Children give up when they encounter difficulties, and their ability to resist setbacks is poor. What should parents do? Performance of poor anti-frustration ability: 1. If the requirements are not met, you will lose your temper and cry. I can't stand a little criticism. If you just like to listen to praise, you will be unhappy and even cry when you criticize. 3, strong self-esteem, strong competitiveness, good face, can not bear failure. 4, afraid of difficulties, retreat when encountering a little problem. 5, especially delicate, do something wrong, parents cry when they say it. 6, dare not admit mistakes, always use crying to shirk responsibility. 7. scowl when you encounter a little difficulty. You don't want to ask adults for help, you just want to give up, or you complain. 8. Never seek solutions to difficulties and never analyze the reasons for failure. The reason for the poor ability to resist setbacks is that children will inevitably encounter setbacks during their growth. This is a normal phenomenon. Being able to endure and eliminate setbacks and maintain a complete personality and psychological balance is an important symbol of mental health. However, today's children seem to be generally poor in resilience.
1, parents should establish frustration education awareness and understand the importance of frustration education.
Many parents think that children have poor psychological endurance and should be protected. This concept directly affects children. In fact, it is good for a person to suffer some setbacks, especially in the early days. Parents should correctly treat the educational value of setbacks as a good way to temper their will and improve their adaptability.
Psychologists point out that when people encounter setbacks, more than 90% people will choose five kinds of reactions: attack, degeneration, depression, stubbornness and withdrawal, while the proportion of positive thinkers is less than 10%. When encountering setbacks, most people tend to fall into negative emotions. They always blame negative things for their failed ideas, are used to blaming and denying themselves blindly, and don't know how to adjust negative emotions. Maslow, a famous psychologist, said: "Frustration is not always a bad thing, but the attitude towards it." . A person who can laugh at everything will be better at fighting than the average person. Children who have strong resistance to setbacks are those who can still move forward happily in difficulties. Therefore, it is very important to cultivate children's optimistic and cheerful personality and let them face setbacks with a smile.
2. Grasp the opportunity of frustration education to help children correctly understand setbacks.
Children's correct cognition and understanding of frustration is the key to frustration education and the first step for us to carry out frustration education. Children are still young, and their understanding of things is concrete. Parents should let their children intuitively understand the development process when facing difficulties, and gradually realize the universality and objectivity of setbacks from repeated experiences, so as to truly feel that they will encounter difficulties in doing anything, and the joy of success comes from solving problems. Only by letting children feel and understand setbacks in overcoming difficulties can they cultivate their ability to face setbacks without fear. Therefore, when we educate children about setbacks, we should let them intuitively understand the development process of things, truly perceive setbacks, and realize that life has ups and downs, pains and joys, so as to have a correct understanding of setbacks. Only by allowing children to fully feel setbacks in overcoming difficulties and correctly understand setbacks can we cultivate their abilities of not being afraid of setbacks, bravely overcoming difficulties, taking the initiative to accept new things, and acknowledging and daring to face setbacks. Parents should educate their children to adopt an evasive attitude when encountering difficulties, and encourage them to face reality and bravely challenge difficulties. "You can do it", "You are so brave", "Well done" and "Look at what you have done" ... These words help children build up confidence and inspire them to overcome difficulties. When children overcome difficulties again and again, they increase their courage and stimulate their desire to overcome difficulties. This makes parents' "you can do it" become their own "I can do it"!
3. Teach children to treat failure correctly.
Many times, it is often not the failure itself that brings the biggest blow to children, but his understanding of failure. For example, your son was not chosen to attend the party on behalf of the kindergarten. The reason he thought may be: "I am not as good as other children." But there are other reasons, such as "they need more little girls" or "they want to choose the best singers". This is not to teach your child to avoid responsibility-sometimes it is really the child's own reasons that lead to failure.
As children, their attitudes towards people and things around them are often unstable and easily influenced by emotions and other factors. When we encounter difficulties and failures, we often have negative emotions and can't treat failures and setbacks with a correct attitude. At this time, parents should tell their children in time that "failure is not terrible, as long as you are brave, you can do it well" and "learn from failure and see what to do next time". Parents should consciously take their children's failure as an opportunity for education, guide their children to regain their courage and try again boldly and confidently, and at the same time educate their children to face up to difficulties and setbacks and improve their ability to overcome difficulties and resist setbacks.
4, the expectations of children should be reasonable, so that children can correctly evaluate themselves.
Every child has his own strengths and weaknesses, so parents should make an objective evaluation and put forward reasonable expectations for the growth of children, so as to motivate children to work hard for suitable development goals. If parents only see the child's advantages and ignore his shortcomings, the child will be complacent because of his lack of understanding of his own shortcomings and cannot accept failure; If parents have unrealistic high expectations for their children, it will increase their psychological pressure and make them afraid to face failure; Of course, if parents always find fault with their children, belittle them and have no expectations for them, it will also hurt their self-esteem. Such children lack self-confidence and will avoid difficulties in order to avoid setbacks. In short, parents' unreasonable expectations of their children will increase their chances of encountering setbacks. On the contrary, parents' reasonable expectations can guide children to make a correct evaluation of themselves and make appropriate predictions about the difficulties and setbacks that may be encountered in achieving their goals. In this way, children will be psychologically prepared to bear setbacks and will respond objectively and calmly when facing setbacks.
5. Set an example for children and cultivate their confidence in overcoming difficulties.
Psychological research shows that role models have a great influence on the formation and change of children's behavior. Setting an example for children who are not afraid of difficulties and overcome setbacks not only helps to enhance their confidence in facing setbacks bravely, but also reveals a truth to children, that is, we should not only admire anyone who is successful, but also admire and learn. There is no easy success in the world. Only those who keep making progress in setbacks can win the crown of success.
When children encounter setbacks, correct and appropriate guidance is equally important. As long as adults guide and affirm correctly and successfully, it will undoubtedly give children a valuable wealth in life. Because children lack the ability to distinguish right from wrong, we should adopt the method of positive education, set a correct example for children, and enhance their ability to resist setbacks with the power of example.
6, pay attention to the cultivation of children's ability, cultivate children's ability and spirit of self-reliance and the confidence to resist setbacks.
In order to reduce the number of times children encounter setbacks, it is necessary to enhance their ability to resist setbacks, such as mastering age-appropriate knowledge and skills. For example, children in large classes should do their own things, dress themselves, tie their own shoelaces, fold their own toys and so on. If they can't do all these things, they will fall behind others in group activities. In the long run, children will lose confidence and even break the jar. I won't do it anyway. Anyway, I am backward. In addition to these basic skills, it is also necessary to enhance children's psychological endurance, such as optimistic, positive and upward attitude towards life, not flinching when encountering difficulties, and not being pessimistic after failure. In addition, parents should pay attention to cultivate their children's good hygiene habits and the ability to live independently. Such as washing hands, washing face, dressing, making bed, etc. Many abilities can't be achieved at once. Don't miss any opportunity to seize education in daily life. We should educate at any time, observe at any time, seize the opportunity and provide conditions for them to explore for themselves. When children make progress, parents must give praise and encouragement with a positive attitude, strengthen their behavior, and show an attitude of approval at any time, so as to change their frustration consciousness and improve their courage and confidence in continuing to try.
7. Give children the opportunity to exercise and cultivate their courage to bear setbacks.
It is impossible for a child not to encounter setbacks in his life. In order to make children suffer less in their later life, parents should give their children the opportunity to exercise during their growth, let them suffer properly during their growth, and cultivate their courage and ability to bear setbacks. With such preparation, children may suffer less in the future. Many parents also understand this truth, educating their children to be brave and strong, but this kind of education is often only verbal, which parents can neither bear nor dare to put their children in trouble. However, perseverance in the face of setbacks can not be cultivated by preaching alone. Children must experience setbacks in order to surpass them. Therefore, parents should also pay attention to the design of educational environment in daily education, and don't blindly create a living environment where all needs can be easily met for their children, let alone hinder their children's opportunities to properly accept difficulties and setbacks. What matters in frustration education is not the frustration itself, but whether children have the ability to recover after setbacks and have fearless self-confidence. In fact, frustration education is to cultivate children's ability to find happiness, so that they can be calm and optimistic in the face of any setbacks.
Parents should raise their awareness, change their original parenting attitude, let their children go out of the "protective circle" of adults, let go of their hands and feet, and don't be afraid that their children will fall, get bruised and be hungry. If they fall, they should encourage them to get up by themselves. For children who are picky eaters, partial eclipse and anorexia, it doesn't hurt to starve him for a meal or two. Let children do their own things, and parents should not help them solve problems that they can solve. For example, they should have their own toys and wear their own clothes and pants. In family life, they should arrange their children to do what they can, and never solve all the difficulties in their growth and remove the obstacles to their progress.
8. Let go of your hands and feet and let your child do what he can.
The fatal weakness of children in China lies in their lack of autonomy and strong dependence. In the final analysis, this phenomenon lies in parents' arranged substitution, which makes children lack self-confidence and low ability, and makes them lose the opportunity of self-practice.
Children wear clothes and shoes, all thumbs, dawdle, parents will soon help him get dressed. Children learn to eat by themselves when they are young, and they may get food all over the table, but they still don't eat much in their mouths. Parents get impatient when they look at it, so they feed their children themselves. Parents' behavior seems neat and happy, but it deprives children of the opportunity to learn, and at the same time develops the habit of relying on their parents for everything.
If you spoil your children too much, everything will do the opposite, and eventually you will develop a subtle weakness, so that you will be at a loss when you encounter setbacks. For example, if the child falls down, if it is not serious, we should encourage him to get up by himself instead of rushing to help him; If children want toys, they should be encouraged to get them themselves, and they should be encouraged to get dressed and so on. We can't let them make ends meet. We should let children encounter certain obstacles and setbacks on their way forward, and let them gradually learn to face everything in life independently.
9. Encourage children to overcome difficulties and cultivate their courage to resist setbacks.
Some children are prone to negative reactions in adversity, often become dejected and despondent, and adopt the way of retreating. To change this phenomenon, it is necessary to educate children to adopt a correct attitude, face up bravely and challenge difficulties when encountering difficulties. For example, when children are afraid of climbing mountains and wrestling, we should encourage them to say, "Don't be afraid, you can do it! What is a fall? You are so brave! " Many little girls are afraid of walking on the balance beam and swimming. At this time, encourage children to say, "Don't be afraid, you can do it!" " "
As the ancients said: since ancient times, great talents have suffered a lot, and there have never been many great men. Suffering and frustration can best exercise people's quality and will, and are indispensable experiences for children's growth. Educating children about setbacks will inevitably promote them to better face the difficulties and setbacks in their study and life and learn to stand on their own feet. Overcoming setbacks is not achieved overnight, nor can it be achieved by deliberate pursuit. The key is to let nature take its course and conform to the law of children's development. Cultivate children's endurance and ability to overcome life setbacks, and persevere. Any indulgence and accommodation will cause children's dependence thoughts, so that children can know setbacks through personal experience and overcome them.
10, be more positive and encourage children.
When children encounter setbacks, parents should care and encourage them in time, and give them comfort, encouragement and necessary help so that they will not feel lonely and helpless. At this time, parents should try to avoid negative comments, such as "Don't try again, it's useless to try again", "Don't do it if you can't do it well" and "Why are you so stupid, others have already done it", which will only strengthen children's self-confidence and sense of failure. Parents may wish to adopt some positive comments. For example, "although you didn't succeed, I want to praise you because you have the courage to try, which is good." "You have to believe in yourself. Mom and Dad believe that you can do it. " Doing so will make children realize that their efforts are affirmed and praised, and they don't have to be afraid of failure at all, so they gradually learn to bear and cope with all kinds of difficulties and setbacks.
1 1, know how to care, guide in time, and correctly understand setbacks.
There are too many disappointments in life. For children, the warmth and support of family members are the source of confidence. People are emotional animals, and how much we hope our children can walk well, but setbacks follow their children's lives like shadows, so we should take it as a normal part of life with a normal heart. Children need their parents' love most after setbacks. Therefore, when children face setbacks, parents should give enough love, pay more attention to their hearts, warm their children with warmth, guide them, and avoid setbacks hurting their hearts. When children encounter setbacks that are difficult to solve, teachers and parents should not ignore them and adopt a "ignore" attitude, but should guide them in time to help them face the difficulties correctly. Therefore, how to educate children how to deal with setbacks in life has become an important topic for parents. Under the guidance of correct thinking, parents can help children correctly understand setbacks, analyze the causes of setbacks, let children get rid of the shadow of failure, face up to their own advantages and disadvantages, and thus be refreshed and start again.
12, teach students in accordance with their aptitude, and make an anti-frustration implementation plan for each child.
The same frustration has different psychological reactions to different children, so parents should carry out frustration education according to their children's personality.
If their children are self-respecting, competitive, face-saving, and prone to depression when encountering setbacks, parents of such children should not complain and criticize too much, but give more encouragement; Children with low self-esteem lack confidence in their abilities. Parents should not criticize too much, but comfort more. They should be good at discovering their own strengths, creating opportunities for success and enhancing their self-confidence.
For children with strong ability, they are good children in the eyes of teachers and parents, and most of them are praised, so they are often full of confidence. At this time, parents can't blindly adopt appreciation education, constantly expand their children's advantages and ignore their shortcomings. They should set some setbacks in time for their own shortcomings, and sometimes they need to blow the self-confidence of children with strong abilities and enhance their resistance to setbacks. When children with strong abilities encounter setbacks, parents should give priority to inspiration, let them find out the reasons for setbacks and let them solve problems.
In the face of children with poor ability, we should discover their small advantages in time, encourage them to build up confidence and face setbacks bravely. We should help him to set realistic goals, from low to high, and from easy to difficult, so that children can constantly see their progress and gradually form the ability to overcome difficulties and setbacks.
13, giving children the right to make mistakes
Some parents are always concerned about their children's mistakes. In fact, it is inevitable that children will make mistakes. A child will never grow up if he doesn't make mistakes.
When a child makes a mistake or mistake, as a parent, don't worry, don't get angry, and don't scold or even punish the child.
When a child is at fault, there will be self-blame and conflict in his heart. In view of this situation, parents should seize the opportunity and actively educate their children to arouse their emotional concern. Positive education is a more acceptable way for children. Of course, parents should be reasonable when educating their children, pay attention to emotional communication, and never talk big and empty words, which will cause children's disgust.
A brilliant educational method should be "influence → persuasion → influence", that is, parents should attach importance to emotional communication when educating their children. For example, parents can praise their children first and say, "You did a good job!" " ""you have worked hard! "This is the influence of the previous paragraph, because these languages are easier for children to accept. Then parents will point out the reasons for the child's failure and let the child make continuous progress. This is the purpose of education. Finally, parents should not forget to encourage their children: "If you work harder, you can do better!"! "This kind of positive education allows children to automatically review the reasons for failure and reduce the probability of making mistakes next time.
When children encounter difficulties, they forget to solve the problems from the following aspects.
In the process of growing up, children will always encounter all kinds of complicated problems that need him to solve. At this point, we should not worry. We should help children solve problems together.
Ask the children, "What happened?" Sometimes, children run around in a hurry, and we don't find their own problems. You will solve them. At this point, you shouldn't give your children an answer immediately, but aim at their own questions and repeat them, for example, ask them, "What's the problem?" Or:. "What's the matter? What's the matter?"
This will calm the children down, recall the problems they have encountered, and help them sort out your thoughts, so that maybe they can solve the problems without your help.
Tell your children not to worry.
When children encounter problems, they often have very excited and intense emotions. At this time, we should not worry first, so that under our influence, children may calm down. At the same time, it's also for the sake of the fortress's own children, so that they don't worry, and they should actively find ways to solve it.
When a person is in a strong mood, he is often impulsive and won't listen to what others say. It is not until he calms down that he can think calmly. So if we want our children to hear our views, we need to calm their emotions and calm them down.
Guide their children to think.
When children calm down, guide them to think. Although children may be anxious for you to help them, the correct way is to encourage them to think. Only after they think can we provide answers or help.
When children encounter difficulties, how should mothers guide them to overcome them? Guide children to correctly understand difficulties, which are essential in life. They must face difficulties and have the courage to overcome them.
The child is thirteen. When parents are in trouble, how can he help them ease the difficult trend? The child is only thirteen years old, and it is impossible to help his father (Xi) to alleviate the difficult trend, but he can usually be educated in this respect and educate him that there are others in his heart.
Children are unwilling to do anything they are encouraged to do when they are in trouble, and they get angry when they are in trouble. This is because family members usually like things too much, so they will be at a loss when they encounter things and don't know how to solve them. From now on, they should exercise their ability to solve problems and tell him that he is a villain, so he should be strong and brave.
Old people spoil their children too much. What should parents do for their children? It is that children are spoiled and difficult to discipline in the future. Not obedient. The child decided not to get used to it.
How to change the personality of three-minute heat! People who want to give up when they encounter difficulties. If you are a man, you can stick to your goal and remember a pinyin to "Gan".
If you are a sissy, you just need to think about it.
Should my son and daughter-in-law ask their parents for help when they are in trouble? Can they handle' it's really impossible to ask their parents for help' as much as possible? After all, are they married?
Parents give up a lot to raise their children. What can parents do when they are old? China people pay attention to feelings: everything is bound by family ties, such as family ties, love, romance, teacher-student relationship, friendship in war and so on. It is a responsibility and obligation for parents to give up a lot in the process of raising their children. It is also a responsibility and obligation for parents to support their children when they are old. This is a family relationship and they are duty-bound, but we are old and our children are starting businesses and struggling. As parents, we should give them understanding, support and help, don't you think?