During the whole period of primary school and middle school, primary school made children like learning, not just looking at grades. Children are not prominent in primary schools. By the age of 30-40, outstanding talents are truly outstanding. What's the use of excellent primary schools? Why does primary school suppress children so badly? Many children have different intellectual development from other children. I once talked to the teacher of Normal University. Primary school teachers must be children's favorite teachers. Whether children like learning or not has a significant relationship with the learning environment when they were young, because whether children like this school or not depends on the school environment, and whether they like teachers or not depends on their personality and psychological level. Teachers are unattractive and always fierce, and children's good feelings for learning built up at home will be destroyed by teachers. I once gave a speech in Beijing, saying that teachers should be beautiful, especially teachers before grade four, and should not be people with appearance problems, because teachers are symbols of school and learning. We investigate from the east and the west. People aged 7-9 evaluate a person's good looks. What do you mean good-looking? It is gentle and smiling. Suppose a teacher is fierce. Let the child kneel for a while and stand for a while. Can children like it? If he doesn't like teachers, he doesn't like studying. Middle school has a characteristic. If the teacher doesn't like him, his subjects will be very poor. Why? Go back to the children's ideological level and think that you can't impose your own ideas on them. The child doesn't understand that this teacher is good, and the teacher teaches well, but he is fierce. He doesn't understand children, and as a result, children won't study hard. Gentle teachers are always liked by students. Motherly teachers are very important in primary schools, because the mother has gone to work and the children are still attached to her. As a result, the teacher is better than the mother and the child's psychological development is very comfortable. He will not be banned, nor will he suffer psychological pain. He will make friends with teachers at school. If a teacher knows some psychology, he should treat his students like a mother, especially the teachers in the lower grades. He must be gentle and beautiful, or at least tidy up comfortably, so that the children can have a good impression and concentrate all his good feelings on their studies. It is impossible for them not to study.

2. Let children fully experience the joy of learning.

If you want your child to fully experience the joy of learning at the age of 10, it is impossible for him not to study, because people always do happy things instead of painful things. If learning becomes his most painful thing, he will not study even if he is killed. He thinks that it is short-term pain for you to hit me now, and it is long-term pain for you to hit you later. You can call, and when I finish the exam, you will ignore my study. This is human nature. We must consider the development of children in a safer way. Children are not philosophers. They don't know what's wrong. His wisdom is embodied in the present. He will be angry if he learns from his mother, but he will be happy if he doesn't. Like children in lower grades, school should be their favorite place to go. Of course, we can't change the profound reality of China's educational thought now, but some changes have taken place in our education. Sometimes we will consider children with characteristics. Some children can't adapt to patterned learning, but he is an important person. There is a saying in China that a clever child speaks slowly. Why does he speak slowly? Because when he speaks slowly, his right brain is fully developed. Intelligence is mainly the right brain, and knowledge structure is the left brain. It is the function of the right brain to understand the results of knowledge and use them. In the past, we mistakenly thought that the right brain was not important, but in fact the right brain was very important. The right brain is older and more experienced than the left brain. At this time, you should know that it is ok to stimulate words, but it is not good to stimulate them desperately. Naturally generated words are very good, but if you want to force him to read, like a kindergarten teacher, if a child learns a word, parents will teach him 50 yuan more, and the teacher will be excited. It's terrible that he takes his children to study every day. So I felt a cold sweat after watching this news. If I really fuck my children like this, it will be even worse. In this way, the child (in terms of intelligence level) can't become a deep person. We also see many people with developed left brains and poor lives. They only know linear events, and real events are not important to him. He feels comfortable with the abstract events of the linear model, but when he walks, he will touch the telephone pole and fall into the ditch. Why? Because his right brain is gone and empty, he is not a normal person. Psychologically, most people have emotional disorders, including some great people, but some people's right brain has been abandoned, and some people can't even get a wife. Science separates people from an existing reality because it is abstract.

Step 3 Establish rules

It's fun to make rules. Today, we focus on the important period when children establish rules. It is cruel to forbid them to do this before they are five years old. As long as it is not too big a problem, let them do it. At the age of five, we will establish rules. When he was five years old, when he was angry, his mother would say that you can be angry, but you can't tear dad's book. Those books are dad's treasures. You tore dad. At that time, children can be told what to do and what not to do. There is a premise that we care more about children, and we have formulated many safety rules for children. We have tried our best to make 65,438+00 children learn adult consciousness, what not to do, and set many rules for him. This one won't work, and neither will that one. Anyway, that's how mom and dad taught him. Modern knowledge holds that when 10 is old, children should be given ample opportunities to make decisions freely and be responsible for their actions. How to achieve these goals? We only make one rule for children, one rule for family and one rule for society. Children have a lot of ability and strength to form his own internal rules, which are his own rules. For example, a child has only one thing to respect his parents at home, and he can do anything as long as he is asked to do so. For example, if he touches electricity, his mother will say, it will worry her and hit you. This is not telling him to do it, but who is hindered by it. Children have a rule that they love their parents, so they won't do it. He also knows that it will be dangerous and bad for his parents. His parents didn't force him to do it, but he made many rules, including eating, because he had to respect his parents, and respect can be understood and respected by children through telling stories.

There is only one rule in society, which is based on the premise that your behavior will not affect others. Human society is very simple, because there is only one rule that everyone remembers. If too many people can't remember the school rules, we found that there are more than 200 school rules in middle schools and only 8 in normal universities. You obviously feel that the order of the two schools is different. Normal university has only eight school rules, which is not the content of loving the motherland and the party. It's easy to remember, but these children will remember. They will salute when they see the teacher, and they will form their own rules because he knows it very well. Middle school is a mess, because there are so many things to remember, the teacher can't remember more than 200 school rules, just like the emperor couldn't remember some school rules before, and he would ask the eunuch to look through the books to find out. These rules are so complicated that no child can remember them. There are too many social rules, and internal rules cannot be formed. Children form rules at the age of 10, and the internal rules formed by a child imitating social rules will bind him for life. If he made many rules when he was a child, he couldn't form his own rules at all, so everything was obedience. In the East, there is indeed a hidden language, and education needs some obedience. A child who cannot form rules internally can only rely on external rules. He is sensitive to rules everywhere, and he longs for them. But one thing, when there are no rules, he doesn't know what to do, because he has no internal constraints. He has been bound by the outside world since he was a child. When external constraints are beyond his control, he becomes irregular. Many children, like many college students, are controlled by many rules at home and study well, but when they go to college, their parents are gone, and their parents represent the rules, and the rules are gone. Without internal control rules, he suddenly stopped studying. He didn't know what to do, because his mother asked him to study in the past, and he didn't remind himself and didn't know, so at the age of 10, mom and dad had a very important task, which was to let the children have the freedom to form internal rules. First of all, mom and dad should do well. Children's internal rules are imitated, learned, not forced. This is his natural need, not who tells him what to do. Too many external rules will make him obey the rules and lose his ability.

There are many skills in establishing rules. When establishing rules, don't mention which pot doesn't open. If the child doesn't like cleanliness, don't remind him that he doesn't like cleanliness. Mother will be kind to help. Mothers like children to be clean. Don't keep mentioning his unclean places. /kloc-children above 0/0 can mention it. He understood you then, but not before 10. Why? 10 years old is to establish a relationship. You need him to keep clean. You always remind him of the clean part, not the unclean part. For example, today we say, honey, why is your face so dirty today? The child may think that his mother is angry and wash his face quickly. The next day, my mother said, your neck is so dirty, your face is clean and your neck is still dirty. When I came home the next day, the child washed his neck again. When you see it, you will say, look at your little hands. At this time, the child still felt dirty, so he quickly cleaned it up. As a result, his mother found his knees dirty again. Anyway, his mother always sees his dirty places, and he will give up when he is 8-9 years old. The child kept proving that he was not a dirty child, but when his mother saw that he was dirty everywhere, all his efforts were in vain, and finally the child gave up. The 5-year-old child will say it is clean today. He has made all efforts, but his mother thinks the child is dirty and all efforts have failed. As a result, he agreed, he ignored it, and he finally became a sloppy child. This is the opposite result of mother's establishment, but it is a mistake. If the child's face is dirty, you can say, Wow, your little nose is so white, I want to kiss it. My son's nose is as white as snow. I'll wash my face for you to kiss tomorrow. This only applies to children aged 10. If you do this, adolescent children will be angry. If a 5-year-old child kisses his nose, he will wash his face white and let his mother kiss his face. Therefore, he is innocent. Why? He is happy and so is his mother. She didn't say he was dirty, so he thought he was a clean child. When he is 8-9 years old, the child will tell his identity. I am a clean child. If the child is stingy, you should look for opportunities to praise him for his generosity. As long as he gives something to others, you should praise him even if he doesn't want it. My son is so great and generous that my mother couldn't do it when she was a child. Then next time he will give something he likes to others, because he likes his mother too much.

There is a saying in psychology that if you don't want children to think of tigers, don't mention them. For example, this morning, you told your children, your son and mother told you not to think about tigers today. You can think of anything, the only unexpected thing is the tiger. When a child goes to school with a schoolbag on his back, you chase him and say, son, what do you want to remember today? The son replied, don't think about tigers. When I got home, my mother asked, do you miss tigers? The son said, yes. Mom asked why? Of course he wants to. You remind him all day. Can he not? Therefore, we hope that the child will have a good performance at the age of 10. We can start out of nothing, and in the process of strengthening, we will strengthen it in the behavioral stage, and our son will become such a person. Mom must first decide what kind of person your child is, and then you will see this thing. If you assume that the child is a liar, you think it is important for parents to lie every word. For example, the child's lying has hit the mother's lying anxiety. She thinks honesty is the most important, so her mother is very sensitive to lying. Because mom was angry today, he aroused her inner anxiety, and she put this anxiety. The mother must stare at the child to see if he is lying, and the child is struggling. Every time he proves that he is not lying, the mother will find evidence to prove that the child is dishonest. In this way, the child will give up resistance. Before he 10 years old, he accepted that he was a liar. When the child grows up and is caught cheating during the transition period, his mother will proudly say that I knew he was a liar when I was 5 years old.

10 years old is the period when children form a system of behavior patterns and emotional patterns. Let children understand emotions, don't make value judgments on emotions, and don't say that this is a good thing and that is a bad thing. After the child 10 years old, social culture will tell the child that this proposal is not good. However, because 10-year-old mother has given her children powerful knowledge, it is natural to cry, be sad and be angry. We should educate children to recognize these emotions, don't criticize them, don't say that it is wrong to be angry, and don't say that it is wrong to be hostile to people. You can't do anything without hostility in the virgin forest.

Children's emotions are a complex system, so parents should not split into two. The biggest headache for China people and China culture is dichotomy. They always look at the world in the opposite way, which is the reason why the culture in China is very bad. We always divide things into good and bad aspects. When your idea is not supported, you think it is for you, and so is the child. When a child is 65,438+00 years old, it is the most important time for communication. Communication is equal to children first. A mother tells her children an idea, not communication, but education. Many mothers say I communicate well. I've been talking to my children from the moment they open their eyes to the moment they close their eyes, but all my mother says is what she thinks. The idea of the child is to shut up. He doesn't want to talk. The child was told by his mother that it was not communication but harm.

At this stage, it is ok for children to recognize emotions and know their roles. For example, if you tell your son that you can cry but don't cry like a girl, others will laugh at you. 10 years old is the development period of establishing children's psychological structure, and it is also an important period for the development of interpersonal communication, socialization and ability and behavior. Many parents ignore this important period, and it is difficult for you to remedy and educate your children after 10. Empathy will occur in the stage of mother-child symbiosis, but some mothers did not develop their children's empathy ability when they were 10 years old. A mother can tell her children to be sympathetic to small animals. After the child breaks the grass, the mothers will say that the grass will hurt, and so on. That's good. Children feel others through this kind of input. This child will be kind and he will not hurt others. Emotionally, let children know that anger will not last forever and happiness will not last forever. Emotions flow like water. Allow children's emotions to flow. Don't say you can't do this, you can only be happy and laugh. How is that possible? One cannot be happy forever. Finally, management. When the child 10 years old, if the father has a bad temper, he must not lose his temper in front of the child, but learn self-discipline and management. 10 years old is the formation period of children's habits and the key period for children to form many things.