbacks.
But now more and more parents are aware of the lack of praise, and spare no effort to praise their children in the process of raising them, so that they are full of confidence and "zero" resistance.
With too much praise and depressed encouragement, it is always easy for us to stand in an extreme position to evaluate children.
How we "praise" is particularly critical!
Praise only the facts, not the facts. According to the actual situation, praise, not exaggeration, clearly point that out and encourage children to continue to refuel.
Clearly point out the content of praise, not generalize. These general praises of "great" and "really smart" can easily make children fall into a complacent situation and make them think that they are great, so it is not easy for children to accept negative voices after a long period of praise.
Find out the characteristics of your children and encourage them. As long as hard work is good, you have made greater progress than yesterday, which is commendable.
All praise should be based on the children themselves, rather than blindly comparing with others. As long as you see the children's efforts and efforts, praise specific behaviors.
Of course, in addition to praise, our parents also need to know what their children like to listen to.
I am proud to have your mother.
Although you didn't do well enough, mom saw that you worked hard.
Although you made a mistake, mom believes you didn't mean it.
We can sum up our experience and not make the same mistakes.
No matter what happens, mom will stay with you.
These five sentences let children know that their parents understand themselves and love them deeply. Such children will become more and more confident.