Venue: No.406, North D District.

Time: one night

[A has an electric heating rod in his hand.

A: There was a great man named Niu Ke, who once said in the novel Capital Forum: "Taking a hot bath is a great pleasure in life". It's so cool to take a hot bath after playing ball! What (to the audience)? You ask me who is Bovine? Awkward. No, I'm telling you, Bovine is my pen name. Haha, sorry to embarrass myself!

[b, take a notebook.

B: There is an old saying, "Think about the old grannies in the old society, and think about the self-discipline meeting of our teachers' college. "As a member of the self-discipline association, I have no conscience to receive electricity and stick every day.

[B] Knock on the door.

A: Who is it? Can't you see I'm boiling water?

B: Me! Self-discipline is the only way.

[A] Hurry and find a hiding place, there is nowhere to hide, and stick it in the back.

I'm wearing nothing, nothing.

(A opens the door, bows and takes out his cigarette case)

Do you smoke?

B: Classmate, according to internal regulations, smoking is forbidden during work!

Do you want to drink some water?

B: Don't drink water during work!

Do you eat fruit? By the way, fruit is forbidden during work.

B: Who told you not to eat fruit during work? However, it is rare for you to be so filial, so let it go first!

A (Feeling): As the saying goes, "Think about the old grandmother who has been mixed up in society for a long time, and then think about the self-discipline meeting of our normal college, and then get tired. "(b) I don't know if the eldest brother of the self-discipline association is here. What happened?

b； Come on, come on, it's a mess. Don't be glib. Someone reported you.

A (interrupting) No, no, absolutely no one in our dormitory sings in the toilet in the morning 1: 36!

B: No, someone reported that you used electric heating rods illegally. I am here to investigate.

A: (making dementia) An electric heating rod? What is an electric heating rod?

B: You don't even know about electric heating rods? Classmate, a person can have no knowledge, but he must have no common sense. This is an electric heating rod (take out a piece of paper with an electric heating rod on it). It has the characteristics of less energy consumption, fast heating and convenient carrying, and is a home trip.

A: Take a bath and make instant noodles.

B: preferred equipment. (Angry) How dare you flirt with me?

How dare you!

Don't play dumb with me. As for us, we always encourage people to turn themselves in. If I find out, you won't regret it

A: Hum, please!

B: Son of a bitch, if you dare to report the military situation in a panic, you wait for me to kill him. (Angry, forgot to take the notebook)

A: Fortunately, I have been smart all my life. (Take out the electric heating rod)

Look at my memory, I forgot to bring my notebook. (See A on the screen) Well, if I catch you, are you still alive?

A: Brother, brother, my admiration for you is like a raging river, like the uncontrolled Yellow River flooding!

B: Nowadays, young people always like to have one or two idols.

A: You are my idol!

B: But don't blindly engage in this kind of personality cult.

A: Brother, oh no, uncle, aunt, hero, why don't you leave me alone?

You know our policy best.

A: Policy? It is everyone's responsibility to respect the old and love the young, collect money and protect the lawn.

You made that up. Our policy is to keep pace with the times.

A and b: pioneering and enterprising.

A: OK, I have always supported your policy.

I haven't finished yet. Our policy is to confess leniency, resist strictness, give preferential treatment to prisoners, and not kill them.

A: Captives? I will let you be captured once. You fart. Haven't you heard of it? Confess leniency, move bricks in the teachers' college, and fight hard for half a year!

B: It seems that you have to endure a battle?

A: I call it unyielding.

B: The production of electric heating rods is strictly prohibited by the state.

A: I didn't make the electric heating rod!

B: Electric heating rods are strictly prohibited in schools!

Which ear do you use? Isn't it useless to me?

B: You're finished long ago. Moscow University for Nationalities, dozens of foreign students died tragically by the knife of electric heating rods!

How bad is it?

Enough gossiping. Come and register.

A: Registered? It seems that I will die not by the butcher's knife of the electric heating rod, but by the oppression of the self-disciplined society. No one has died since ancient times. Twenty years later, I am still a handsome boy.

B: OK, OK. First, what's your name? Beautiful man!

A: I haven't bathed for three years.

B: Who asked you how long it's been since you took a shower?

That's my screen name.

Who asked about your screen name? I asked your name.

What a fool!

B: Stupid? I said, why are you so mean when you are named?

I said, do you care?

All right, suit yourself. Next item, gender!

A: At my age, he asked me about my gender?

B: gender? Ask you!

A: It's up to you.

B:[ Look carefully] Guys, I really can't see it.

A: Ladies and gentlemen, I look like a eunuch! Male.

B: Male, not early.

Say, next item, address?

One: D North 406

B: 406? Isn't it 506? Then we are not in the same department, hehe, classmate, sorry, I went wrong.

A: Stop, don't move, put your hands up.

[B froze.

You made a mistake. Can you solve this problem? Then who will pay for my mental loss?

B: (coming to my senses) Do you think it's easy for us to get up early to collect electric heating rods?

A: Then it won't be easy for us to get up early and get greedy to avoid the attack. Why don't we try changing roles and see if our ordinary people's lives are better?

B: Just change it. Who's afraid of who?

A: OK, what you said (to the audience) depends on how I mess with him, starting with being caught!

A: Ah, you know our policy best.

B: policy? Our policy has always been collusion between government and business!

A: Bah!

B: Stupid classmate!

A: Huh?

B: Oh, no, silly brother, silly brother, silly brother, I have been your idol for so many years anyway.

A: Oh? (Angry)

Oh, no, no, you are my idol.

A: Young man, it is good to have one or two idols, but don't engage in personal worship.

B: (A brainwave) Silly brother, do you want some water?

A: No!

Silly brother, smoke (takes a cigarette out of A's pocket)

A: Don't smoke [take back the cigarette from B]

Silly brother, do you want some fruit?

A: No (Party B will put the fruit in his trouser pocket, and Party A will take it back, and Party A will take the notebook from Party B). Come and register.

B: (Want to cry) Register?

First, what's your name? And your name?

B: Xiaoming!

Let me ask your name!

Yes, but my name is Xiaoming!

Why such a childish name? Let's see how old he is. His name is Xiaoming. Next, ask your gender.

B: (whispering) Male ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ `.

Can't you speak up? You are still not a man!

B: Male ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A: That's all for now. Go back and wait for the notice.

B: Then can I have my notebook back?

Oh, this notebook is yours. (Opening the notebook) Yes, he is the Self-discipline Association. Oh, my God!

Yes, I am a self-discipline club. Don't move ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~